I Am Engaged but I've Been Thinking about My Ex So Much Lately

[Ella]

I am engaged. I have just started a new job and don't like it for numerous reasons.

I'm feeling very uncertain about this job and it's causing me to feel insecure within myself. Unfortunately, it's also making me feel like rushing back to my ex who I was with for 15 yrs. I've been thinking about him so much lately, a yearning is growing within me to go back. I feel a need to return and nurture him that way I used to. He's always been very kind to me.

I thought I wasn't in love with him, that's why I left.... 2 yrs ago.

He's still waiting for me.

I thought I had such a beautiful thing going with my current fiancé.

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Strange how being upset about my new job has made me want to go back to my ex.

HELP!!! I'm open to any wisdom that's on offer.

[Rachael]

Exactly - being upset about your new job is making you want to go back to your ex.

The way you feel about your new job is a lot like how you're feeling right now about your commitment to your fiancé.

But you left your ex and broke away from him, because you felt you weren't in love with him.

Right now you're feeling the same way about your fiancé - and you're tempted to resume things with your ex.

But you were with your ex for 15 years. It's been over for 2. You've moved on. And now you're facing a big commitment.

You fell in love with your fiancé and decided to marry him. Very big decision. Scary. But maybe it's right.

You said, "I feel a need to return and nurture him the way I used to. He's always been very kind to me."

That's not what you really want to do, is it? It's just really reacting to the fear. It's easy to idealize something you've been away from for so long.

I don't think you'd be happy if you went back into an old situation like that.

The big question is, what happens now with the man you're engaged to? I think the yearning is your mind or heart's way of distracting you from this relationship.

Time will help you know. Are you just scared, or is it something else? I think you have a lot of insight already into your feelings by your awareness of your inner struggle that's going on right now in these 2 major parts of your life - job and relationship. xoxo

[Nate]

You think about your ex all the time, and you want to get them back, because you cannot ever get them off of your mind! Now, think about this for a minute, all you ever think about is your ex?

What if there was a way to make your ex think about you, in the same way? Well, there is, and all you have to do, is use a few subconscious psychological tricks to get your ex to think about you all the time. Read on to find out how you can get your ex back....

Subliminal messaging -

Subliminal messaging is one easy way to make your ex subconsciously want to think about you all of the time. The subconscious is NOT controlled by your ex, and in fact it is the part of your mind that you have no control over. But it can be influenced with the right techniques, and once something goes into the subconscious, it will always circulate around, causing one to feel a certain emotion constantly.

It is the reason why you can feel in love and really happy for a long time, and it is the same reason why you can also feel depressed all the time. Those thoughts float around and then are interpreted into your actions and feelings. Likewise, you want your ex to start feeling for you again, and missing you.

The first step - The first way to get your ex to think about you all the time, is to appear to have moved on. Once you do this, your ex will instantly be thinking that you have forgotten them. This subconsciously sends your ex the message and feeling of abandonment and fear of loss. Your ex will fear losing you, and this will begin to circulate around in your ex's mind.

The second step - If your ex were to believe that you are dating again, he/she would instantly have old feelings revived. Your ex once had you, and you two were for each other. You were not with other people, but should your ex think that you ARE with other people, he/she will suddenly subconsciously think that they should get you back.

You see, a chain reaction starts, once they find out you are dating again, because your ex will feel jealous and envious almost instantly. This is because they will link you as being their prize possession from before, and coupled with the fear of loss, your ex will not be able to help but think about you all the time now.

To make your ex think that you are dating again, all you have to do is simply send your ex a fake text, making it look like it was meant for someone else.

What happens now -

These thoughts will turn into action, as your ex will try to expel them. In order to expel the feeling your ex now has, his mind will command him to seek answers and attention once again from you. This is just a natural human nature, to seek approval from someone, when we believe their standards are higher than ours.

We learn this from a very early age, such as childhood, where we want to be accepted by our parents, teachers and friends. Likewise, if we feel as if they are not accepting us, we act out, much like how children get jealous of their siblings when a parent praises one or gives attention to one more than the other.

This works the same way for your ex, where he/she will want to have your approval again, and will become jealous that you are dating again. In the end, your ex will try and get you back, as these messages and feelings circulate and worsen for your ex, so much so that the only way to become satisfied again, would be to get you back.

[Ella]

Thank you so much for all the advice...