Hello everybody and thanks for giving your time in whatever regard you gave it...
There's more i'd like to say but I'll try to make this brief because i could really use somebody to comment and maybe help me feel like... just any opinions are welcome, thanks.
I have a good paying typical office job that we could live off of alone if we so choose (it's 60K per year)...nothing spectacular but still good enough (i think). have a house, 2 cars that are paid off and a dog and wife i love more than anything i could ever love. I've been married to my wife for 7 years. We're now seeing a therapist because, after my wife recently saying she wanted a divorce, i was able to convince her to see one with me first. Which, has been the only thing in our 7 years of marriage i was able to convince her to do. I'm not being dramatic, it really, is the only thing. We don't have children. My wife and i both have said the other has narcissistic personality disorder. And the therapist we see has ruled me out but suggested individual sessions with my wife to explore this further with her. There is nothing i won't do for my wife and there is nothing my wife will do for me. She makes dinner each night out of routine but that's all. I don't care about her doing anything like that anyway, it's doens't mean anything to me and i think marriage isn't about that stuff. I think it's about each person living for their spouse and making them happy. Because, i think, when you get married, you give up yourself for the other person in a way. I'm not saying that you don't do things for yourself. Not that at all. I just feel that you have an obligation in a way to take care of your spouse that is a show of love, more than anything else. If you were to ask me "what would you do for your wife", i could genuinely say "anything". If you asked her the same, she would probably smirk, and say "i don't know". Then give her a few scenarios and she's just say "well, i'd do this this and that if they happened on Monday when i was free or Wednesday and fell in line with my other plans". From our sex lives, all the way through our lifelong dreams and theories of the afterlife...it's because very apparent to me that, we're just different. For example. We've have some land behind our house and over the past year or so i've been working down there because i wanted to get a deer and let my dad show me how to properly butcher it. One thing led to another and i ended up making a zip line. I've been wanting to show my wife but she'll never go because i did this at a time she felt i was doing it to "be away from her". But she also says that about the times i, redid a boat and sold it for 11K profit, remodeled our: bathroom, shed, garage, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, game room and landscaping around the house. These things needed done so i killed myself to do them and asked for her help all of the time. When she'd comment "but like, i don't know what to do" i'd say "just be around", all i wanted was her to be around. I'd do anything for her in bed and do. She wont' even give me a half-hearted hand job on my best day and don't mention oral sex, that'll get you shot. I'll work a 15 hour day, come home and just start working on things that need done or as of late (sadly, life and lies have contributed to me not beign the best in this area as i'd like) ask her to go for a walk, go out, or just do something, her and I.
Sorry, back to the zipline point i was trying to make. I really want to show her what i made (a lot, if you could see it, you'd understand, was with her in mind) but she won't go and see it because the time spent to do it was me just workign on it to avoid her. that's what she says. but it never was. I never thought about getting away from her for any reason, it was the exact opposite but okay. her stubbornness/selfishness is so strong that she said that she'd want a divorce before going to see the zipline because the "emotions that would be brought up would be so hard for her to take knowing that this was made during a time that she believes i was working on it just to be away from her".
I've never taken a stand with her in my life, she gets her way, all of the time every time...except for this time. I put my foot down and pretty much said "this stupid thing means a lot to me and i'd like to show you" so no. Which then lead to her saying that It basically comes down to this. Either I never bring up the zipline thing again and get rid of all evidence it ever existed, erase it completely from my memory and move on. OR, get a divorce. If she doesn't get her way in this regard, she'll divorce me. Are all women like this? I've been with more than my share, sexually speaking as well as those i've had longer relationships with but i'm lost. I literally wake up and eat drink and breathe this lady but she lies to me, talks shit on me to her best friend, has told her parents things I've said after we've been arguing and were mad at each other. Which is the worst i've ever done, was called her names, that i'm embarrassed by and never should have. She has basically bankrupted us, had our house foreclosed on, and maxed out everything we have...all the while buying items of vanity for herself. I just cant' believe that a woman can see that somebody has given up everything for her, will do anything for her, loves her unconditionally and then just push em aside like she got what she wanted and now wants to move on. Will it always be like this or are there women who will care to make sure their husband is happy? Sorry, that sounded bad. Will it always be like this or are there women who will actually care about their husbands wants, needs, desires or care about what bothers him?
I guess what i'm really trying to ask in this rambling mess is...is my wife saying she'll chose to divorce me if the other option is for me to show her something i that means a lot to me and was made with no i'll intent, justified for her? I just always though that if you give somebody your everything they will do so for you and i'm really just sad i guess. I thought i meant more to her than some stupid zipline and feel like i was used by her. Just wonder why she can pick divorce over something that actually means a lot to me. Why do people do these things? i'm just curios because i'd do anything for her, i really love her but how is it she can so easily choose to get rid of me as opposed to simply seeing what i made? I just really would like somebody to help me understand what's wrong with me? Please, i know i sound pathetic, i know this, i really don't need to hear that right now so please try avoiding kicking me while i'm down.
