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So the long and short of the story is:
- We met on a night out, instant chemistry and the week that followed, we spoke a lot on the phone via whatsapp.
- Met the following week, had a great first date and again, lots of chemistry.
- We spend the next 3 weeks spending a lot of time together, really getting to know each other, both feel excited about being together (or at least that's how it felt!).
- He goes on a business trip for 3.5 weeks, he says he will ask me out when he is back, and we spend every day in touch whilst he is away. I can't wait for him to be back, he comes to see me the very next day.
- I asked about his past relationships, he tells me he broke up with his ex 7 months ago as she had cheated on him twice during their relationship (a drunken kiss both times), I figure maybe that it's too early for him to date, he tells me otherwise (and also shows me otherwise! I'm a 'actions over words' lady)
- I feel it's going quite fast, but I enjoyed the pace (red flag on hindsight!), on month 3, we go on a short break together (I joined him on his trip as he was going for a wedding). We had the most AMAZING time and he tells me that he would like the holiday to be a start of our relationship (I.e official), I say of course and I look forward to starting this journey with you.
When things go wrong:
- I knew he had kept the door open for his ex to contact him, I challenged this at the time and he said he hadn't heard from her for a few months... I brush it under the carpet knowing how he feels about me.
- She drunk called him twice during our courting/relationship, again, he messages her to check in and see if she is ok, he also tells me that he is doing this and asks if I am okay with this. i say you need to set boundaries and let her know you are now in a relationship and it is not ok for her to call you at 4am. He says i'm right and he will do this. He doesn't do *exactly* this, he doesn't tell her in the message that he now has a girlfriend. I feel upset and tell him I am upset by this, we get into a disagreement and tension is a little high.
- The two weeks that followed post-this text, I can sense he's not himself, he's texting less, but he's still seeing me through the week ... I saw his friend on a night out and he told me that my partner had told him that he loved me. I ask him, he says yes of course I do....throughout this whole 'relationship', he's been nothing short of amazing...
- At the end of the two weeks, we meet, and he tells me he doesn't feel that he can emotionally invest in the relationship, that i'm a great catch ...etc etc. I said, if you cannot invest, then you leave me no choice but to leave you? I figured this had something to do with the ex's contact and that maybe this left him confused and needed space. We end 'amicably' (a hug) and we depart.
- The following 18 days is what I would call torture, I wonder how he went from talking about the future, babies, houses, family, to this.
- On day 19, I go out and I bump into him in the bar where we met. He spends the whole evening with me (i was a little tipsy at this point so I don't remember all of the conversation) but he tells me that he's started talking to his ex again, and that they're making a go of it.
I ..am.. devastated.
How could he go back to someone who cheated on him, when we had something so amazing and he had promised so much? Yes... the dreaded truth hit me like a ton of bricks... I was the rebound.
Thereafter, the following day I write an email to him letting him know how his actions had made me feel, that he waited a mere 2-3 weeks after asking ME to be his girlfriend, to jump into a relationship again with his ex. I also ask that he deletes every memory of us and to NEVER contact me again.
I block him on Instagram and delete his number. He blocks me back and blocks me on Whatsapp.
The following day, was a mutual friends engagement drinks where he knew I would be going (or if not me, then my friend was definitely going). Who does he bring as his +1... Yes, the ex.
Can this person hurt me any more? Why would he do this KNOWING that I was potentially going to be there too???? I gave him NOTHING but love during the relationship, and I had both of my feet firmly in the relationship. And he has the audacity to bring his ex-girlfriend along knowing that this information would get back to me? If I hadn't bumped into him the night before, I wouldn't have even known he was making a go with it with his ex-girlfriend, I, like an idiot, was holding onto a little string of hope thinking he just needed some time to himself!!! If I hadn't have bumped into him and went to this party, I would have been confronted with him with his ex...How is this normal behaviour to someone you supposedly 'care' about.
Can anyone really shed light on how someone can be so CRUEL like this?
