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I started a new relationship two years ago with a woman and everything was going great at first. She asked if she could move in with me and we agreed that if the relationship did not work out she would move out. The relationship is not working out and she is not moving out despite my many requests for her to move out. Her personality has completely shifted and she is now a ball of pure negativity and hatred. She now shows every sign of narcissism. She can be triggered by anything or nothing at all. She threatens me when I ask her to move out. She threatens to hurt my family and has implied that she will make false accusations of me assaulting me to send me to jail if I evict her. I never laid a hand on her. She is very focused on the concept of revenge and threatens that if I evict her she will get revenge on me and destroy me. She questions my every move and constantly calls me a liar and a cheater despite having never cheated and rarely ever lying.
When we got together, she told me to never cheat on her and I thought this was reasonable and I agreed. I did not realize our definition of cheating differed. I am called a cheater if I:
* watch a Youtube music video of a female performer (Dolly Parton, Melanie Martinez, Megan Trainer, the list goes on)
* watch any video where women dance (apparently Soul Train is pornography)
* hold the door open for a woman in public
* hold the door open for my girlfriend in crowded public place and another woman walks through
* offer a woman help (example: a short woman needs help reaching the top shelf at the grocery store)
* list a female as a professional reference in my job search (she made me delete every contact in my phone list with a female name)
* receive an e-mail from a female in my job search (many HR professionals are female)
* speak to a female at work about anything unrelated to work (this includes 'good morning')
* speak to my sister (doing so prioritizes another woman over her)
* look at another woman in public (even if for one second)
I am constantly accused of cheating because of the list above and when I am accused of cheating she threatens to sleep with other men. She goes through my phone and demands I show her every folder of my e-mail account and questions anything and everything with a female name and makes me delete e-mails and contacts she does not approve of. She treats me like I am a cheater despite having never cheated by my definition. By her definition I am a cheater (see the list above) and deserve to be treated as one.
She is constantly asking if I am talking about her. At least 10 times a day she will ask 'Are you talking about me'. She is constantly afraid that I am texting other people about her. If my phone chimes with a notification she demands to see it before I do and she will not allow me to turn my notifications off. She confiscates my phone at night because she does not want me to be alone with it. She spends on average 12 hours a day on her phone and shields her screen away from me whenever I approach. She lies about her age (by 10 years) to me and gets very angry when I bring it up.
She has never met my family yet she has an extreme sense of hatred towards them. She grabbed my phone out of my hand several times while talking to my sister and cussed her out at the top of her lungs and insulted her and said horrible things that my sister does not deserve. She accuses my niece and nephew of being my kids out of incest with my sister because I speak to my sister every couple of days. She says absolutely horrible things about my mother every day and asks me why my dad hasn't died yet. She brings up my sister every day to talk trash about her and she repeats herself over and over. She has never even met my sister. She says she hates her because my sister is obsessed with her. My sister never talks about her and does not speak to her. I asked her early in the relationship before everything went sour if she wanted to meet my family. She agreed but bailed out at the last minute and told me to make up an excuse for her. This happened three times.
Yesterday she screamed at the top of her lungs yesterday and told me I am a horrible person because I changed the passkey on my phone. She has told me I am a horrible person many times and has insulted me and called me every insulting name you can think of. She has called me a 'loser' many times. She checks my phone without my permission. She has sent horrible texts to my sister on my phone without my permission. She has told me to kill myself at the top of my lungs in anger. I can't even remember why. She is triggered by anything at all. One time it was because I asked her 'is this my turn' when I was out late at night driving taking her out for ice cream. This sent her into rage mode and she said it was my job as a man to know where I was going. We never made it to the ice cream parlor but instead just drove endlessly in silence.
She brings up arguments we had from a year ago and wants to argue about them again for an hour or longer while I remain in silence. Nearly every day she brings up something from months or a year ago and wants to fight about it. She says she did a background check on my family and says she has video footage of my sister going to and leaving work. She often tells me how ugly my family is and asks me why my family is so ugly. She tries to trigger me every day so she can record my responses and send them to the police to prove I am crazy.
