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My girlfriend wants to take in her 10 yr old sibling



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  • My girlfriend wants to take in her 10 yr old sibling

    I have been dating my girlfriend for three years now. I’m 25 and she’s 23 respectively she has a full time job but she’s not making terribly much and I’m in law school working part time jobs. We are not well off but we’re not in complete squaler. We have a roommate to offset rent. I say this because she wants have her 10 yr old brother stay with us. Her father is not the best guy and her mother is gone most of the time. She wants to take him in for a while so that her mom can settle things with her dad. I don’t know how long and while he’s a great kid and I love my girlfriend I don’t know what to do. Obviously she can do what she wants but she’s asked if i could help financially and put in a time commitment. I love her and he’s a good kid but I don’t know right now if it’s a great idea to take care of a kid right now. Financially I’d have to get another job and thus further strain me as I have law school to deal with. I want to help but I feel like this may be a huge strain on me it’s her brother and I know family is important and she’ll do what she wants I guess I just want some advice as to what I should do.

  • #2
    I'd talk to her about your concerns if I were you. And I don't think you should have to take on an extra job and take your attention away from school.

    Realistically do you think her parents are going to sort things out if they don't have the kid? And if you guys are going to take him, shouldn't they help finance the move, and pay you two child support, if they're benefitting from the arrangement and now wont have to support him- especially because they probably get a child tax from the government, which should then go to you, on top of regular child support? I think you guys need to have a conversation about a lot of details before you consider this.

    And no, it's not a matter of "she'll do what she wants," you two live together, as does the other person in the apartment. She can't just bring a kid into the dynamic without clearing things with each of you first, legally, because you all contribute to the rent. But also ethnically, because you two have been going out for three years, she should respect your opinion and not just "do what she wants" regardless of your feelings on the matter, especially if she is counting on your time and money to help.


    • #3
      You know that if your girlfriend brings in her kid brother it will strain you financially, you should oppose her decision to bring in her brother. If your girlfriend was financially capable to take care of her brother it won't be a problem, but the reverse is the case as she wants to financially strain you considering the fact that you are in law school. I strongly suggest your kick against her move to bring in her brother, after all you are just a boyfriend and not a husband.


      • #4
        I will advice you talk to your girlfriend about this, and let her know why it won't be a good idea take in her younger brother.