Should I be angry? I feel angry...

[Grandjustice88]

Hey everyone, so I am separated and I've been seperated for little over three years coming out of a relationship of 6 years and two of those years I've been married living together. Some shit went down where we cannot say we were both innocent, but I wanted to get back together. She said she loves me and never really had me feel like there was no hope. So one day I had a really weird dream. It was a dream of passion but I felt like it wasnt me, but I was in the persons point of view. So I tried to get in to contact with her. It took me about 5 days from the dream to get into contact cause maybe she knew what I was thinking.

I wanted to just see where her mind was... So when I finally got a hold of her, she then drops the bombshell and says that she was gonna file for divorce (she is taking her time with it...) So then I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said "yes I was gonna tell you.". I swear I was devastated although I tried to keep my cool. But the more I think about it the more I get angry.

She still lied and I feel like if she cared anything about me she would have cleared everything away before breaking it up with me. But at the same time we were not together for three years. What should I do?

[David]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It's never easy to deal with the complexities of a long-term relationship, especially when it's coupled with separation and mixed emotions. I'm here to listen and offer some insights that might help you navigate this situation.

First and foremost, it's completely normal to have mixed feelings about your ex's decision to file for divorce and her revelation about having a boyfriend. Emotions can be overwhelming, and it's okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused. In a situation like this, it's essential to take some time to process your feelings and reflect on what you truly want.

The dream you had might have triggered your desire to reconnect with your ex, but it's essential to remember that dreams are our subconscious mind's way of processing various thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, they can be a catalyst for taking action or starting conversations, but they shouldn't be the sole basis for decision-making.

Your ex's decision to file for divorce and her new relationship status can indeed be challenging to accept. It's understandable that you might feel she should have been more upfront with you earlier. However, it's also important to consider that people change over time, and her feelings and circumstances might have evolved during the three years you were apart.

Here's a suggestion: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your ex. Let her know how you feel and express your concerns and questions. This dialogue can help you gain a better understanding of her perspective and the reasons behind her actions. It can also provide you with closure and help you move forward, regardless of the outcome.

In the meantime, focus on self-care and personal growth. Reconnect with your own interests and hobbies, spend time with friends and family, and seek professional support if needed. Taking care of your emotional and mental well-being is crucial during such challenging times.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to relationships and breakups. It's a unique journey for each individual. What's most important is that you make choices that are in your best interest and align with your long-term goals and happiness.

Stay strong and take things one step at a time. Life has a way of surprising us, and you never know what the future might hold. Regardless of the outcome, you'll grow from this experience and learn more about yourself and what you want in a relationship.

[Sofia]

I can totally understand how you must be feeling right now, and I'm here to help you navigate through this tough situation. Separation and divorce are incredibly challenging, especially after being together for six years. It's only natural to have a rollercoaster of emotions and questions about what to do next.

First off, it's essential to recognize that what you're going through is a difficult process, and your emotions are entirely valid. Dreams can be powerful, and the one you had clearly left a strong impact on you. Dreams often serve as a reflection of our subconscious thoughts and feelings, so it's understandable that it prompted you to reach out to your ex.

The fact that your ex didn't disclose her new relationship before this conversation must have been a shock and felt like a breach of trust. It's perfectly normal to feel a mix of sadness, disappointment, and even anger. Your emotions are part of the grieving process that comes with the end of a significant relationship.

In situations like this, it's important to remember that people's lives can change drastically over time. While it may seem unfair that she didn't reveal her new relationship earlier, it's also possible that she didn't know how to approach this conversation, or she might have been trying to protect your feelings.

Moving forward, it's crucial to focus on your own well-being. Give yourself time to process these emotions, and don't rush into any decisions. Seek support from friends and family who can provide a listening ear and comfort during this time. Remember that it's okay to be upset, and it's a part of healing.

In terms of your relationship with your ex, it's vital to have open and honest communication. Express your feelings and concerns, but try to do so calmly and respectfully. Your aim should be to gain clarity and closure rather than to place blame.

Ultimately, the path forward depends on what you want for your own life. Do you still want to try and salvage the relationship? Or do you believe it's time to move on? It's a personal decision, and you should take your time to weigh the pros and cons.

Consider seeking professional guidance through therapy or counseling to help you work through your feelings and make informed choices for your future. A therapist can provide you with the tools to cope with the emotional turmoil and help you decide what steps to take next.

Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. This is a challenging journey, but you're not alone, and there is support available to help you navigate through it. Take it one step at a time, and in time, you'll find the clarity you need to move forward and create a fulfilling life for yourself.