My girlfriend is making me feel unimportant.

[martyrbf777]

When were still in college, my girlfriend was already making me feel unwanted. She seldom made time for me. We were both engineering students way back. Since it is a life-and-death degree, I understood her way of treating me. She was so busy aiming to the top that she forgot I was waiting for her to realize my presence. With her strict parents, I still understood why she became like that. Ukraine women are known for being family-oriented and she’s not an exception. When we graduated in college, I was glad not just because I survived the hell years of my student life, but also because I knew she will make it up to me. I was wrong because she was again busy with her career. I was busy with my career too but I always find time for her. I never make her feel unwanted. I wonder why she cannot do the same. I know there’s no one else. I do not doubt her love because I’m pretty sure she loves me just like how I love her. The only problem is that she’s making me feel unimportant. We already talked about it but same things happen after few weeks. How should I ask her to see my worth? How should I tell her I am always waiting for her? How should I ask her to prove she loves me? I am playing martyr and I know that. I just need an advice on this.

[Banshee]

Hi,Martyrbf777,

Well, it's probably risky to depend too much on any other person for your sense of self-worth, but you KNOW you are as important as anyone else, right? Because you are.

Specifically, what behaviors would you like her to do that you think might make you feel more valued by her? "You make me feel unimportant" might not be a helpful thing to say, because often, we choose our interpretation of what other people do, and if we habitually have a lot of negative self-talk, we can sometimes misinterpret it as a negative commentary on us. From what you wrote, it doesn't sound as if she doesn't love you. It sounds as if she may be a workaholic, and she really believes she has to spend as much time at work as she does.

But I bet that both of you could find a compromise that would reassure you and she could live with.

If you get a chance, Google "love languages." Different people feel loved in different ways. For example, physical affection is very important to me, so I need my hugs at the very least, while receiving thoughtful gifts might be the things that make other people feel loved.I think there is a quiz each of you can take to better understand what makes each of you feel loved and valued.

Good luck. It's all about compromise.

[Dennis]

I suggest you have a one-on-one talk with her about this issue. Tell her exactly how you feel, and let her know she makes you feel unimportant. I'm sure she will reconsider her actions when you have this talk with her.

[Victoria]

Maintaining a strong relationship with your girlfriend can prove to be a challenge but come on --- everything is possible when you're in love. Doesn't it feel good when you make your girlfriend happy everyday? The feeling is phenomenal. To keep the passion and love kicking and overflowing in your life, here are a few easy romantic tips on how to make your girlfriend love you more:

• Take time to make her miss you. Don't be together 24/7 --- that's enough to choke you out of the relationship. I'm not saying you start ignoring her --- just try to balance your time with her and your family, friends, career and other passions. Absence makes the heart go fonder --- and your moment together more special.
• Give her some space to breathe in. Let her go out with her friends and curb your jealousy a little bit --- trust is one of the major ingredients of a healthy relationship. Support her in her passions and let her grow. Treasure your individuality you will learn to love each other more.
• Always make it a habit to show your love. Say "I love you" to her at least once everyday --- it will never hurt. Take time to appreciate the little things that she do for you and always be open to communicate --- it's the best way to keep your relationship going and strong as ever.

[bdog]

I think if I were in a similar situation I would play hard to get. In my experience, being too available in a situation like this makes me seem needy, which females find unattractive. Honestly, I would probably try to find someone else to have sex with, and hide it from the GF. I think this would boost my confidence, which she then would find attractive. But if I would do it, it's probably not a good idea!

[Lovelytony22]

Loving someone so much without getting that kind of "love" back hurts.Never push love on anyone.Love is reciprocal. Perhaps you have to keep on loving her.Do something extremely heart-touching and sit back, wait for her reaction. This could help you know if she really loves you back. How can you even do that?.I suggest you surprise her with gift(love card). Write on it how you dearly love her.Believe me,your action and words will forever remain in her mind.

[smackie9]

She doesn't make the effort to make time for you because she places her priorities differently from yours. This is incompatibility. It's a relaitonship destroyer. You've tried to express your expectations, she agreed, and yet there are still no results. She's blowin you off dude. The only thing you can do is give her an ultimatum. Tell her if she can't make time for you, and you haven't been asking a lot, just some extra time,as heartbreaking as this is to say, you feel you need to move on. You just simply can't be happy with this current situation, she hasn't made the effort, so what is the purpose of being in a relationship?

[bdog]

I think it is a simple case of relationship imbalance. It seems that you need her more than she needs you. I think the most normal situation is for the male to have the upper hand in a relationship, to need her less than she needs you. I think a lot of relationships function the other way around, but it's not normal, given our primal origins.

[Kiddu]

This is very simple, being in relationship with you is not her priority, her priority is her career, then what is your priority? Don't tell me that showing how you love someone who treats you worthless is priority.
There are very many women out there who will treat you wanted and appreciated. If you start to feel that way then that relationship is going no where it matter of time before it ends but if you still want her, better end it before she does so. There you will tell her why you ended the relationship and maybe she will get to see how important it is to you.