She ghosted me after speaking for just 10 days. Why!?

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

I met this girl at my house party about 6 weeks ago. We really hit it off and she seeming really into me. We hung out together most the night. Hung out a lot in my room talking too, but didn't hook up.

So, the party was on a Saturday night. She started messaging me immediately when she got home after the party till she fell asleep, again when she woke up, and then I didn't reply all day, and when I replied at night, she replied instantly and we chatted till about 3am. She mentioned hanging out or partying again together soon.

From the Monday, we kept talking everyday, not all day, and not once did I bring up hanging out. Then Friday night when we were talking, I told her I was at a house party near where she lives and she asked if she could come with 8 mates. I said it might be too many cos the house isn't huge and she just said don't worry about it, next time. Saturday we were still talking and around midnight I asked her what she was doing, she said she was bored just chilling at home, I said next time you bored let me know we can hang out. She replied the next day "sure I will definitely let you know. what your plans tonight?" I said no plans I just want to go to Costco and take a drive, have a chilled Sunday, to which she says I really wana go to Costco too, I haven't been in ages. I said I can pick her up if she wants to go, and then she says I have to go with my sister (they live together) but next time I'm totally down. She even asked me do I have a spare helmet for her. cos I got a motorbike. I just said sure no problem next time and we didn't really keep talking and the conversation ended there.

We didn't speak on Monday and Tuesday, and on Wednesday I messaged her to invite her to my house on Thursday night for a Thanksgiving dinner / party we were having. She said she had plans with her friends already, but would really like to come after if it's ok with me and it's not too late. I said sure its not a big deal I know its late notice, if you can make it will be cool to hang out again otherwise another time. She replied "ya it would be cool! I really hope I get to stop by and taste your cooking too." She messaged me that night saying she's really sorry she can't come. I just said no worries have a good evening.

This is the 10 day mark I was referring to in my title.

She replied 3 days later saying "hey i went mia all weekend, how are u?" I replied a couple hours later just a simple reply. She reads it 3 days later again, replies "hey im so sorry watsup? how r u" I reply the next day, again a simple reply im good, busy week so far how u been?" well again, 3 days later she replies. "Hey i'm good, im sorry I been so mia."

Now it's just strange so all I said is hey its cool, is everything alright? She didn't read it. and at 3am I messaged her again hey is there a reason for your mia? feels like u dont wana talk to me anymore suddenly. if something is wrong u can tell me. She still has not even read any of those last messages I sent... it's been 3 weeks now. I don't understand what happened.. I thought she was into me too, and I don't think I came on too strong at all. pls any advice would help!

[bunnyhabit]

smells like she hooked up with a jealous man with a watchful eye on her activities. I don't see anything you did that should have offended her. I suggest you ignore her till she answers your well written request for an explanation. do not let her walk around a lengthy response for her indifference and lack of respect to you.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

smells like she hooked up with a jealous man with a watchful eye on her activities. I don't see anything you did that should have offended her. I suggest you ignore her till she answers your well written request for an explanation. do not let her walk around a lengthy response for her indifference and lack of respect to you.

Thanks for reading my lengthy post.... I just wanted to put all the details out there so someone could tell me whether I messed up somewhere. It seemed to be going well, all the talking the day after the party especially made me think our meeting meant something for sure. Even the night before the thanksgiving party and in the morning when she said it would be cool to hang out again and she hopes to stop by to to taste my cooking. I couldn't understand how the very next day she became distant so thats why i kept replying to her late messages for a week because I thought she was just busy, so even gave her the chance to explain herself, but she chose to not even read it...

You right I should feel disrespected, not sad it didn't work out. I honestly don't know if I'll hear from her again its been over 3 weeks now. Sucks because I really thought we hit it off and her attitude is showing me she doesn't give a shit

[bunnyhabit]

don't give up , if my interpretation is correct she may get tired of her new man over controlling her after his newness wears off her. the key is for you avoid trailering her in the mean time. let her current fling die down and perhaps she will apologize to you. if you keep bugging her she will never be inclined toward you.

on the other hand do not stop chasing new darlings that appeal to you waiting for her.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

don't give up , if my interpretation is correct she may get tired of her new man over controlling her after his newness wears off her. the key is for you avoid trailering her in the mean time. let her current fling die down and perhaps she will apologize to you. if you keep bugging her she will never be inclined toward you.

on the other hand do not stop chasing new darlings that appeal to you waiting for her.

