I need to relax, right?

[Ilovecats449]

Hello everyone
so me and my boyfriend (29 and 31) have been together for about a year now. But have known eachother for coming on 5. So there is some definite history.

Everything for the most part is great. We really get along well and are compatible. I feel very safe with him.

The issue a bit is our schedules. We work kinda opposite. Which is a little hard. We still see eachother about 2x a week but its work to make it happen with our individual lives.

So, recently he suggested we should move in together. Which i think is a good idea. BUT I am scared. I've lived alone for the last 5 years, and the last time I lived with a partner, it was bad. Like, one of the worst things to happen to me bad.

Granted, I know this situation is not CLOSE to the same. But I'm still trying to calm myself down.

On top of that, he said maybe buying a house. Which again, I think is a good investment. And also I do love him very much and am so happy he is seeing that kind of commitment for us.

Also he is clean, cooks, has a job, is responsible and a competent adult. Which is a non negotiable for me.

This move likely wont be for 6 ish more months. So I have time to sit on it.

So, any tips on how to be okay with giving up my little saftey buffer of living alone?

[Bettyyyy]

It totally makes sense that you’re feeling anxious even when everything seems right, big changes like moving in together can bring up old fears. Especially after living alone for 5 years and having a really bad past experience, it’s natural to want to protect your peace and independence.

The good thing is, you’re self-aware, the relationship sounds healthy, and you still have time. Maybe use these next few months to talk openly about boundaries, daily habits, personal space, and what you both need to feel secure living together. You could also try short “trial runs” (like spending a full week together) just to get a feel for what everyday life might look like.

You’re not overreacting. You’re just trying to be thoughtful before taking a big step and that’s a good thing.