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So, this isn't a new problem, I've known him for over 7 years. We started off pretty hot, it looked like, felt like, seemed like a true thing. BUT, we lived far from each other, 5 hours away. He was up front, in the most brutally honest way, stating the facts: we live too far apart, neither one of us can make that big change, he didn't want to commit to a relationship, he felt smothered by them, trapped, he wanted to be friends, with benefits.
I didn't agree or disagree with him, I was very disappointed. I took some time to re asses the situation. I decided that his friendship was worth it, I reached out to him, and we worked on friendship, but it didn't take long before we both were ready to see each other again, and off we go, hot and heavy - for a little while...that;s how its been all these years.
I can't seem to keep him in a strictly platonic realm, and he can't seem to either.
I know hes' had other relationships, he hints at it, we don't speak openly about that, I've also tried to move on with other relationships, and I'm still stuck on him.
I miss him everyday that we're apart, I dream about him, I think I've lost myself in this unhealthy thing, and I don't want to bury it.
I try to act to him like it's all just no big deal, because I don't want him to think he's hurting me.
I have started to believe its something about ME, maybe I'm not pretty enough, or rich enough, or carefree enough...that he would choose to make an effort to be with me, or say that he was ready for something more.
I know, logically, he isn't after 7 years, thats' pretty obvious.
Why am I stuck?
How can I get unstuck?
How can I get back my worthiness? How can I find myself again?
I didn't agree or disagree with him, I was very disappointed. I took some time to re asses the situation. I decided that his friendship was worth it, I reached out to him, and we worked on friendship, but it didn't take long before we both were ready to see each other again, and off we go, hot and heavy - for a little while...that;s how its been all these years.
I can't seem to keep him in a strictly platonic realm, and he can't seem to either.
I know hes' had other relationships, he hints at it, we don't speak openly about that, I've also tried to move on with other relationships, and I'm still stuck on him.
I miss him everyday that we're apart, I dream about him, I think I've lost myself in this unhealthy thing, and I don't want to bury it.
I try to act to him like it's all just no big deal, because I don't want him to think he's hurting me.
I have started to believe its something about ME, maybe I'm not pretty enough, or rich enough, or carefree enough...that he would choose to make an effort to be with me, or say that he was ready for something more.
I know, logically, he isn't after 7 years, thats' pretty obvious.
Why am I stuck?
How can I get unstuck?
How can I get back my worthiness? How can I find myself again?
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