I posted on another website, loveshack, and a few people are blaming me for not asking her out on a real date and saying my behavior was wishy washy with her so she moved on ... They basically saying those invites were pathetic cos they weren't dates. The Friday night I should've allowed her to come with 8 mates to the party I was at, even though 8 was too many. Saturday night I should've asked her on a date instead of saying next time you bored too let's hang out. And Sunday when she asked me do I have plans I shouldn't have said I need to go to Costco and asked her out.. she messaged me at 5pm that Sunday, what I must just drop my plans for her. And then the Thanksgiving invite the day before also was not good according to them.

Obviously I wanted to ask her out alone, but I wasn't too sure about her feelings so I took it slow. I mean we talking a week and a half after we met only. There's a girl accussing me of wasting her time.... Seriously?! I mean I've asked girls out a month after we started chatting and it was fine. I think it totally depends on the situation...

Ya so basically a few of these people are saying its 100% my fault she ghosted.

Btw we she came with mutual friends to my party, that's how we met, not good friends of both of ours, but there is a chance we could run into each other again.

[bunnyhabit]

you will get many opinions from different sources. is up to you to decide who advice you take and reject. i believe their comeback was venting not advice. probably all femmes that favor strong aggressive men which is contrary to your personality. i try match advice to clients apparent persona.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

you will get many opinions from different sources. is up to you to decide who advice you take and reject. i believe their comeback was venting not advice. probably all femmes that favor strong aggressive men which is contrary to your personality. i try match advice to clients apparent persona.

Thanks I I like your advice, so 100% I am not contacting her again. I mean it's now been 1 month since the night she said sorry been so mia and i asked her why. and she still hasn't read those messages from me.

I gota say I usually move on very quickly if a girl is not interested, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about her. I guess it's frustrating me that we didn't even get to see each other again after it was going well and how she could just stop speaking to me so drastically and suddenly. I have been thinking a lot about the girls comments on the other forum and now it's bugging me maybe they were right in a sense. Do you think I should've asked her out a bit better ?
I know it's better to be a bit of a challenge in the beginning and not initiate dates etc too quickly, so for me I was still only 9 days into talking her, I thought it was ok, should I have moved faster ? I think the invites although were not dates, made it clear I wanted to see her again.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

She replied this morning....

She just said:

hey
im so sorry...
Merry belated XMAS!
i'm really bad at replying to people hahaha


I'll wait now till tonight or tomorrow to reply to her

[bunnyhabit]

I think it's not because you didn't ask date but your convos were very platonic not typical guys flirty stuff when chatting like "hi my beautiful baby I missed your aroma since your last hit" obvious signs she gets you hot not just friendly jiving i think you bounced on her like a buddy. her term "people " is a slam of where she thinks you fit in her life ( unimportant).get your feelings across to her in your next message "babe did you miss me as much as I missed your scent"

[Michael]

I think she lost interest in you and hence she decided to ghost you. Most times, it could be that she's talking to another guy and this made her lost interest in you. Also, it could be as a result of something you said unknowingly that offended her. However, whatever, the case may be, I'll advice you move on with your life and stop contacting her.

[Olivia]

Getting extremely attracted to someone can be a curse, especially if it's nearing terminal case --- the nice and horrible feeling collides and you think you're absolutely powerless on what to do about it --- especially if you absolutely have no idea if she's going to like you back. But then, as the old belief goes, nothing will happen if you don't do something about it --- that's why you shouldn't wonder why all your sulking and whining seem not to get you anywhere. It's time to get some action, man! Stop all that nonsense of being nervous, scared and anxious around women --- it's time to be her lover now! Below are just a few easy and effective ways to make her want you:

