Financial stuff

[Kicking_Horse]

Hi. My bf and I have been dating for 4 years. We are in our 40s. When I met him his mom was doing all his financial stuff. This was started due to some medical issues he was having. These medical issues are gone .I've struggled with him to become financially independent. I thought I had been successful. I've voiced numerous times to him that this was important .

We bought a piece of land together. I told him that his mom going into his bank account had to stop because now she would now be seeing my financial stuff, which is our loan balance. He said she doesn't go in anymore.

Fast forward 4 months or so to today. I find out she was in his account to pay his house insurance! I'm hurt because I thought this had ended. I'm hurt because like I told him again, a relationship should consist of 2 people, not 3 and he should be asking me for financial help if he doesn't understand how to pay a bill, not her. And I'm hurt because he lied to me.

I confronted him, long story short, his reply is "I don't see what the big deal is".

So, everyone, hopefully guys and gals will reply. Am I out to lunch in my expectations? What would you do? How do I get through to him??

Thank you.

[Roy]

I think your boyfriend still act like a child, and isn't mature in his actions. Now, that you have told him you aren't happy about him lying to you, hope this doesn't happen again. If this happens again, then you might to stop having a joint account with him.

[Judith]

It seems your boyfriend is a mummy's boy. He needs to realize he's in a relationship with you and not his mom. So, if he keeps doing this, you need to stop sharing your financial information with him.