Her ex is causing serious problems

[Cammypotter]

Hello,

I really need help and advice with this so thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

So, where to begin. I'm a 22 year old male, I met a girl (22) from tinder 3 months ago and we are now boyfriend and girlfriend. She has 2 year old twins, and her ex boyfriend (31) is the father of them. He has been causing lots of problems since the start. Initially, he wanted to get back with her and in fairness was lead on because they were having sex for the first week that her and I were speaking, continuing for a few days after our first date. She told me that she wanted to see if they could still work because it would be the best for her kids if it did, but it didn't so she stopped having sex with him. He, even now, randomly drops by to her house asking to see the kids and appears to be using them as a medium to get close to her. So basically they shout at eachother a lot, very toxic, and they're constantly threatening eachother. So eventually he asked her to choose and she chose me. So he said he'd respect her choice, which his actions haven't really reflected. He sent her a letter of promises planning the next year together, basically emotional manipulation talking about the kids being happy with two parents etc. Even though they've broken up like six times and don't seem compatible. Anyway, I met with him a few times now to discuss what I could do to make things easier for him, I regret this now. Anyway, last time we spoke he stopped me in the street aggressively, clearly angry, because she hadn't told him I'd met the kids and he saw us walking back with them. It just seems to be slowly escalating and with the nature of my job, I can't have a criminal record if he assaults me, I retaliate and he tries to charge me. My girlfriend says she wishes id "get his respect" with force if need be but this simply isn't an option if I want to keep my job.

How do I stand up to him in a way that can get him to back off, he is very manipulative.

I know at my age I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help that I've fallen in love with her. Ideas folks?


And

[Nameless]

It's a hard situation. But from my point of view. I think your issue shouldn't be with him. He can bark as long as he can. She might be your issue . You said you are in love with her. But does she love you back as you do? You are facing issues and yet you want to figure out how to get it fixed. Will she do the same when it gets more tough or she will just run away? I don't ask you to question her feelings. But she has his kids Means you can't take him off at all. He will be always around. You said she had sex with him to see if things between both of them can work out or not . I don't know But does sex will solve a toxic relationship ? Man your story is hard to be honest But you need to focus on her not him . Will she stand by you and fight in your side ,? Or you will fight someone will run away and leave you alone?
I wish you the best and I hope everything will be fine

[bunnyhabit]

she seems to be still in love with him and likes his macho lifestyle she may be using you to tame him to be more benevolent to her before getting back together for the seventh time. you need to get some romantic commitments from her starting with no contact with her ex. visit with his offsprings should be held at another location like his mother home without your girlfriend being present. you need to separate them as much as possible to have any opportunity for a long relationship. she needs to show everyone that you are the only man in her life by avoiding contact other guys including her ex. if she won't make this effort you should move on to a more beneficial relationship with someone else.