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  • I want her back

    RomanceDictionary.com
    So my ex and I broke up a year ago but we still pretended to dated till the end of 1-21-17 so we were together as a relationship for a year and kept going for two. I met her in high school 9- 12 became her best friends. I wanted to marry her and she did as well but I didn't realize what I had till I broke up with her and by the end of our senior year she moved from Florida to Kentucky. I want to get back with her Bc I truely love her. I took the time to go through the heart break and did everything wrong. Now it's been 5 months in their relationship that she met him on tinder and now all I just want to know is... How do I get the girl of my dreams back?

  • #2
    First, let's look at how most men approach this situation. When a man suddenly sees his girl with another man after a breakup, his first reaction is almost always jealousy. It's a natural reaction when you see a girl you love in the arms of another man, but failure to control this jealousy can ruin every last chance you have to get her back. Relax and stay under control.

    If you don't relax and stay under control, then you will act in ways that will confirm to your girlfriend that breaking up was the right thing to do. You'll end up trying to start a fight with her and/or the other man. You'll end up calling her or texting her mean and nasty messages that call her a slut, whore, or worse.

    The polar opposite of getting jealous that will also make you look worse in your ex girlfriend's eyes is to start begging and pleading with her to take you back. You might be tempted to tell her how the other guy isn't right for her and you might try to step in by telling her how much you love her and miss her. This will only make you look weak, desperate, and needy. She'll cling to the other man harder and harder.

    These actions will completely ruin any chance you have of winning your ex back. They all portray you as a man no woman will want to be with.

    A much better alternative is to accept the breakup and not interfere with her relationship with someone else. Be patient and let it run its course. Be genuinely happy for her and tell her you hope he takes really good care of her because she shouldn't settle for anything less. Then, simply back away and stay out of it.

    By understanding the dynamics of a rebound relationship, you'll realize it's very unlikely this is the man she'll end up with. More than likely it's her way of dealing with the heartache of breaking up with you. She's likely lonely and it just makes her feel good to be wanted again even though he's probably not at all the type of guy she truly wants.

    If you give it time and don't do anything to make matters worse for yourself, then more often than not, you'll get your chance to get back together.

    Comment


    • Dkoenigsberg
      Dkoenigsberg commented
      Editing a comment
      Well is five months going on six still a rebound? Bc we broke up a year ago and she moved a year ago, but we still talked over the phone and did things as a couple till january. Also, she lives in Kentucky while I'm in Florida. So do you really think her and I will come back?

  • #3
    In order to begin your quest to right the past you have to swallow your pride and admit your mistakes. If you now realize that pushing your girlfriend away was the worst thing you could have done, tell her. Be honest with her without being an emotional wreck. Tell her that you regret what happened and that you're sincerely sorry for the pain you caused her. Don't expect her to forgive you on the spot. You rejected her and even with an amazing and heartfelt apology it will take time for her to feel close to you again.

    You also have to change the way you've been treating her. You have a huge mountain to climb in terms of showing her how much she truly does mean to you. That means making an effort each day to become a better person for her. Be kind to her and demonstrate to her that you can be a compassionate and caring friend. Allow her the chance to vent to you about how you made her feel and don't try and tell her that the past is in the past. Her feelings are very much in the present and they need to be acknowledged and respected.

    Don't try and rush her through forgiving you or forgetting what happened. Being rejected by the person you love is a very hard thing to get past. She needs to reach a place within herself in which she believes that you're sincere about wanting to change and about promising to treat her differently this time. Just give her the opportunity to share what she feels and also what she needs from you. If you take it slowly and allow your actions to speak for you, she'll move past the hurt and will start to see the man she once loved so much in you again.

    Comment


    • Dkoenigsberg
      Dkoenigsberg commented
      Editing a comment
      So should I reach out and talk to her? Or just let her enjoy her new relationship and respect it? She lives in Kentucky now where I live in Florida.

  • #4
    The very first step you have to take is to be honest with yourself. Ignoring the fact won't do you any good, and will hurt your chances of success. Your relationship with your wife has ended. The FIRST relationship. The one that didn't work out so well. If you can't come to terms with this fact, you simply can't move on.

    That relationship had problems that you just couldn't overcome. Do you want to go back to the same kind of relationship that you were in before? The one with all of the trouble, and frustration? Or do you want a GOOD relationship - one that you will BOTH be happy in? To do this, you must start a NEW relationship with your ex wife.

    Don't forget about the good times that the two of you had together, though. Remembering those times will give you the strength to do whatever it takes to win her love back. You CAN have good times with your ex wife again. Make NEW memories. The new relationship will have all of the things that your first one was missing, and won't have the problems that the first one did, because you learned from the past, and won't let it happen in the future.

    What was happening in your marriage? What were the problems that you were facing? Don't try to hide anything, it won't do anything but harm. Be totally honest with yourself and really think about this. The reason for this is so you can make sure that the same things don't happen in your new relationship.

    If your marriage ended recently, you are both still hurting. You both have gone through a hard time, and have to take some time to get over the pain. If this is true, then you absolutely have to give the pain and hurt enough time to pass. It will. You shouldn't even try to get your ex wife back if you both are still suffering from the past. If you do, your chances of getting her back will be slim to none.

    What you can do now is to give your ex wife and yourself some time. I'm not talking months and years, just enough time so that you can both cool down. To get past the hurt and anger, so you will be able to start over.

    If you go too fast, it will only make a deep wound get deeper. You may get her back for a little while, but the same things will happen, and you will be back to square one again. Only this time, your chances of winning her back won't be as good as they are now.

    You will probably see her around town. You don't have to try to avoid her. Go ahead and say hi to her, ask her how she's doing. If she pretends to ignore you, or runs the other way, don't let it bother you too much. She is still hurting from the breakup.

    This is a very normal reaction at first. She will know, though, that you did try talking to her. She will, if only subconsciously, start to think about being with you. Do yourself a huge favor, and never try to force her to talk to you. She will, but only when she's ready.

    Put yourself in her shoes - would you want her to try to push you, when you just weren't ready? Wouldn't that make you even more angry? She (and you) need time to adjust right now. Now that you've tried to talk to her, you've made her aware that you still love her. By not pushing the subject, you've shown her that you truly care about how she feels.

    When she sees that you are willing to give her the space and time she needs to heal, she will remember how much love there is between you. When you take this at a steady pace, and not try to push her, she WILL talk to you, and you both will be able to talk to each other without the extreme tension.

    Comment


    • #5
      Just let her know that you are guilty on your behaviour and want her back now because you love her.

      Comment


      • #6
        RomanceDictionary.com
        If you get her back, make sure you never ever take her for granted again otherwise you will lose her forever

        Comment

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