She compares me to her ex-boyfriend and has told me how much better he was than me. She refuses to let me meet her friends because she said horrible things about me to them and now they hate me. She frequently tells me how wealthy her friends and family are and how they can afford to do things I cannot afford.
She is extremely controlling and will not let me leave the house without her. She planted a tracking device on my car without my knowledge. She demands how long it will take me to do things and if I don't know she blows up. Most recently it was because I had to have my transmission serviced and could not tell her exactly how long it would take and she went into rage mode. I went to a video game store. She asked how long it would take and I said I did not know and guessed 15 minutes. After 20 minutes passed she called me in absolute anger and was screaming and cussing at me for taking too long. She has extreme anger and trust issues. She constantly calls me a liar. She goes beyond negativity. She is nothing but absolute and extreme hatred.
She calls me every 15 minutes and if I do not answer the phone she is sent into rage mode. There are no excuses for missing her phone call. If I am in the bathroom, mowing the yard, in a meeting with my boss, on the other line with my mom, there are no excuses. When we are on the phone she constantly accuses me of adding other people to the call. She insists I have secret spy cameras planted throughout my house and am sending video footage of her in the shower and sending that footing to my mother for sexual gratification. She called the police on me last night because I changed the passkey to unlock my phone. She has threatend to 'burn down my mother's house with her in it'.
She constantly accuses me of 'gaslighting' her. An example is she will accuse me of secretly adding my sister to our phone call and I tell her there is no one else on the other than her and I (the truth). She responds by 'STOP GASLIGHTING ME!!!'. She things my dad is hiring secret spies to track her down at work (which he is not). I tell her my dad is not hiring secret spies to watch her and replies with 'STOP GASLIGHTING ME!!!'.
I could go on and on and easily turn this post into a book. I cannot focus on anything because of the non-stop verbal abuse. She goes into total meltdown mode at least once a day and I cannot predict what will set her off. She makes threats if I consider evicting her. We are not married. We have never presented ourselves as married. We have no kids together. We have never purchased anything together. There are no legal documents between us. I paid for the house in full before we even met and the house is in my name. I pay the taxes and all related expenses. There are no ties except for the fact she lives in my house and will not move out. When I ask her to move out she says she cannot afford to and it all my dad's fault for causing her to lose her job by hiring secret spies to stalk her. Everything is always about fault and she always tells me everything is my fault.
How do I get out of this relationship?
When we got together, she told me to never cheat on her and I thought this was reasonable and I agreed. I did not realize our definition of cheating differed. I am called a cheater if I:
* watch a Youtube music video of a female performer (Dolly Parton, Melanie Martinez, Megan Trainer, the list goes on)
* watch any video where women dance (apparently Soul Train is pornography)
* hold the door open for a woman in public
* hold the door open for my girlfriend in crowded public place and another woman walks through
* offer a woman help (example: a short woman needs help reaching the top shelf at the grocery store)
* list a female as a professional reference in my job search (she made me delete every contact in my phone list with a female name)
* receive an e-mail from a female in my job search (many HR professionals are female)
* speak to a female at work about anything unrelated to work (this includes 'good morning')
* speak to my sister (doing so prioritizes another woman over her)
* look at another woman in public (even if for one second)
I am constantly accused of cheating because of the list above and when I am accused of cheating she threatens to sleep with other men. She goes through my phone and demands I show her every folder of my e-mail account and questions anything and everything with a female name and makes me delete e-mails and contacts she does not approve of. She treats me like I am a cheater despite having never cheated by my definition. By her definition I am a cheater (see the list above) and deserve to be treated as one.
She is constantly asking if I am talking about her. At least 10 times a day she will ask 'Are you talking about me'. She is constantly afraid that I am texting other people about her. If my phone chimes with a notification she demands to see it before I do and she will not allow me to turn my notifications off. She confiscates my phone at night because she does not want me to be alone with it. She spends on average 12 hours a day on her phone and shields her screen away from me whenever I approach. She lies about her age (by 10 years) to me and gets very angry when I bring it up.
