My 21(m) gf 22(f) talk about unusual circumstance. Unsure what to think/do..

[Jwindwalk123]

Long story. I am a 21 y/o m and she is a 22 y/o f. Both in our last year of college, together for about 1.5 years and it has been amazong. We are very different people however, she is the type that has wanted kids even when she was a kid, I am the type who wants to live a little life before settling

Her mother adopted a couple of children when she was a teenager who she was raised with as her brother and sister whom she loves immensely, I love them immensely too. Just as a little background :/.

We have reached an impasse, the biological mother of her adopted sister has given birth to a new child, and her and her mother are unsure of what to do because her mother was given the choice to foster her.

She asked me how I would feel If we took on the new child rather than her mother... I am confident I do not want a child at 21 and I have told her this. It made her angry and sad. Still 5 months out from graduating college, have 0$ to my name.. and to be honest have not really experienced all that I want to in life so far..

I understand her desire and frustration.. to her this new child is her little sister and I understand this..

I asked her what she was thinking after I told her that I wasn't ready for such a large committment so early in life and that if it came down to this decision, she stated she would choose adopting her sister over our relationship.

To me it feels like if I said no, and she decided to stay with me... that she would hate me... and that if I said yes.. it would be going against what I want.

Don't know how to really feel considering this is a very real possibility that may unfold over the next few weeks. A part of me feels sad about how she feels/what her decision would be but a part of me understands.

Any who, just curious on what everybodies thoughts are... apologies for the great wall of text :/

[bunnyhabit]

family naturally comes before friendship. without any income sources and in school neither one of you are qualified to adopt a child. in the end if her mother can provide she has the qualifications she can adopt. rather than saying no you should impress your girlfriend that you don't have the financial resources to support three people and attend school. play down your lack of desire for children to stay hot with girlfriend till you graduate. after that you can split to a more emotionally compatible girlfriend or bite the bullet now and dump her to the curb. i see no long term relationship due to different family plans.

[Ella]

If you don't want to adopt this baby, then don't go against your wish. Adopting a baby is a lot of responsibility and if you aren't ready for it, don't venture into it.

[Bradwin]

I know you really want to make your girlfriend happy, but you can't be unhappy just because you want to make her happy. I think you are still too young to have a baby around, you need to have more fun and enjoy your life and a baby will deprive you of that. However, if she agrees to be financially responsible for the child, then you can accept the child for adoption.