What men want ?

[Eve]

I'm a more introverted person. I had a few relationships but no long-term relationships. I am a nice, intelligent, loyal girl, yet I can not keep a relationship for more than a few months. What do men want from a girlfriend, what expectations do they have, how should I behave with them?

[Richard]

Don't think that being good or doing things for your man is going to make him think he can't live without you. Believe me, you can never do enough for a man. Men don't fall in love with the things you can do for them. Yes, some say that sacrificing yourself makes you more attractive to a man. I think not. Doing this only makes him see you as convenient - and that is no way to start a marriage.

My granny used to say that men don't necessarily fall in love with a woman he can live with - he falls in love with the woman he can't live without. Men fall in love with how you make them feel when you are together. They want to be around women who challenge them, stands up for herself and shows him that she is not to be trifled with. Men like this because they also like making their woman happy - it makes them feel good about themselves. The type of women men want to marry are the type of women who know how to acknowledge, accept and appreciate the things a man does in a relationship.

Making Yourself Irresistible to Men

One trait that women men want to marry seem to have in common is the ability to make themselves irresistible to a man. Here's how you do it. Men want to win and they love a bit of a challenge. In your relationship, they want to win your heart. Give it to him freely and he will likely pull away from you. Remember, you are valuable and your heart shouldn't be easy to get anyway. You want him to know that he's going to have to put forth some effort to get you - you are his prize.

Now pay close attention here - resisting him means you don't do everything he says, you don't give in to him when he wants something. If you don't like sports, don't go to a sporting event with him just to be in his presence, to please him. In those times when you are apart, he thinks about you and that is a good thing. Men fall in love when you're not with them. Offer no resistance and he will not see winning you as a challenge. Men simply cannot resist a challenge.

What Makes a Man Want to Marry You

Many women seem to think that if they keep giving a man what he wants, he will eventually love them, maybe even marry them. Other women try to push or pressure a man into a relationship, maybe even offer an ultimatum or make threats. Do not make the mistake that if you give in to a man, he will surely want to marry you. Believe me, that is simply not true. Yes, you should do things for him,

Women who love themselves first, who know who they are, know they are valuable and are confident in all of this - these are the women men want to marry. Men fall in love with and marry women who will not compromise their values to be with a man. Men will respect and honor these qualities in a woman. When men respect you, the relationship becomes very strong. These women are strong, independent, spirited individuals who will stand up for themselves and never compromise principles or values. These are the women men want to marry.

[Ashley]

Are you stressed out, tensed out or bummed out? Well, then you might want to recharge your batteries and adjust your attitude if you want to land Mr. Right. Men love the happy, busy, light and breezy woman! The stressed out, angry or bitter woman does NOT do so well with men.

You might be asking, is it easy to be happy, serene and light and breezy? For some women, it comes natural. For others, they have to work at it! But the results do follow... and they are great! Not only are you happier with yourself, you're able to handle stress better AND you are more attractive to your man.

Keep these pointers in mind if you're dating a guy or even married:

-If your man has worked hard to get you, then reward him by being easy to be with. That means you are not so controlling or hard to please. Cut him some slack! If you doesn't take you to that five star restaurant for your birthday, but instead to your favorite Mexican spot, then just enjoy it! Express your appreciation. Next time you'll go to the five star restaurant.

-Learn to control your emotions. Too many angry outbursts can cause a break in the relationship. If you're hot headed or often angry, consider taking an anger management course. If you want to improve your reactions to your partner's behavior, put some space before reacting. Take a few slow breaths. Go for a quick brisk walk or use the bathroom for a few minutes to deep breath and collect your thoughts. Avoid name calling and yelling. Come at your partner with respect. Tell him how his behavior made you feel. Ask him what he meant when he did x, said y. Keep it brief!!! (Men do not like women who go on and on about anything). Sometimes we assume things, and our assumptions can be false and get us into trouble! Express yourself succinctly, avoid too much emotion (men listen to you better that way), and resolve the situation amicably. If you can't, then consider taking a longer breather to think about things, and talk about it at a later time. This way you'll be calmer, too!

-Choose your battles carefully. Learn to let things go. Not every little thing deserves an argument! When we learn to let things go (especially the little things), we feel much better and lighter. Carrying a heavy load of grievances or ill feelings towards others can affect our immunity, our mood and our energy! If something is upsetting you, surrender it to your Higher Power, then either take appropriate action to remedy the situation (sometimes that simply involves telling the other person how you feel respectfully) or LETTING IT GO.

-Learn to communicate respectfully and be patient. Again, your words are powerful. They can cause great pain or they can cause positive change. Choose your words carefully. Be patient. Things cannot and will not change over night. They require time, effort and consistency. Stay positive and keep going!

-Appreciate your man. Reward him for the small stuff so he'll want to do even more for you. He takes out the garbage, "Thanks honey, I appreciate it!" He buys you groceries, "Oh, great, I really needed milk! Thank you so much!" He takes you to a movie, "That movie was great. Really made my day." Limit your negative comments (esp in the beg 3-6 months of dating, but even while married) and focus on the positive. Remember, what you focus on tends to show up in your life. If you want MORE of what a man is doing, reward him by giving him appreciation. If you don't want more of what he is doing, ignore him. Punish him with your absence. Let his inappropriate comments fall flat.

-Bring out your child like joy. Be happy and fun to be around. Be light and breezy. Stay away from nagging and yelling and giving 20 minute sermons! Keep it short and sweet.

-Do whatever you need to do to get to a place of being happy and serene: exercise, take walks, write in a journal, talk to your friend or therapist, meditate, eat lots of fruits and veggies, join a support group or a running, knitting or bike riding group, etc.

-Meditation helps you become more aware, conscious and present. Without those three things, change is extremely difficult.

-ENJOY life! Don't be so serious. Don't take things too personally. Remember you only have one life to live. Make it count!