She has never met my family yet she has an extreme sense of hatred towards them. She grabbed my phone out of my hand several times while talking to my sister and cussed her out at the top of her lungs and insulted her and said horrible things that my sister does not deserve. She accuses my niece and nephew of being my kids out of incest with my sister because I speak to my sister every couple of days. She says absolutely horrible things about my mother every day and asks me why my dad hasn't died yet. She brings up my sister every day to talk trash about her and she repeats herself over and over. She has never even met my sister. She says she hates her because my sister is obsessed with her. My sister never talks about her and does not speak to her. I asked her early in the relationship before everything went sour if she wanted to meet my family. She agreed but bailed out at the last minute and told me to make up an excuse for her. This happened three times.
Yesterday she screamed at the top of her lungs yesterday and told me I am a horrible person because I changed the passkey on my phone. She has told me I am a horrible person many times and has insulted me and called me every insulting name you can think of. She has called me a 'loser' many times. She checks my phone without my permission. She has sent horrible texts to my sister on my phone without my permission. She has told me to kill myself at the top of my lungs in anger. I can't even remember why. She is triggered by anything at all. One time it was because I asked her 'is this my turn' when I was out late at night driving taking her out for ice cream. This sent her into rage mode and she said it was my job as a man to know where I was going. We never made it to the ice cream parlor but instead just drove endlessly in silence.
She brings up arguments we had from a year ago and wants to argue about them again for an hour or longer while I remain in silence. Nearly every day she brings up something from months or a year ago and wants to fight about it. She says she did a background check on my family and says she has video footage of my sister going to and leaving work. She often tells me how ugly my family is and asks me why my family is so ugly. She tries to trigger me every day so she can record my responses and send them to the police to prove I am crazy.
She compares me to her ex-boyfriend and has told me how much better he was than me. She refuses to let me meet her friends because she said horrible things about me to them and now they hate me. She frequently tells me how wealthy her friends and family are and how they can afford to do things I cannot afford.
She is extremely controlling and will not let me leave the house without her. She planted a tracking device on my car without my knowledge. She demands how long it will take me to do things and if I don't know she blows up. Most recently it was because I had to have my transmission serviced and could not tell her exactly how long it would take and she went into rage mode. I went to a video game store. She asked how long it would take and I said I did not know and guessed 15 minutes. After 20 minutes passed she called me in absolute anger and was screaming and cussing at me for taking too long. She has extreme anger and trust issues. She constantly calls me a liar. She goes beyond negativity. She is nothing but absolute and extreme hatred.
She calls me every 15 minutes and if I do not answer the phone she is sent into rage mode. There are no excuses for missing her phone call. If I am in the bathroom, mowing the yard, in a meeting with my boss, on the other line with my mom, there are no excuses. When we are on the phone she constantly accuses me of adding other people to the call. She insists I have secret spy cameras planted throughout my house and am sending video footage of her in the shower and sending that footing to my mother for sexual gratification. She called the police on me last night because I changed the passkey to unlock my phone. She has threatend to 'burn down my mother's house with her in it'.
She constantly accuses me of 'gaslighting' her. An example is she will accuse me of secretly adding my sister to our phone call and I tell her there is no one else on the other than her and I (the truth). She responds by 'STOP GASLIGHTING ME!!!'. She things my dad is hiring secret spies to track her down at work (which he is not). I tell her my dad is not hiring secret spies to watch her and replies with 'STOP GASLIGHTING ME!!!'.
I could go on and on and easily turn this post into a book. I cannot focus on anything because of the non-stop verbal abuse. She goes into total meltdown mode at least once a day and I cannot predict what will set her off. She makes threats if I consider evicting her. We are not married. We have never presented ourselves as married. We have no kids together. We have never purchased anything together. There are no legal documents between us. I paid for the house in full before we even met and the house is in my name. I pay the taxes and all related expenses. There are no ties except for the fact she lives in my house and will not move out. When I ask her to move out she says she cannot afford to and it all my dad's fault for causing her to lose her job by hiring secret spies to stalk her. Everything is always about fault and she always tells me everything is my fault.
How do I get out of this relationship?