The "Mr. Nice Guy" problem is a super-confusing one to a lot of guys.

Some of you are thinking that you've got to completely stop being a decent, law-abiding human being and be more like that bounty-hunter guy from Raising Arizona, or something.

Well, if you've ever seen the movie, the Coen brothers didn't exactly write a scene where he gets mobbed by supermodels into the script.

Nevertheless, there's a line of thinking out there somewhere that seems to indicate that in order to kill "Mr. Nice Guy" stuff you've got to let the proverbial pendulum swing the other way...completely.

Here are a half-dozen examples of ways guys go about dealing with the "Mr. Nice Guy" problem in a completely wrong-headed way:


1) Never Complimenting Her...Ever

Oh, man...the old-school pickup gurus used to LOVE to repeat this one.

And hey, I get it. I really do.

I mean, just look at any reasonably good-looking woman's Facebook timeline. Anytime she posts a bikini pic or a "little black dress" pic and asks, "Whaddaya boyz think of my new [earrings/manicure/dress/boob job]?", what's the result?

You betcha...a bunch of lame, if not downright sniveling replies from desperate wanna-bes who'll NEVER have a chance with her.

So then, let's put 2+2 together here. Pickup teaching tends to draw guys who have absolutely ZERO success with women.

You just can't get too complicated when that's the case. So in the interest of keeping it simple and giving those guys a fair chance at step one, they just throw a blanket on the whole issue: "Look, man...just friggin' STOP complimenting women, okay?"

The problem there is that once guys get to, say, step two and beyond, nobody bothers to pull back the veil and reveal how it's actually a good idea to give a woman some semblance of reassurance or even (gasp!) approval once you get to know her better.

One major secret to complimenting a woman the right way is to be truthful about it, which is always more credible than the feeble flattery proffered by the supplicative, desperate "nice guy".


2) Not Reciprocating Favors Or Other Nice Things She Does

Again, the underlying idea behind this originates from a similar place as #1 above.

We're taught to stop trying to "buy" women's affections with gifts and stuff.

Fair enough. Doing that really does backfire. Women will only become truly attracted to you if you're the primary potential benefit to her in hanging out with you.

But geez, dude...once you've got a sweetheart of a girlfriend who adores you, gives you backrubs and cooks picadillo and Mexican rice from scratch stuff's gotta change.

The problem is that "nice guys", if their brown-nosing tactics ever work at all, only end up feeding "takers". So it's a "lose/lose", whatever happens.

If you're dating a "giver" then it's time to reward her for that. You can't just be a "taker" yourself, man. That's just simple logic.

This is the real world. Eventually, good women get sick of being taken advantage of like everyone else who's got any sense of self-respect. If you never, ever do anything good for her she's going to split.


3) Artificial Jerkiness

This one is as simple as it gets. I'm betting the two words above alone give you a crystal-clear idea of what I'm referring to here.

Just about the worst thing you can do if you think you're too "nice" is to suddenly start acting as if you were an I/J (idiot/jerk).

Know this: Lacking authenticity never works.

Remember, the "nice guy's" problem isn't that he's nice, really. It's the agenda behind the actions. Be a decent guy who rolls with the flow without being so dependent on the outcome of a simple conversation with a woman.

If you can do that, a lot of your problems will be solved.


4) Replacing Neediness With Being A Douche

Another fascinating (but pathetic) manifestation of the whole "pendulum effect" is as follows.

A guy recognizes that he's been too needy and supplicative, putting women on pedestals and basically begging them for attention.

Well, enough of that, right? Instead he decides he's going to be TOO cool for anyone else--including the very women he'd love to attract.

Unfortunately, he's not necessarily cooler than everyone else. He's just acting that way.

And the very definition of "douche" is "someone who thinks and acts like he's a lot cooler than he really is".

Let's face it--show-offy approval seeking that becomes an arrogant, ostentatious display is still, well...approval seeking.

Suffice it to say that figurative d-bags see FAR less action with women than the literal version.


5) Instead Of Fearing Loss, Becoming Completely Indifferent

It really is fear that causes the lion's share of "Mr. Nice Guy" behavior. Fear that you're not good enough, fear of "rejection", etc.

So what do some guys do in an attempt to combat the issue? You got it...they flip the switch and decide to decide to completely cut off.

After all, that way his fear and insecurities won't be so obvious, right?

Well, this brand of "indifference", even if it intrigues a woman in the short-term, is NOT going to contribute to happy times over the longer term.

Essentially, having a man "go cold" and/or "pull away" is a woman's worst nightmare.

In fact, that's something that a LOT of women's dating advice products try to deal with.

So, you could say that on one level it actually works since it really causes a woman to obsess over you some.

But it doesn't make her happy. If she isn't happy, don't expect a great relationship.


6) Bedroom Selfishness

If any man thinks a wildly fulfilling sex life comes from expecting a woman to be his "sex slave" without ever deriving any pleasure from it herself, then he's got a world of hurt coming to him.

It's really that simple.