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Hi! I'am new hear hoping you can give me an advice. Thank you



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  • Hi! I'am new hear hoping you can give me an advice. Thank you

    I have been dating a girl for 7 months, she now lived in my parent's house. Even we are in my parent's house our budget is separate from the,food and utilities. My parents don't have any problem with our setup. The problem my the girl I date changed after she lived in my parent's house. She becomes lazy to everything such cleaning, cooking even wake up in the morning. And one time she complains about our food she says the I cook only fried food and canned food and i reply if you can wake up in the morning and help me preparing things possible i can cook appropriate dish. Now she mad at me at she say she is no longer eat all the food im going to cook and she's living the house and go to company staff house. The way she saying those words it look like she did not appreciate all my effort don't know im going to do right now? do i need to let her go?

  • #2
    It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation. Transitioning into living together can often bring about unexpected changes in a relationship dynamic, and it's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and unsure of what to do next.

    First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and concerns. It seems like you've put a lot of effort into accommodating your girlfriend's needs, especially with regards to cooking and household responsibilities. However, her change in behavior and attitude since moving in with your parents is causing distress for both of you.

    Communication is key in any relationship, especially when addressing issues like this one. It's essential to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about how you both are feeling and what changes need to be made moving forward. Express your concerns calmly and respectfully, focusing on your observations and how her actions have affected you.

    Listen to her perspective as well. Try to understand her feelings and any underlying reasons for her behavior. Moving in with your parents may have triggered certain emotions or stressors for her that she hasn't been able to articulate yet.

    When discussing household responsibilities, it's important to establish clear expectations and boundaries. You can create a chore schedule or divide tasks based on each person's strengths and preferences. By working together as a team, you can ensure that both of you are contributing to the household in a fair and equitable manner.

    Regarding the food situation, it's understandable that you're feeling hurt by your girlfriend's comments. Cooking meals can be a labor of love, and it's disheartening when your efforts are not appreciated. However, it's also important to consider her perspective and dietary preferences. You can try exploring new recipes together that cater to both of your tastes and nutritional needs.

    Ultimately, whether or not to let go of the relationship is a decision only you can make. It's important to consider the overall health and happiness of both parties involved. If you feel like the relationship is no longer fulfilling or if your needs are consistently not being met, it may be time to reassess the situation.

    However, before making any drastic decisions, I would encourage you to seek counseling or therapy together. A professional counselor can help facilitate productive communication and provide strategies for resolving conflicts in a healthy manner.

    Remember, relationships require effort and compromise from both partners. It's okay to encounter bumps along the way, but it's how you navigate through them together that truly matters. Take the time to reflect on what you want and need from the relationship, and don't hesitate to seek support from loved ones or professionals if necessary. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, appreciated, and respected.


    • #3
      I understand that you're facing some challenges in your relationship, and it's important to address these issues in a healthy and constructive manner. It can be difficult when living arrangements change and expectations shift, but with open communication and understanding, you may be able to find a resolution that works for both of you.

      Firstly, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about the concerns you've mentioned. Find a calm and comfortable setting where you can both express your feelings without distractions. Approach the conversation with empathy and avoid blaming or criticizing her. Instead, focus on using "I" statements to express how her behavior has impacted you and your relationship, such as saying, "I feel overwhelmed when I have to handle all the cooking and cleaning on my own."

      During the discussion, try to actively listen to her perspective as well. Ask questions to better understand her feelings and motivations behind her behavior. It's possible that there may be underlying reasons for her change in behavior, such as stress, unhappiness, or a lack of fulfillment. By actively listening, you can gain insights into her perspective and work together to find solutions.

      When it comes to the issue of cooking, it's important to acknowledge that cooking can be time-consuming and demanding. If you're the only one responsible for meal preparation, it's understandable that you may opt for quick and easy options like fried or canned food. However, it's also important to prioritize healthy and nutritious meals.

      One possible solution is to establish a shared responsibility for cooking and meal planning. Discuss the idea of creating a meal schedule or taking turns preparing meals. This way, both of you can contribute to the cooking process and ensure a variety of healthy options. You could also explore the possibility of taking cooking classes together or finding new recipes that you can both enjoy.

      Regarding her complaints and the way she expressed her dissatisfaction, it's important to address the issue of communication within your relationship. It's understandable that you felt hurt by her words, as it may have seemed like she didn't appreciate your efforts. However, it's equally important to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to understand her underlying emotions.

      Encourage open and respectful communication between the two of you. Express how her words made you feel and explain that effective communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Encourage her to express her concerns and frustrations in a constructive manner, and let her know that you're willing to listen and work together to find solutions.

      Ultimately, whether or not to continue the relationship is a decision only you can make. It's important to consider the overall health and happiness of both individuals involved. If you find that the issues in your relationship are consistently causing unhappiness and frustration, it may be worth reevaluating whether you're both compatible in the long term.

      In any case, it's always beneficial to seek professional help from a relationship counselor or therapist. They can provide unbiased guidance and support to help you navigate these challenges and make informed decisions.

      Remember, relationships require effort, compromise, and understanding from both parties. By fostering open communication and seeking solutions together, you can increase the chances of finding a resolution that works for both of you.