• Keep her interested. There are plenty of ways to achieve this --- and believe me, it's more than just your hot gorgeous body and a fat wallet. Women are much more smitten with personality, no kidding on that, that's why you shouldn't wonder why they would go for a smart dude who can make them laugh instead of that drool-worthy heartthrob. It takes more than that.
• Keep her guessing. Make your conversation a little bit interesting by making her guess on some of the topics you're having --- or better yet, keep her guessing on what you're going to do next. Spontaneous and unpredictable guys usually catch a girl's attention --- that's why you shouldn't reveal everything about you right away.
• Keep your confidence level. When things get a little out of hand, or when a girl simply isn't interested, don't get all stressed and pop a vein. It's really no big deal. Stay cool and confident --- no need to slow down just because of a single crappy rejection. Charge it to experience and you'd be luckier soon.
• Keep flirting. Flirting is your number ally when it comes to getting a girl's attention. If you know how to flirt, you're easier to detect --- when you're in a sociable mood, you're more attractive and women will be drawn to be around you often. So know how to chill out.
• Build sexual tension. Keep it going! Keep the pace. Once you do, there's a greater chance to build sexual tension and practically make her fall for you more easily. Creating sexual tension increases your chances for a make-out session and will get you two more attuned with each other's presence. Just keep going --- you'd definitely get to the best part soon.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

Thank you for this!

I didn't show her that I wanted her, even though in my mind I wanted her bad, and I was chatting to her way too much without asking her out. I've actually rushed in a little too quick in the past with the ones I really like, and this time I was trying to be aloof. I dono I guess if i had just asked her out after we first met it might have been different now...

I said she messaged me the other morning, and well I just replied back to her much later that night. But again wtf, she didn't even read it. I honestly don't understand why she would message me a month later and then not even read my reply. this was 2 days ago. I'm thinking now that when she replies, if she does, i am just going to ask her out. if she says no then i have my answer and i can just forget about it for good. It's not looking good, but i am still adamant we were both into each other when we met, so I'm not willing to just give up yet.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

Last night at the new years party I was at I met 2 girls, both gave me their numbers and we chatted a bit after the party too. The 1 in particular really caught my eye and it seemed she was into me too because she was there with 1 of her friends who later left to go to another party, but this one stayed at the party with me.

So now, I don't want another story to post about being ghosted lol.... Do I ask her out soon?

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

I think it's not because you didn't ask date but your convos were very platonic not typical guys flirty stuff when chatting like "hi my beautiful baby I missed your aroma since your last hit" obvious signs she gets you hot not just friendly jiving i think you bounced on her like a buddy. her term "people " is a slam of where she thinks you fit in her life ( unimportant).get your feelings across to her in your next message "babe did you miss me as much as I missed your scent"

haha I'm not sure i'm going to say that considering she seems to have lost interest in me now. But I get what you trying to say. I honestly don't understand her behavior though. I replied to her much much later, and then she didn't even read it. Why on earth would she message me a month later, only to not reply again? I'm thinking now that if she replies i'm going to just ask her out. ill say something like listen its been a while since we met, lets go out for dinner and some drinks on Saturday?

[bunnyhabit]

she won't respond till you show an romantic interest in her . now she is hurt she doesn't appeal to you beyond casual chat buddy. asking her out well be good if done with some passion.

[Mixalis_Tzatziki]

she won't respond till you show an romantic interest in her . now she is hurt she doesn't appeal to you beyond casual chat buddy. asking her out well be good if done with some passion.

Well where do I begin.
She never even read my replies after she messaged me first, which was last Sunday and today is Saturday, plus I sent her a happy new years message on Monday which she never read either. Again, I have no idea why after a month of not talking to me she would start up conversation again, only to not even read my replies. So there is no way I can message her again now I guess. I honestly don't believe she is hurt like u said, I have to think now she is just clearly no longer interested. If she was, she would've resumed the conversation, not started it then just left it there. Maybe she just felt bad she hasn't replied to me after all this time, and it was a simple way for her to tell me she doesn't think i'm an ass or anything, but she's just not interested.

Then, I mentioned I met a really nice girl on Monday night at the new years party. All her friends were at another party, but she chose to stay at this party with me and we had a good time. Then we kept chatting after the party too and have been chatting this week. We haven't spoken loads like me and the original girl in the post were talking, but it's still been good. So I really didn't wana waste the opportunity again, so yesterday I asked her if she wants to go out for dinner this weekend? And well, she didn't even reply. K she didn't tell me she just came out of a relationship, but judging by very recent fb posts, it looks like she has. Either way, just not even replying to me. shit just say sorry u can't... I have no idea what the hell to do now. feeling a little butt hurt here tbh

[bunnyhabit]

sounds like you are heading down same path again. I bet you just chatted at party with her platonically without trying to hook her for the night . she stayed alone at party with you for a reason and it wasn't chatting only or she would have shadowed her gang.