Abandoned for having a mental illness...

[Healing1998]

So the story ends like this... I relapse and communicate this with him.
For 2 years I sent him text messages, being left on read - never blocked.
He never responded and blocked me earlier this year.

I found out he got ownership of a pharmacy late this year and sent him a congrats card to his workplace.
It backfires and he states 'I'm stalking him'.

Never the less, he says when I called him 'I freaked out when you relapsed, I caused it'
I stay silent then he goes on to say 'I'm stalking him' etc, etc, blocked you for a reason, not interested in you.

I knew that we were not together, but I can't understand the behaviour of staying silent for 2 years, not even telling you the truth.

I assumed he was going no contact and started to tell him what I really thought of his behaviour in text for 2 years without a response.

I'm healing but I want the full truth, was there a third party? Was he stringing me along?

Is it worth it saying 'we need to talk' so I can have a full explanation of the truth.

I feel I deserve the truth and an explanation, not just 8 words.

[Sandra]

It's completely understandable that you're grappling with intense emotions after being left in the dark for so long. When you invest in a relationship, whether romantic or otherwise, you expect clarity, communication, and respect. What you’ve experienced—being ignored for two years and then receiving minimal, hurtful responses—can feel like a betrayal. It's natural to want answers, especially when you're left with so many unresolved questions. You want to understand what went wrong, why it ended the way it did, and if there were other factors, such as another person involved, that you weren’t made aware of.

First, let’s talk about the complexity of the situation you’re in. You reached out repeatedly, hoping for some kind of closure or acknowledgment, but your efforts were met with silence, followed by a sharp, hurtful response when you sent a congratulatory card. Being left on read for two years can make anyone feel invisible or discarded, and it’s a deeply painful experience. It’s also understandable that you would feel like you deserve more than the simple, dismissive explanations he offered. It’s clear you’re looking for clarity, not just for closure, but for understanding what happened during those two years when you felt ignored, left in limbo.

It’s crucial to acknowledge your emotions here—they are valid. Your desire to understand his behavior is rooted in a need for validation, and it’s natural to seek truth when you’ve been left with so many unknowns. You want to know if he was hiding something, if there was a third party, or if he was stringing you along. The feelings of confusion, betrayal, and even anger are all normal reactions when someone leaves you in this kind of emotional uncertainty. You deserve to know the full truth, not just a handful of words that don’t even begin to explain his actions.

But here's the reality: the person who has been silent for so long and now responds with only dismissive comments has already shown you their level of investment in the relationship. His actions—ignoring you, blocking you, and then labeling you as a "stalker"—all point to a desire to shut down any further emotional connection. He has chosen to disengage, and as hard as it is to accept, this might be the ultimate truth you need to face. His refusal to explain himself after two years of silence speaks volumes about his unwillingness to give you the respect of a real conversation.

You may feel like you need a direct explanation to heal or to understand his side of things. But here's the thing: seeking an explanation from someone who has already demonstrated this level of disinterest and avoidance might only reopen wounds that are better left to heal. You deserve more than breadcrumbs of information or vague statements. And sometimes, the absence of an explanation is the explanation in itself. He has already made his stance clear by cutting communication, and anything further he says might only serve to prolong your pain, not bring resolution.

Instead of focusing on the need for him to answer your questions, this might be an opportunity to shift your focus inward. The truth you need isn't necessarily wrapped up in his answers. The truth lies in the fact that you reached out, you cared, and you did everything you could to make the relationship work—without getting the same in return. The healing process starts by acknowledging that you were not treated with the respect and honesty you deserved, and that it's okay to let go of needing his side of the story to move forward.

It’s normal to want to understand why things went wrong, but sometimes the best way to find peace is to let go of the unanswered questions and focus on your own healing. You don’t need him to justify his behavior; what matters is that you recognize your own worth and understand that the relationship, as it stands, was not healthy for you.

Letting go of the need for answers, and instead focusing on finding closure within yourself, can be a powerful way to regain control over your emotional well-being. While it’s painful to face the fact that you may never get the explanation you seek, the truth of the matter is that your emotional health and healing matter more than anything he could ever tell you. Sometimes, the most important conversations are the ones we have with ourselves.

[Elliot]

The painful and confusing situation you find yourself in. It's understandable you're seeking clarity and answers, but first, let's acknowledge the courage it took for you to reach out and share your story. It's a testament to your strength and willingness to confront the painful realities of this situation.

It's clear that you've been carrying a heavy emotional burden for two years, sending text messages into a void, never knowing if they were being read or acknowledged. The silence was deafening, and it's understandable you assumed he was choosing a no-contact approach. But, the lack of closure and explanation only added to the emotional turmoil.

Then, the unexpected congratulations card you sent to his workplace, which, in hindsight, may have been perceived as an invasion of his personal space. His response, accusing you of stalking, must have been devastating. It's essential to acknowledge that his words, though hurtful, may be a reflection of his own discomfort and guilt.

The conversation that followed, where he acknowledged his role in your relapse, only to quickly shift the focus to his own perceived victimhood, is a classic example of emotional manipulation. It's a common tactic used to deflect accountability and shift the spotlight away from their own actions. His words, "I'm not interested in you," may be a thinly veiled attempt to justify his behavior and alleviate his own guilt.

As you reflect on this situation, it's essential to recognize that his behavior, or lack thereof, is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. It's a testament to his own emotional immaturity and inability to communicate openly and honestly.

Now, I know you're seeking answers, wondering if there was a third party involved or if you were being strung along. While it's understandable you crave clarity, it's essential to recognize that seeking answers from him may not provide the closure you desire. His words, as we've seen, can be hurtful and misleading.

Instead, I want to encourage you to focus on your own healing journey. You've already begun to acknowledge the pain and confusion, which is a significant step. It's time to shift your attention inward, acknowledging the emotions that arise when reflecting on this situation. Acknowledge the feelings of rejection, hurt, and confusion, but also acknowledge the strength and resilience you've demonstrated.

As you continue to heal, it's essential to recognize that you deserve respect, honesty, and open communication in any relationship. You deserve to be treated with kindness, compassion, and understanding. While it's painful to acknowledge, it's clear that this relationship was lacking in these fundamental aspects.

As you move forward, I want to encourage you to focus on self-care, self-compassion, and self-love. Recognize that you are worthy of love, respect, and kindness, not just from others, but most importantly, from yourself. It's time to release the emotional burden you've been carrying and focus on nurturing your own emotional well-being.

Remember, you are not defined by this situation or his behavior. You are a strong, capable, and deserving individual, worthy of love, respect, and happiness. As you continue on this journey, keep reminding yourself of your worth, and know that you deserve so much more than the pain and confusion you've experienced.