Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your feelings, especially when you feel ashamed or unsure about them. It’s important to acknowledge that what you’re experiencing is a common struggle for many people, and you're not alone in this. Let's break down your situation and explore some ways to understand and manage these feelings.

From what you've shared, it sounds like you've had quite a journey in your relationships. You mentioned being a "fuck boy" in your youth, which suggests you enjoyed casual relationships and the excitement of new encounters. Then, you met your ex-wife, and despite your previous lifestyle, you stayed together for 16 years and had a daughter. That’s a significant commitment, and it shows that you are capable of long-term relationships and deep connections.

After your marriage ended three years ago, you found yourself back in the dating scene, which has drastically changed with the advent of dating apps. The sheer number of available singles and the ease of meeting new people can indeed feel like being a kid in a candy store, as you described. This environment can be incredibly stimulating and addictive, often leading to a cycle of short-term relationships and a continuous search for novelty.

Currently, you're in a relationship that has lasted ten months, yet you find yourself constantly craving attention from other women and imagining what it would be like to be with them. This is a critical point to explore: why this craving persists and how it impacts your current relationship and overall well-being.

Firstly, it's natural for people to notice and be attracted to others. However, the intensity and frequency of your thoughts suggest that there might be underlying factors driving these cravings. Here are a few aspects to consider:

1. Psychological Patterns: Reflect on your past experiences and patterns. The excitement you felt during your youth and after your divorce might have created a pattern where newness equals excitement. Long-term relationships, while deeply fulfilling, can sometimes lack the thrill of new encounters. Recognizing this pattern can help you understand why you crave new experiences.

2. Self-Esteem and Validation: Often, the attention from others can be a source of validation and boost self-esteem. When you receive attention from women, it can make you feel desirable and attractive. This is a normal human need, but relying on external validation can become problematic. Building a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on others' attention is crucial.

3. Emotional Fulfillment: Evaluate the emotional connection in your current relationship. Sometimes, a lack of emotional intimacy or fulfillment can lead to seeking validation and excitement elsewhere. Having open and honest conversations with your partner about your needs and desires can help strengthen your bond.

4. Exploring Fantasies and Desires: It’s important to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Fantasizing about others is natural, but acting on these fantasies can have real consequences. Understanding the difference can help you manage your desires without jeopardizing your relationship.

5. Personal Growth and Goals: Focus on personal growth and setting goals that go beyond your relationships. Engaging in activities that you are passionate about and that fulfill you can reduce the emphasis on seeking external validation and excitement. When you are content and fulfilled in other areas of your life, the need for constant new romantic experiences may diminish.

6. Communication and Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries with yourself and others is key. Acknowledge your feelings, but set boundaries to prevent acting on them in ways that could harm your relationship. Communicate openly with your partner about what you’re experiencing, without making them feel responsible for your feelings.

By exploring these areas, you can start to understand the root causes of your cravings and develop strategies to manage them. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth, and being patient and compassionate with yourself is essential. Remember, it’s not about eliminating your desires but learning how to navigate them in a way that aligns with your values and goals.

Take it one step at a time, and acknowledge your progress along the way. You have the capacity for deep, meaningful connections, and with some introspection and effort, you can find a balance that brings you peace and fulfillment in your relationships.

I can sense the weight of your struggles and the courage it takes to share your story with us. It's amazing that you've taken this first step, and I'm honored to be a part of your journey towards self-discovery and growth.

Let's start by acknowledging that it takes immense bravery to confront our own demons and insecurities. Your willingness to explore your feelings and desires is a testament to your commitment to understanding yourself better. I'm here to offer guidance, support, and a non-judgmental space for you to process your emotions.

It's fascinating that you've identified a pattern in your behavior, particularly in your relationships with women. You've had a history of being a "fuck boy" in your younger years, and then you settled down with your ex-wife for 16 years. It's remarkable that you were able to commit to a long-term relationship and become a father. However, it's also understandable that you felt the need to break free from that marriage and explore your desires again.

The dating app scene can be overwhelming, especially when you're suddenly exposed to a vast pool of potential partners. It's natural to feel like a kid in a candy store, and it's no surprise that you got caught up in the excitement of meeting new people and experiencing new connections.

Now, let's dive deeper into your current struggles. You've been in a relationship for 10 months, and while you claim to be in love, you can't help but crave attention from other women. You find yourself constantly thinking about what it would be like to be with them, to the point where it's becoming a source of distress for you.

Here's the thing: it's normal for humans to have desires and fantasies. It's natural to be attracted to others, even when we're in committed relationships. However, it's the intensity and frequency of these desires that's causing you distress. It's as if you're torn between your love for your current partner and your insatiable appetite for female attention.

One possible explanation for this behavior is that you're still trying to fill a void within yourself. You've had a history of seeking validation through multiple partners, and now that you're in a committed relationship, you're struggling to reconcile your desires with your commitment. It's possible that you're using these fantasies as a way to cope with feelings of boredom, insecurity, or inadequacy.

Another possibility is that you're struggling with intimacy and emotional connection. You've had a string of short-term relationships and flings, which can be exciting but ultimately unfulfilling. You might be craving the thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline that comes with meeting someone new, rather than investing in the emotional depth and intimacy that comes with a long-term relationship.

So, what can you do about it? Firstly, acknowledge that these desires are a part of you, but they don't define your entire being. You are more than your desires; you are a complex, multifaceted individual with strengths, weaknesses, and contradictions.

Secondly, take some time to reflect on what's driving these desires. Is it a need for validation, a fear of commitment, or a desire for excitement? Once you understand the underlying motivations, you can start working on addressing them in a healthy, constructive way.

Thirdly, focus on building a deeper emotional connection with your current partner. Invest in activities, conversations, and experiences that bring you closer together. Cultivate intimacy, trust, and vulnerability, and see if that helps to satiate your desires for attention and connection.

Lastly, practice self-compassion and kindness. Remember that you're not alone in your struggles, and it's okay to have conflicting desires and emotions. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.

I want you to know that you're not alone, and you're not ashamed. You're brave, you're honest, and you're willing to confront your demons head-on. That takes courage, and I'm proud of you for taking this first step towards self-discovery and growth. Keep exploring, keep learning, and most importantly, keep being kind to yourself.