Men Keep Giving Me Their Number Instead Of Asking For Mine

[Ashley]

I have been trying online dating out for the last two weeks and it's been great! But there's one thing that I've stumbled on and that I have not heard anyone mention in any article I read online. It's the fact that men keep giving me their number, even if I haven't asked for it instead of asking for mine.

What does this mean?

[Nicolas]

The simple answer to your question is that when men give you their number, they're most definitely intrigued by you enough to want to take their interaction with you to the next level.

This is a good thing, of course!

Nevertheless, I can see how it would be a bit unnerving to be chatting back and forth via e-mail on Match.com (or on Facebook or Twitter, for that matter) only to have him imply that you should call him out of the blue.

After all, you don't even really know him yet.

And wait a minute...shouldn't a gentleman take the initiative to call YOU first?

Well, even with all of that in mind, please don't draw any hasty conclusions when that happens...especially negative ones.

After all, there are some truly great guys out there who mean well, even if in being true to their guy nature they don't fully grasp how protective some of how you women can be of your personal contact information.

In addition, often times the strategy actually pays off.

You might be surprised by how many women these days will gladly pick up the phone and dial.

After all, as long as you're on a mobile phone without some fancy GPS location transmission function or something, it's all but impossible for anyone to compromise your personal security (i.e. find out your address, your exact whereabouts, etc.)

Now that said, I'm completely on board with the fact that a man who truly "gets it" would exchange a couple of e-mails with you before perhaps saying something similar to this:

"I'm enjoying our conversation, but it's time for us to hear each others' voices. I realize that a gentleman should take the initiative of calling the lady, so if you'll give me your phone number and a time when you're available I'd like to call you."

And sure enough, he may include his phone number also.

But a little elaboration sure goes a long way, right?

But the real-world truth about online dating is that both men and women who know the ropes can find themselves with PLENTY of options.

This means that they're less likely to spend any more time than they need to in moving interactions along.

Sooner than later, you'll realize like others who have been online for a bit longer than you've been that typing back and forth for days or weeks can be a REAL drain on your free time.

On top of that, the longer you go before moving to the phone and then to the actual face-to-face meeting the more any potential disappointment is going to really hurt.

As such, lots of perfectly decent folks online - men AND women alike - tend to be rather frank about wanting to go from e-mail to phone very quickly, and to the first meeting shortly after ward.

In fact, I actually wholeheartedly RECOMMEND moving things along quickly.

So definitely don't automatically assume that a man who drops his phone number on you quickly is being pushy or presumptuous.

He may be a good guy - just one who has met some women who turned out to be different in real life than they seemed online.

[Ashley]

That was a good advice from you Nicolas, thank you!

[ElizabethKovar]

Does it always mean they want more than just talk?