There's more i'd like to say but I'll try to make this brief because i could really use somebody to comment and maybe help me feel like... just any opinions are welcome, thanks.
I have a good paying typical office job that we could live off of alone if we so choose (it's 60K per year)...nothing spectacular but still good enough (i think). have a house, 2 cars that are paid off and a dog and wife i love more than anything i could ever love. I've been married to my wife for 7 years. We're now seeing a therapist because, after my wife recently saying she wanted a divorce, i was able to convince her to see one with me first. Which, has been the only thing in our 7 years of marriage i was able to convince her to do. I'm not being dramatic, it really, is the only thing. We don't have children. My wife and i both have said the other has narcissistic personality disorder. And the therapist we see has ruled me out but suggested individual sessions with my wife to explore this further with her. There is nothing i won't do for my wife and there is nothing my wife will do for me. She makes dinner each night out of routine but that's all. I don't care about her doing anything like that anyway, it's doens't mean anything to me and i think marriage isn't about that stuff. I think it's about each person living for their spouse and making them happy. Because, i think, when you get married, you give up yourself for the other person in a way. I'm not saying that you don't do things for yourself. Not that at all. I just feel that you have an obligation in a way to take care of your spouse that is a show of love, more than anything else. If you were to ask me "what would you do for your wife", i could genuinely say "anything". If you asked her the same, she would probably smirk, and say "i don't know". Then give her a few scenarios and she's just say "well, i'd do this this and that if they happened on Monday when i was free or Wednesday and fell in line with my other plans". From our sex lives, all the way through our lifelong dreams and theories of the afterlife...it's because very apparent to me that, we're just different. For example. We've have some land behind our house and over the past year or so i've been working down there because i wanted to get a deer and let my dad show me how to properly butcher it. One thing led to another and i ended up making a zip line. I've been wanting to show my wife but she'll never go because i did this at a time she felt i was doing it to "be away from her". But she also says that about the times i, redid a boat and sold it for 11K profit, remodeled our: bathroom, shed, garage, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, game room and landscaping around the house. These things needed done so i killed myself to do them and asked for her help all of the time. When she'd comment "but like, i don't know what to do" i'd say "just be around", all i wanted was her to be around. I'd do anything for her in bed and do. She wont' even give me a half-hearted hand job on my best day and don't mention oral sex, that'll get you shot. I'll work a 15 hour day, come home and just start working on things that need done or as of late (sadly, life and lies have contributed to me not beign the best in this area as i'd like) ask her to go for a walk, go out, or just do something, her and I.
Sorry, back to the zipline point i was trying to make. I really want to show her what i made (a lot, if you could see it, you'd understand, was with her in mind) but she won't go and see it because the time spent to do it was me just workign on it to avoid her. that's what she says. but it never was. I never thought about getting away from her for any reason, it was the exact opposite but okay. her stubbornness/selfishness is so strong that she said that she'd want a divorce before going to see the zipline because the "emotions that would be brought up would be so hard for her to take knowing that this was made during a time that she believes i was working on it just to be away from her".
I've never taken a stand with her in my life, she gets her way, all of the time every time...except for this time. I put my foot down and pretty much said "this stupid thing means a lot to me and i'd like to show you" so no. Which then lead to her saying that It basically comes down to this. Either I never bring up the zipline thing again and get rid of all evidence it ever existed, erase it completely from my memory and move on. OR, get a divorce. If she doesn't get her way in this regard, she'll divorce me. Are all women like this? I've been with more than my share, sexually speaking as well as those i've had longer relationships with but i'm lost. I literally wake up and eat drink and breathe this lady but she lies to me, talks shit on me to her best friend, has told her parents things I've said after we've been arguing and were mad at each other. Which is the worst i've ever done, was called her names, that i'm embarrassed by and never should have. She has basically bankrupted us, had our house foreclosed on, and maxed out everything we have...all the while buying items of vanity for herself. I just cant' believe that a woman can see that somebody has given up everything for her, will do anything for her, loves her unconditionally and then just push em aside like she got what she wanted and now wants to move on. Will it always be like this or are there women who will care to make sure their husband is happy? Sorry, that sounded bad. Will it always be like this or are there women who will actually care about their husbands wants, needs, desires or care about what bothers him?
I guess what i'm really trying to ask in this rambling mess is...is my wife saying she'll chose to divorce me if the other option is for me to show her something i that means a lot to me and was made with no i'll intent, justified for her? I just always though that if you give somebody your everything they will do so for you and i'm really just sad i guess. I thought i meant more to her than some stupid zipline and feel like i was used by her. Just wonder why she can pick divorce over something that actually means a lot to me. Why do people do these things? i'm just curios because i'd do anything for her, i really love her but how is it she can so easily choose to get rid of me as opposed to simply seeing what i made? I just really would like somebody to help me understand what's wrong with me? Please, i know i sound pathetic, i know this, i really don't need to hear that right now so please try avoiding kicking me while i'm down.
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