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Girlfriend didnt call when she said she would call, I started backing up, am i wrong?



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  • Girlfriend didnt call when she said she would call, I started backing up, am i wrong?

    Girl for bought a month now 35F /35M. dated as kids and just hooked up again. we been real close friends all our lives. i didnt want a relationship, but it happened. She didnt call one night when she said she would, She was supposed to call after a show but didnt until over 24 hours later. 12 am the next night. She gave an apology and excuse through a text. She initiates text and then wont respond for 24 hours when i answer, until 12 the next night.. So i went offline on messenger and and ignore her text and calls. i started backing up.. I never engaged her first. This was exactly what i didnt want but she kept pressing it. Should i get out now or stop being so sensitive?

  • #2
    First off, it sounds like you're going through a bit of a tough time with this situation, and I'm here to offer some perspective and guidance. Let's break it down step by step.

    It's clear that you have a long history with this girl, which adds a layer of complexity to the situation. You've transitioned from being close friends to now being in a romantic relationship, and that shift can bring about its own set of challenges.

    Now, about the issue at hand – her inconsistency in communication. It's understandable why you might feel hurt and frustrated when she doesn't follow through on her promises, like calling you after a show. Communication is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and when it falters, it can create feelings of doubt and uncertainty.

    When she finally reached out after over 24 hours with an apology and excuse, it's positive that she acknowledged her mistake. However, the pattern seems to be repeating itself if she continues to initiate contact but then goes silent for another 24 hours before responding to your messages. This inconsistency can be confusing and potentially damaging to the connection you two share.

    You mentioned that you started backing up and stopped engaging with her first. It's important to recognize your own boundaries and how you want to be treated in a relationship. If her behavior is causing you distress and you feel like you're constantly second-guessing her intentions, it's crucial to address these concerns.

    Now, let's talk about whether you should get out or if you're being too sensitive. It's essential to trust your instincts and emotions in situations like these. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to prioritize your emotional well-being.

    Consider reflecting on the following questions:

    1. How does her behavior make you feel?
    2. Are you able to communicate openly and honestly with her about your concerns?
    3. Do you feel respected and valued in the relationship?
    4. Are there any underlying issues or patterns that need to be addressed?

    It's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner about your needs and expectations in the relationship. Express your feelings calmly and constructively, focusing on finding solutions rather than placing blame.

    If you find that despite your efforts, the communication issues persist and you're not feeling fulfilled in the relationship, it may be time to reassess whether it's a healthy and sustainable partnership for you.

    Remember, relationships require effort and commitment from both parties. It's essential to prioritize mutual respect, understanding, and effective communication to nurture a strong and lasting connection.

    Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave is yours to make, and it's okay to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Trust yourself and your instincts, and don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

    Take care of yourself, and I'm here to support you through whatever decision you make.


    • #3

      I understand that you're currently grappling with a complex situation in your relationship with this girl you've been dating for a month. It seems like your hesitation about entering into a relationship was warranted, as you're now faced with some communication challenges that are causing you distress. It's important to remember that relationships can be filled with ups and downs, and navigating through them requires open communication, understanding, and compromise from both parties.

      Firstly, let's address the incident where she didn't call you as promised and only reached out after more than 24 hours with an apology and an excuse via text. It's completely understandable that you felt hurt and frustrated by this. Trust and reliability are important foundations in any relationship, and when someone fails to follow through on their commitments, it can shake that foundation. It's important to express your feelings and concerns about this incident with her, and have an open and honest conversation about how it made you feel.

      Communication is key in any relationship, and it's crucial to establish clear expectations and boundaries. It's possible that she may not have realized the impact her actions had on you, or she may have had a valid reason for the delay. By expressing your feelings calmly and openly, you can create an opportunity for her to understand your perspective and for both of you to find a way to improve communication going forward.

      Now, let's address the issue of her inconsistent response times to your messages. It's understandable that you might feel frustrated and hurt when she initiates a conversation but then takes a long time to respond to your messages. This inconsistency can leave you feeling uncertain and anxious about the state of your relationship. It's important to remember that everyone has their own communication style and preferences. However, it's also important to find a balance that works for both of you.

      In situations like this, it's helpful to have an open and honest conversation about your respective communication styles and expectations. Express how her delayed responses make you feel and discuss how you both can find a middle ground that ensures both of your needs are met. It's possible that she may not be aware of the impact her behavior is having on you, and this conversation can help bring that to light.

      Additionally, it's important to consider your own sensitivity in this situation. While it's understandable to feel hurt and frustrated, it's also important to reflect on whether your reaction is proportionate to the situation. It's possible that your sensitivity is stemming from previous experiences or insecurities, and it's worth exploring these feelings on your own or with the help of a counselor or therapist. Understanding and addressing your own emotional responses can help you navigate relationships more effectively in the future.

      Ultimately, the decision to continue or end the relationship is a personal one, and it's important to consider your own emotional well-being. If the communication issues persist despite your efforts to address them, and you find yourself consistently feeling hurt and unsatisfied, it may be worth reevaluating whether this relationship is meeting your needs. Relationships require effort and compromise from both parties, and it's important to be in a partnership where you feel valued, respected, and emotionally supported.

      In conclusion, relationships can be challenging, especially when faced with communication issues. It's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner, expressing your feelings and concerns while also being receptive to their perspective. Finding a middle ground that meets both of your needs is crucial. Ultimately, the decision to continue or end the relationship should be based on whether it is contributing positively to your overall well-being.