I need some help and advice

[CMS0101]

Hi all, I'm new to this forum and need some advice regarding an issue I am currently facing. I am currently engaged and have been with my partner for 2 years. We very recently had an argument where my partner says I don't say good things about him to other people when he is around. I have said many good things about him to other people, but he is so hung up on me doing so when in his presence and he wanted to know why so, but was very angry about it. I didn't have a reason really, and because of that, he feels that I treat him like sh** , never hearing me say good things about him, but he is always hearing other people say good things about their partner. Is this something anyone can relate to or explain if this is normal?

[Emily]

These not something you should be scared or weird about
you can drop your contact I tell you want to do trust me it's gonna be fine

[Elliot]

Hello and welcome to the forum! It's not uncommon for couples to face challenges in communication, and it seems like you're experiencing a specific issue with expressing positive sentiments about your partner when they're present. Let's explore this situation and try to find some understanding and solutions.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that communication in relationships can be complex, and different individuals have varying expectations and needs. Your partner's concern about not hearing positive things about himself in your presence is a valid emotional need. People often seek affirmation and appreciation from their significant others, and your partner might be feeling a bit insecure or unappreciated.

When addressing this issue, it's helpful to approach the conversation with empathy and an open mind. Try to understand your partner's perspective and emotions without immediately becoming defensive. It's not about blaming or accusing; it's about finding a resolution that makes both of you feel valued and understood.

Reflect on your own communication patterns. Sometimes, we may not be aware of the messages we're sending or the impact they have on our partners. Consider whether there might be unintentional signals or behaviors that contribute to your partner's feelings. Open communication and self-reflection are crucial components of resolving such matters.

During your conversation, you can express that you genuinely care about your partner's feelings and want to work together to improve your relationship. Assure them that your intention is not to make them feel unappreciated or unloved. Share your own feelings and thoughts about the situation, creating a space for an open and honest dialogue.

It's also okay if you don't have a clear reason for not expressing positive sentiments in your partner's presence. Sometimes, our actions are driven by subconscious habits or patterns. Exploring these aspects together can lead to a deeper understanding of each other and the dynamics in your relationship.

Consider incorporating positive affirmations into your daily interactions. Small gestures and compliments can go a long way in reinforcing your love and appreciation for each other. Be sincere and specific in your praises, highlighting the qualities and actions you genuinely admire.

Additionally, if you find it challenging to express positive sentiments verbally, explore alternative ways to show appreciation. It could be through thoughtful gestures, surprises, or written notes. The key is to make your partner feel valued and cherished in a way that aligns with both of your communication styles.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. What matters most is the willingness to understand each other's needs and actively work towards creating a supportive and loving environment. If the issue persists or becomes more complex, seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor can provide valuable insights and tools for improvement.

In conclusion, addressing communication challenges requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to fostering a healthy connection. By engaging in open and honest dialogue, exploring each other's perspectives, and incorporating positive affirmations into your daily interactions, you can work towards building a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.

[Gloria]

Firstly, welcome to the forum. It's a space where people can share experiences, seek advice, and find support. I understand that you're going through a challenging situation with your partner, and it's great that you're seeking advice and insights. Relationships can be complex, and communication is often at the heart of many issues.

It's not uncommon for couples to face challenges related to communication, and it seems like you're navigating one of those moments. Your partner expressed feeling hurt because he believes you don't say positive things about him when he's present. It's important to recognize that communication styles and expectations can vary widely among individuals, and what might be meaningful for one person may not hold the same weight for another.

In any relationship, expressing affection, admiration, and appreciation is crucial for maintaining a healthy emotional connection. Your partner's concern about not hearing positive things about himself when he's around is valid, as it can impact his self-esteem and sense of being valued in the relationship.

Now, let's delve into why this might be happening and explore ways to address it constructively.

Firstly, reflect on your communication habits. It's possible that in the flow of daily life, you might not be expressing your admiration as explicitly as your partner desires. This doesn't mean you don't appreciate him; it could be a difference in how you both perceive and express love. Understanding each other's love languages can be incredibly beneficial in this regard.

Love languages refer to the ways individuals give and receive love. They include acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and receiving gifts. In your case, it seems like words of affirmation are crucial for your partner. Consider having an open conversation about your respective love languages and how you can both meet each other's emotional needs.

Next, try to identify any barriers that might be preventing you from expressing positive sentiments about your partner when he's around. It could be a habit, a fear of vulnerability, or even a misunderstanding. Honest self-reflection is key in understanding your own behaviors and making positive changes.

During your conversation with your partner, acknowledge his feelings and express your willingness to work on this aspect of your relationship. It's important to convey that your intentions are not to hurt him but to find ways to enhance your connection. Mutual understanding and support are fundamental in overcoming relationship challenges.

Remember that building a strong and healthy relationship is an ongoing process that requires effort and communication from both parties. Encourage open dialogue, active listening, and a willingness to grow together.

In conclusion, it's not uncommon for couples to face challenges related to communication, and your situation is an opportunity for growth. By understanding each other's love languages, reflecting on communication habits, and fostering open dialogue, you can work towards a more connected and fulfilling relationship.

Best of luck on your journey, and feel free to seek further advice and support here.