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I have it all... except love

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  • I have it all... except love

    57 years old.. I make a ton of $$$, travel, etc.. I have everything I want.. but love. I was married for 17 years, had some relationships since then (15 years since divorce) but still alone. I hate this, feel like just giving up and getting a dog for companionship. Sure I have my kids but they are grown with their own young families. ARGHH... who else feels this way? any solutions?

  • #2
    Firstly, let me express my understanding and empathy for the complex emotions you're experiencing. It's not uncommon to reach a point in life where material success abounds, yet a profound sense of loneliness persists. The pursuit of love and companionship is a universal need, and it's commendable that you're seeking solutions to address this aspect of your life.

    At 57, with a flourishing career, financial stability, and the ability to indulge in travel and various luxuries, it might seem perplexing that the quest for love remains unfulfilled. However, rest assured, you're not alone in feeling this way. Many individuals, despite achieving success in numerous facets of life, grapple with the void left by the absence of a romantic partner.

    The first step in finding a solution is acknowledging and accepting your feelings. Loneliness is a legitimate emotion, and it's okay to feel the way you do. It's crucial not to downplay or invalidate your emotions, as doing so can impede the process of seeking a resolution.

    Reflecting on your past relationships and the 15 years since your divorce, it's clear that finding lasting love has been elusive. This can be disheartening, but it's essential to approach the situation with a positive mindset. Understand that each relationship, regardless of its duration, teaches valuable lessons about compatibility, communication, and personal growth.

    Given your life stage, where your children have grown and established their own families, it's natural to feel a void that was once filled by the responsibilities of parenthood. Now is an opportune moment to focus on your own well-being and happiness. It's not about giving up; it's about redirecting your energy towards self-discovery and fulfillment.

    Consider engaging in activities that bring you joy and allow you to meet new people. Pursue hobbies, join clubs, or participate in community events where you can connect with individuals who share similar interests. Building connections organically in this way can lead to meaningful friendships and potentially spark romantic interests.

    Online dating is another avenue worth exploring. The digital landscape has transformed the way people connect, and there are platforms catering to various preferences and lifestyles. Creating an authentic profile that reflects your true self can attract like-minded individuals. Be patient and open-minded, allowing connections to develop naturally.

    It's also crucial to reassess your expectations and priorities in a relationship. Sometimes, being too rigid in our criteria can hinder the potential for a fulfilling connection. Look for qualities that truly matter and contribute to a healthy, supportive partnership.

    While contemplating the idea of getting a dog for companionship is understandable, it's essential to ensure that this decision stems from a genuine desire for a furry friend and not solely as a remedy for loneliness. Pets can undoubtedly provide companionship, but they also require time, effort, and commitment.

    In conclusion, finding love later in life is not only possible but also a journey that can bring immense joy and fulfillment. Embrace the process with patience, an open heart, and a willingness to explore new possibilities. Remember, it's never too late to discover meaningful connections that enrich your life in ways you may not have imagined.

    Wishing you strength, resilience, and the courage to embark on this exciting chapter of self-discovery and love.

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    • #3

      I hear you, and it's clear that you're going through a challenging time. Loneliness, especially when surrounded by material success, can be an overwhelming and perplexing experience. It's completely valid to feel the way you do, but it's important to recognize that there are ways to navigate through this and find fulfillment in the realm of love and companionship.

      Firstly, let's acknowledge that your feelings are not uncommon. Many individuals, regardless of age or financial status, find themselves in a similar position. The search for love can be a complex journey, and the fact that you're sharing your experience is a courageous step toward understanding and addressing your emotions.

      It's important to recognize the uniqueness of your situation. While you've achieved success in various aspects of your life, the absence of a romantic partner has left a void. This feeling is entirely normal, as human beings are wired for connection and companionship. It's not just about having someone by your side; it's about sharing life's experiences, joys, and challenges with a significant other.

      Now, let's explore some potential solutions. While it might seem tempting to throw in the towel and opt for a canine companion, which can undoubtedly bring joy and comfort, it's also essential to assess your readiness for a human connection. Dogs are wonderful companions, but they don't replace the depth and complexity of human relationships.

      Consider reflecting on your past relationships. What worked well, and what didn't? Understanding your own needs and desires is crucial in finding a compatible partner. It might be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can provide insights into your relationship patterns and help you navigate your emotions.

      Furthermore, it's never too late to re-enter the dating scene. Technology has revolutionized the way people connect, and online dating platforms can be a valuable tool in meeting potential partners. Be open-minded and patient; building a meaningful connection takes time.

      Engage in activities that align with your interests and values. Whether it's joining clubs, attending social events, or pursuing hobbies, putting yourself in environments where you can meet like-minded individuals increases the likelihood of finding someone compatible.

      Don't hesitate to communicate with your children about your feelings. They might offer support, understanding, and even share their own perspectives on your situation. They may also provide valuable insights into potential ways to meet new people.

      Volunteering is another excellent avenue for meeting individuals who share a passion for making a positive impact. This not only provides an opportunity to contribute to the community but also exposes you to a diverse range of people with similar values.

      Remember, the journey to finding love is unique for each person. It's about self-discovery, personal growth, and being open to new possibilities. While it may feel frustrating now, there is hope and potential for a fulfilling connection in the future.

      In conclusion, your feelings of loneliness are valid, and it's commendable that you're seeking solutions. Reflect on your past relationships, seek professional guidance if needed, explore online dating, engage in activities you're passionate about, and maintain open communication with your loved ones. The path to love may have its challenges, but with patience and a proactive mindset, you can create meaningful connections that enhance the richness of your life.


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