fell in love for a guy met in chat

[delta2016]

I know this might sound silly and trivial, but it's something that really can't get over my head. The thing is I used to log in into a free chat quite often, in order to practice my English. I am married, so I had no intention at all to meet guys or flirt (it's true, there is no reason why I should lie here). I would go there and randomly chat with anyone who would like to practice English - of course, many were looking for smth else, in that case I would just quit and change person. It was just out of boredom and to keep my English skills fresh. Then the totally unexpected happened. Some months ago I happened to chat with an American guy. We started chatting as usual, I made clear I wasn't there to hook up, and we talked for a while. It didn't take me long to "feel" that that person was different. Maybe I got caught by the fact that he was bilingual and American (I have a thing for USA and languages) , but already from the first moment he was smart, educated and not inappropriate at all. He told me he had social issues (who doesn't in a chat) , so he was quite sincere, and I wasn't interested at ALL in that sense. Like I said , I am married and I was just looking for a language pal. We started chatting regularly for some weeks. I liked the way we discussed about politics, languages, culture, basically everything. We never ever exchange pics or got intimate, yet I felt that something could have happened if I just wanted to. Months passed with this "platonic" relationship (he of course mentioned how unlucky was tha fact that I was married, that he wanted to "see" me, but I never "gave up") .Yet, I felt like I was falling for this educated, knowledgeable man, although I was totally aware of his social problems and issues .... he loves travelling like I do, he was into culture and antropology like I am, we had so much in common! I kept thinking that if I had been single, I would have taken the first flight and meet him. After a few months, I forced myself to just disappear and quit every contact. I think I fell in love with this man and I felt very bad and confused, that 's why I forced myself to just stop before it became too tempting. Now all is over and never logged in again. Yet, I often find myself thinking of him and how it would have been to meet him. I wanna say that I am not "easy" to have a crush on someone, I need my intellect to be really attracted before falling for someone. Am I silly? how can I do to get over him ? I am so "scared" by the fact that I am SO into him even if I have never seen him, met him and I am happily married!!

[bunnyhabit]

people are social animals so it possible to crush on more than one person. if you truly want to be loyal to your husband you must break away from friends the moment you feel a tinge of romance towards them. people on line can project a completely different personality than factual. on the other hand if you are ready for an affair on the side with this man it does not mean that you do not love your husband you are looking for a different relationship not a replacement relationship if you feel capable of handling your husband and an affair partner then let your new friend know that your heart and body is partially available to him if he is interested in perusing as you desire him. you only live once so enjoy.

[Terry]

If you are happily married, then focus on your husband. What you are feeling now isn't real, it's just an imagination. Any attempt to take steps towards this American Guy will be something you will eventually regret.

[delta2016]

thank you... this is exactly what I needed to hear... a voice in my mind keeps saying "what if you had just let it happened and went to meet him" , but you're right, it's all in my head.

[Rachael]

I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment because I have been there. However, you have taken the right step by cutting off contact with him. The fact is that, any attempt to jeopardize your marriage for someone you just met online will be a big mistake.