Hey guys, I don’t really know where or who to ask this so I thought maybe I’ll get peoples opinion on this…
I work at a cafe in a mall, as a cashier during the weekends. I take orders and then send the customers to the side for them to pick up their order. I don't have much time to really converse with the customers. Anyways, there is this girl I've seen quite a bit, who comes in as a regular customer. She works in the mall as well; to my knowledge it seems that she works in two different jobs at the mall. I really want to talk to her and possibly become more than just friends. However, I get super anxious/nervous, I can't even look at her in the eyes properly, my breathing become short breaths, I become tense, my voice becomes super quiet and I just want to run away! I am not really a social person, I talk to a psychotherapist about this and she told me that I have social anxiety. Oh, one thing I guess I should mention is that I have depression and I am taking medication. I always fantasize about this "dream girlfriend" who I spend time with, and I just feel so down when I think about how I will never find anyone and how other people in relationships are doing. Anyways, back to the girl, I've told myself countless times throughout the weekdays that I will talk to her once and for all. When it is time to take her order, I become nervous and puss out. I make excuses for myself saying, "Oh, she came in with a friend today, I can't really have a nice conversation to get to know her." or "Oh, I don't want her to feel awkward around me and scare her away, so I won't say anything." Or “She is out of my league.” To be honest, I think about this girl a lot, and I know I shouldn't! Sometimes, even I get annoyed by it because it distracts me from doing things. I am not as athletic or built as some guys. I don’t consider myself to be good looking. I don’t really socialize much and I feel like people won’t be able to connect with me since my interests may seem weird (I play a lot of games, watch shows and listen to non mainstream music). I don’t know… I just want to be able to talk to her. I think the reason why I am being held back is that I am afraid of being rejected and dealing with that emotional pain afterwards. Then I will have the thought that no one would love me. How can I talk to this girl with confidence, and ask her out?
Sincerely,
Lover Boy
PS: I am 21 and the girl I am interested in is 1 or 2 years older than me…. If that makes a difference….
I work at a cafe in a mall, as a cashier during the weekends. I take orders and then send the customers to the side for them to pick up their order. I don't have much time to really converse with the customers. Anyways, there is this girl I've seen quite a bit, who comes in as a regular customer. She works in the mall as well; to my knowledge it seems that she works in two different jobs at the mall. I really want to talk to her and possibly become more than just friends. However, I get super anxious/nervous, I can't even look at her in the eyes properly, my breathing become short breaths, I become tense, my voice becomes super quiet and I just want to run away! I am not really a social person, I talk to a psychotherapist about this and she told me that I have social anxiety. Oh, one thing I guess I should mention is that I have depression and I am taking medication. I always fantasize about this "dream girlfriend" who I spend time with, and I just feel so down when I think about how I will never find anyone and how other people in relationships are doing. Anyways, back to the girl, I've told myself countless times throughout the weekdays that I will talk to her once and for all. When it is time to take her order, I become nervous and puss out. I make excuses for myself saying, "Oh, she came in with a friend today, I can't really have a nice conversation to get to know her." or "Oh, I don't want her to feel awkward around me and scare her away, so I won't say anything." Or “She is out of my league.” To be honest, I think about this girl a lot, and I know I shouldn't! Sometimes, even I get annoyed by it because it distracts me from doing things. I am not as athletic or built as some guys. I don’t consider myself to be good looking. I don’t really socialize much and I feel like people won’t be able to connect with me since my interests may seem weird (I play a lot of games, watch shows and listen to non mainstream music). I don’t know… I just want to be able to talk to her. I think the reason why I am being held back is that I am afraid of being rejected and dealing with that emotional pain afterwards. Then I will have the thought that no one would love me. How can I talk to this girl with confidence, and ask her out?
Sincerely,
Lover Boy
PS: I am 21 and the girl I am interested in is 1 or 2 years older than me…. If that makes a difference….
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