4th pregnancy scare

[JennaB]

Hello i didnt wanna post but we probably need some harsh advice. So recently married me and my husband live in my older sisters house. She pays all the bills we are both currently not working.
she freaked on us yesterday over my 4th pregnnacy scare. We owe her alot of money promised to pay her back but have not yet. She labeled me immature and said we are not mature enough to be having sex!!! I was on the pill but stopped it due to hormones. We said we would use condoms but that didnt happen either.
she said her house her rules no sex!!!! Is that fair??
she told us we are in no position for a baby which we are not but still behave this way. She said ubtil we prove otherwise sex is off the table or move out. She knows we have no where to go either. We were taken back because we are married adults. Sorry im ranting i know.

[John]

I understand that you're going through a challenging time, and it's not easy when family dynamics get complicated. First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge the emotions and concerns on all sides. Let's break down the situation and explore some perspectives.

Living with family can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it provides a support system, and on the other, it sometimes comes with challenges, especially when different generations and lifestyles collide. Your sister's frustration may stem from a combination of financial concerns, perceived immaturity, and perhaps a lack of communication.

From her perspective, covering all the bills while supporting two adults who are currently unemployed might be causing stress. Add a pregnancy scare into the mix, and emotions can run high. Her comment about maturity might be coming from a place of concern, as she sees financial responsibilities not being met and decisions being made that could impact everyone in the house.

Now, let's address the issue of her setting rules about your sex life. It's crucial to recognize that you're all adults, and personal boundaries should be respected. However, when you're living under someone else's roof and relying on their financial support, there may be some expectations to adhere to their rules. While it might seem intrusive, your sister might be expressing her frustration in an attempt to establish some order and responsibility.

That being said, it's essential to have open and honest communication about these matters. Sit down with your sister and have a calm and respectful conversation. Express your gratitude for her support and let her know that you understand her concerns. Share your perspective as well, including your feelings about the comments on your maturity and your choices in family planning.

Discussing financial matters is often sensitive, but it's necessary to address the issue of the money you owe her. Make a plan together on how and when you can start repaying her. This can help alleviate some of the tension and show her that you're committed to being responsible.

Regarding the rules about your sex life, try to find a compromise. Emphasize that you and your husband are adults who value your privacy but are also aware of the responsibilities that come with living in her house. Suggesting some boundaries that make everyone comfortable might be a step towards resolving this issue.

In the long term, it might be worth exploring options for gaining more financial independence. This could involve actively seeking employment, exploring educational opportunities, or finding other ways to contribute to the household.

Remember, relationships within a family are complex, and conflicts are inevitable. However, approaching these conflicts with understanding, empathy, and a willingness to find common ground can go a long way in maintaining a healthy family dynamic.

Take the time to listen to each other, find compromises, and work towards a solution that respects everyone's needs and boundaries. It's a process that requires patience and understanding, but it's also an opportunity for growth and stronger family bonds.

Wishing you the best in navigating through these challenges.

[Anthonia]

It sounds like you and your husband are currently living in your older sister's house, and she pays all the bills. Additionally, you mentioned that you're both unemployed and recently had a pregnancy scare. Your sister became upset with you over this issue and expressed her concerns about your maturity and readiness for a baby. She even went as far as saying that you should not have sex in her house and threatened to kick you out if you don't comply.

Now, let's address your question about whether it's fair for your sister to impose these rules. When it comes to living arrangements, it's important to respect the rules and boundaries set by the homeowner. Since your sister owns the house and is covering all the expenses, she has the right to establish guidelines for behavior within her own home. It may not feel fair to you, especially considering that you're married adults, but it's important to consider the context and the dynamics of the situation.

It seems like your sister may be concerned about the financial strain and potential responsibilities that may come with another baby in the household. From her perspective, she might be worried about the impact it could have on both her own life and the dynamic of the household. While her approach might seem harsh, it's possible that she's trying to protect both you and herself from potential hardships.

Given the circumstances, I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your sister to address her concerns and find a mutually agreeable solution. It's important to acknowledge her feelings and the valid points she raised. Express your gratitude for her support and acknowledge that you understand her concerns about the financial burden and the impact of another baby in the house.