- We met on a night out, instant chemistry and the week that followed, we spoke a lot on the phone via whatsapp.
- Met the following week, had a great first date and again, lots of chemistry.
- We spend the next 3 weeks spending a lot of time together, really getting to know each other, both feel excited about being together (or at least that's how it felt!).
- He goes on a business trip for 3.5 weeks, he says he will ask me out when he is back, and we spend every day in touch whilst he is away. I can't wait for him to be back, he comes to see me the very next day.
- I asked about his past relationships, he tells me he broke up with his ex 7 months ago as she had cheated on him twice during their relationship (a drunken kiss both times), I figure maybe that it's too early for him to date, he tells me otherwise (and also shows me otherwise! I'm a 'actions over words' lady)
- I feel it's going quite fast, but I enjoyed the pace (red flag on hindsight!), on month 3, we go on a short break together (I joined him on his trip as he was going for a wedding). We had the most AMAZING time and he tells me that he would like the holiday to be a start of our relationship (I.e official), I say of course and I look forward to starting this journey with you.
When things go wrong:
- I knew he had kept the door open for his ex to contact him, I challenged this at the time and he said he hadn't heard from her for a few months... I brush it under the carpet knowing how he feels about me.
- She drunk called him twice during our courting/relationship, again, he messages her to check in and see if she is ok, he also tells me that he is doing this and asks if I am okay with this. i say you need to set boundaries and let her know you are now in a relationship and it is not ok for her to call you at 4am. He says i'm right and he will do this. He doesn't do *exactly* this, he doesn't tell her in the message that he now has a girlfriend. I feel upset and tell him I am upset by this, we get into a disagreement and tension is a little high.
- The two weeks that followed post-this text, I can sense he's not himself, he's texting less, but he's still seeing me through the week ... I saw his friend on a night out and he told me that my partner had told him that he loved me. I ask him, he says yes of course I do....throughout this whole 'relationship', he's been nothing short of amazing...
- At the end of the two weeks, we meet, and he tells me he doesn't feel that he can emotionally invest in the relationship, that i'm a great catch ...etc etc. I said, if you cannot invest, then you leave me no choice but to leave you? I figured this had something to do with the ex's contact and that maybe this left him confused and needed space. We end 'amicably' (a hug) and we depart.
- The following 18 days is what I would call torture, I wonder how he went from talking about the future, babies, houses, family, to this.
- On day 19, I go out and I bump into him in the bar where we met. He spends the whole evening with me (i was a little tipsy at this point so I don't remember all of the conversation) but he tells me that he's started talking to his ex again, and that they're making a go of it.
I ..am.. devastated.
How could he go back to someone who cheated on him, when we had something so amazing and he had promised so much? Yes... the dreaded truth hit me like a ton of bricks... I was the rebound.
Thereafter, the following day I write an email to him letting him know how his actions had made me feel, that he waited a mere 2-3 weeks after asking ME to be his girlfriend, to jump into a relationship again with his ex. I also ask that he deletes every memory of us and to NEVER contact me again.
I block him on Instagram and delete his number. He blocks me back and blocks me on Whatsapp.
The following day, was a mutual friends engagement drinks where he knew I would be going (or if not me, then my friend was definitely going). Who does he bring as his +1... Yes, the ex.
Can this person hurt me any more? Why would he do this KNOWING that I was potentially going to be there too???? I gave him NOTHING but love during the relationship, and I had both of my feet firmly in the relationship. And he has the audacity to bring his ex-girlfriend along knowing that this information would get back to me? If I hadn't bumped into him the night before, I wouldn't have even known he was making a go with it with his ex-girlfriend, I, like an idiot, was holding onto a little string of hope thinking he just needed some time to himself!!! If I hadn't have bumped into him and went to this party, I would have been confronted with him with his ex...How is this normal behaviour to someone you supposedly 'care' about.
Can anyone really shed light on how someone can be so CRUEL like this?
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