Help! Advice and opinions needed!

[A Girl With Worries]

I used to have a huge crush on my best friends brother. We’ve known each other about four years now, and he used to be real good to me. He’d put music on, we’d dance, he’d be kind to me, we’d chat, he’d do things for me.... it felt great. I started to wonder if he liked me.

But then I think I blew it. My best friend started to get jealous. She was the first, real best friend I’d ever had and I badly wanted to stay with her.

So when he put music on and she sulked off to her room, I’d say, ‘Be back in a moment,’ and rush off to her. I ended up not even telling him I wouldnt be back down and leaving him alone...

I still liked him powerfully. But then my besties other brother hurt my sister (whom was in a very close relationship with him)

I got mad at her other brother and did my best to give him my evilest stare whenever I encountered him and frequently insulted him. I also got mad at my crush, for no, proper reason.

But now... well I can guess you can see where it’s ended. I want him now. I have been trying to find an answer. I feel too shy to tell him for four years I’ve been obsessed by him.

When we talk, he teases me, and not always nice. He’ll take the mick out of my smile, he’ll comment on my attitude, and he’ll just... just...

but what’s confusing is he’ll make an effort to come up to me and talk, he’ll talk to me, stand there until I leave, embarrassed.

At the moment, I feel like I’d give up my friend for him. I feel as if I... love him.

i just want some advice. I’m going positively crazy here.

[Camila]

I've been there so many times. The overpowering desire to convey how smitten you are with him and the paralyzing fear of "revealing too much" and appearing needy, especially if you are the one going first.

So here is my yes/no answer to your question.

Telling a guy you like him will please the guy and, on its own, is totally fine.

So, if you can tell a guy you like him and feel good about it, go for it.

But, if you are like me, you may start feeling insecure the moment you say "I really like you."

And if he does not respond immediately in the same manner, you may feel even more uncomfortable and lost.

In fact, if you are anything like I used to be, you might be telling your guy nice things only to hear something nice back.

And if that is your true vibe, you will sound needy. And he'll feel it and retreat.

Luckily there is a way of telling a guy you like him and feeling totally confidant and secure about it.

Tell him how he makes you feel or how you feel around him. Try these:

• "You make me feel so happy"
• "I feel so happy around you."
• "When you did XYZ / when we did XYZ together, I felt so relaxed / zen / comfortable / happy / tingly /elated /taken care of."
• "This feels amazing!"

Telling a man about how incredibly happy he makes you feel is the best compliment you can give to a guy and the best way of telling him you like him.

You may be asking, what if none of those phrases above or nothing similar applies to your situation?

What if your guy does not make you feel happy?

Why do you like him then?

If the answer is something like "He is tall, cute, with good sense of humor and nice salary," this may not be the man who can make you happy.

Even if you "really like him."

This may sound really painful but there are thousands other guys who will go really far to make you happy. As long as you are open to them and not committed to someone who does not make you happy, you are doing great!

[Caleb]

There are a lot of things you can do in order to let this guy know that you like him. Once you get to talk to him, you can try out these things.

Use the power of flirting

Flirting is the easiest way to tell the guy you like him. A little complimenting wouldn't hurt as well. Tell him you like what he's wearing or if he has a great body, as him if he works out. Using flattery and flirting is almost like screaming that you are interested.

Let your body language do the talking

Do not forget how you can use body language to speak up. Stay close to him and stand in such a way that your whole body is facing him. Never fold your arms or stand awkward as these are signs that you do not welcome his presence.

Gaze into his eyes

Never forget to look into his eyes every time he speaks. Gazing into his eyes will help you connect to him better. Looking into his eyes while he speaks will also say that you are interested in whatever he is talking about.

Smile-a lot

Smiling and looking like you're having fun is also a good way of saying you like the guy and you are enjoying his company. Smiling is the easiest thing you can do to let a guy know you are interested because obviously, a frown or a snobbish look would not equate to anything positive.

Give him your digits

Giving the guy your digits and telling him that he can call you is a good idea as well. If you do not give your number, it means that you do not want to talk to him ever again. Giving your number even if he does not ask is a good sign.

Do a little touching

Never forget to do a few casual touching on the arm, back or the shoulder. Touching anywhere else is quite inappropriate. Try touching his arm if he says something sweet or give him a light pat in the shoulder if he is saying something funny.

Talk about you two hanging out sometime

Give hints that you are interested in going out sometime. For instance, if you are both tennis fans, say to him that you would love to see the next match live. It is impossible for him not to take the hint especially of you say it in a suggestive way.

[smackie9]

Please have a talk with your friend and hash it out with her. I think if you put each other in each others shoes, you two can get a feel for what the other is feeling. Please reassure her that you will spend time together one on one with her and not focus all your time on him if you two decide to be GF/BF...and that she won't be left behind.