Take the opportunity to discuss your plans for the future and how you intend to address the financial obligations you owe her. This might help ease her worries and show her that you're taking responsibility for your actions. It's essential to demonstrate that you're actively working towards a solution and are committed to paying her back.

During the conversation, you can also discuss your plans for contraception to prevent any future pregnancy scares. Explore different options that work best for both you and your husband, taking into consideration any concerns you have regarding hormonal contraception. It's important to prioritize your health and well-being while also being mindful of the potential impact on your sister's household.

If you find it challenging to have a productive conversation on your own, you might consider enlisting the help of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator. They can facilitate communication and help mediate any conflicts that arise during the discussion.

In the long term, it's important to work towards financial independence and stability. Explore opportunities for employment or consider furthering your education to increase your chances of finding work. This will not only help you become more self-sufficient but also alleviate some of the concerns your sister may have about your ability to support yourselves and any future children.

Remember, conflicts within families can be challenging, but it's crucial to approach them with empathy and understanding. By having open and honest conversations, while also demonstrating your commitment to finding solutions and taking responsibility, you can work towards resolving the issues and improving your relationship with your sister.

I hope this advice provides some guidance and support as you navigate this situation. Take care, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a resolution that works for everyone involved.

[JennaB]

It sounds like you and your husband are currently living in your older sister's house, and she pays all the bills. Additionally, you mentioned that you're both unemployed and recently had a pregnancy scare. Your sister became upset with you over this issue and expressed her concerns about your maturity and readiness for a baby. She even went as far as saying that you should not have sex in her house and threatened to kick you out if you don't comply.

Now, let's address your question about whether it's fair for your sister to impose these rules. When it comes to living arrangements, it's important to respect the rules and boundaries set by the homeowner. Since your sister owns the house and is covering all the expenses, she has the right to establish guidelines for behavior within her own home. It may not feel fair to you, especially considering that you're married adults, but it's important to consider the context and the dynamics of the situation.

It seems like your sister may be concerned about the financial strain and potential responsibilities that may come with another baby in the household. From her perspective, she might be worried about the impact it could have on both her own life and the dynamic of the household. While her approach might seem harsh, it's possible that she's trying to protect both you and herself from potential hardships.

Given the circumstances, I would suggest having an open and honest conversation with your sister to address her concerns and find a mutually agreeable solution. It's important to acknowledge her feelings and the valid points she raised. Express your gratitude for her support and acknowledge that you understand her concerns about the financial burden and the impact of another baby in the house.

Take the opportunity to discuss your plans for the future and how you intend to address the financial obligations you owe her. This might help ease her worries and show her that you're taking responsibility for your actions. It's essential to demonstrate that you're actively working towards a solution and are committed to paying her back.

During the conversation, you can also discuss your plans for contraception to prevent any future pregnancy scares. Explore different options that work best for both you and your husband, taking into consideration any concerns you have regarding hormonal contraception. It's important to prioritize your health and well-being while also being mindful of the potential impact on your sister's household.

If you find it challenging to have a productive conversation on your own, you might consider enlisting the help of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator. They can facilitate communication and help mediate any conflicts that arise during the discussion.

In the long term, it's important to work towards financial independence and stability. Explore opportunities for employment or consider furthering your education to increase your chances of finding work. This will not only help you become more self-sufficient but also alleviate some of the concerns your sister may have about your ability to support yourselves and any future children.

Remember, conflicts within families can be challenging, but it's crucial to approach them with empathy and understanding. By having open and honest conversations, while also demonstrating your commitment to finding solutions and taking responsibility, you can work towards resolving the issues and improving your relationship with your sister.

I hope this advice provides some guidance and support as you navigate this situation. Take care, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a resolution that works for everyone involved.

Thank you for the respose and no one else knows the whole situation. Which is why i posted instead of asking a friend. My sister said her reasoing for taking sex away is this is a repeat behavior. She feels it was the only way to avoid a pregnancy we cant handle. I never have her house her rules a thought at all!! I just threw a fit hearing her put a punishment on sex i guess??