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I have been having trouble with girls for years now. When I meet a girl, I always manage to have a good conversation with her. I keep it casual and positive, show genuine interest, try to make her laugh, and share a few interesting things about myself. I am polite, but I wouldn’t say a simp. I try to act as alpha as I can. However, girls just don’t have any interest in me. They don’t throw drinks in my face or slap me. When I ask for a phone number to meet again, they say, “No thanks. It was nice meeting you.” Maybe I get a small hug, but only rarely.
I have asked a few female friends and family members if there is anything off-putting about me, but all of them say I act normal and they have no idea why I can’t start a relationship.
There is one person who could potentially help me.
I once had a very good female friend. We met during a very dark time in my life and I was always acting like a needy beta around her. But she cared about me sincerely and did her best to help me.
Eventually, we ended up separated for a long time, but we stayed in touch. In fact, our relationship got much stronger during our time apart. I was getting better and she started revealing her own pains and struggles to me - namely severe family traumas and daddy issues. Like many men, I adapted a “white knight syndrome” and tried my best to save her from all of these things. I even paid for a month of therapy for her. Part of it was to thank her for her goodness to me in my bad times and part of it was that I gradually fell in love with her.
Eventually, I realized that she was not the girl for me. She simply had too many problems. But I continued to care about her tremendously as a friend. We would call each other angel and she said I made her feel loved. Then after our long absence, I finally met with her again. She was a train wreck, but I was still happy to be back together and so was she.
And so on our second day together, I tried to kiss her. At that point, it was more about deep friendship/care. And plus she is a beautiful girl. I figured she was ready since we were really enjoying each other’s company, but she pushed me and then the next day texted that she wasn’t comfortable meeting again.
I apologized for the attempted kiss and convinced her to meet one more time. She was cold as ice throughout. After that she started ignoring me more often and our sparse conversations via text were very stilted. She even moved to my city without telling me. It has now been over a year since I tried to kiss her and we haven’t spoken since June. She deleted me from her instagram back in January and finally deleted me from Facebook today - our last link has been severed.
Although our friendship seems to be ruined, perhaps this girl can provide valuable insight into what is wrong with me. And so I’m thinking of writing to her and asking to tell me why one attempted kiss affected her so badly. She may block me or get insulted, but it seems I have nothing to lose and if she does give honest feedback, maybe I can use it towards finally getting girl in the future. What does everyone think?