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Hi all, I've received wonderful advice here in the past. I've never posted anything regarding my current relationship bc it's been perfect for it's 16 month existence. I could write a textbook explaining how much extacy she brings to my life. But now the child convo has reached a point of me needing helpful advice. She would like 1 MAYBE 2 more "if that's what god wants for me" even though she has 1 already from a previous relationship. I'm feeling like I don't want another (I have 1 already) but I'm still open to it, but definitely not more than 1.
We are long distance, i have compromised and am making the move to her once we get married next year. Im moving 3 hours away from my son who i see regularly but now it will be less frequent, and transfering my job. Also im paying for our wedding there. Our first ever conversation included her asking if I wanted more kids, I said I don't think so. 6 months later I asked her if not having kids was a deal breaker, she said we can talk about that later. 6 months after that she asks me to tell her if I don't want kids so that she can prepare herself for that. She said preparing herself means that she would find a form of contraceptive and pray for God to help her be happy with not having another, amongst other thing she would do. Basically staying with me if I don't want anymore kids. She knows now that i dont want kids, at least that's how i fell at this point.. I know I can't tell her if she should have kids or not but there's a lot of reasons why she shouldn't ie she would have to have a C section, she has hsv, she says bc everyone in her family has a lot of kids she wants more, had a tramatic experience with her kids dad (still dealing with that consequence), and it doesn't seem like her current son is bringing her more happiness than if she was child free. Is it possible to avoid future resentment that will make one of us hate the other? Am I overthinking by feeling guilty?
We are long distance, i have compromised and am making the move to her once we get married next year. Im moving 3 hours away from my son who i see regularly but now it will be less frequent, and transfering my job. Also im paying for our wedding there. Our first ever conversation included her asking if I wanted more kids, I said I don't think so. 6 months later I asked her if not having kids was a deal breaker, she said we can talk about that later. 6 months after that she asks me to tell her if I don't want kids so that she can prepare herself for that. She said preparing herself means that she would find a form of contraceptive and pray for God to help her be happy with not having another, amongst other thing she would do. Basically staying with me if I don't want anymore kids. She knows now that i dont want kids, at least that's how i fell at this point.. I know I can't tell her if she should have kids or not but there's a lot of reasons why she shouldn't ie she would have to have a C section, she has hsv, she says bc everyone in her family has a lot of kids she wants more, had a tramatic experience with her kids dad (still dealing with that consequence), and it doesn't seem like her current son is bringing her more happiness than if she was child free. Is it possible to avoid future resentment that will make one of us hate the other? Am I overthinking by feeling guilty?