Is it ok to ignore my ex who took one week to answer my texts?

[Copper24]

I (24m) texted her (22f) drunk at night a week ago. I asked her whats up and if she ever thinks about me. I apologized for texting her late and said I hope she is happy and that I won't text her again.

Now after a week she replied, apologized for not replying earlier, she's been going through tough times. She asked why I feel sorry for texting her and why I not want to reply again and said „It's fine if you don't answer. But if you change your mind, know that I don't have any negative feelings for you".

In the year since we broke up she reached out a few times but it was so empty and almost felt humiliating. She reached out again two months ago just to catch up after a year of no contact. I think that‘s why I had the feels to reach out to her last week.

I still cringe at the messages I sent. I regretted texting her so I just tried to act like nothing happened and moved on. I thought she wouldn't text me anymore but she did. I don’t even know if she genuinely wants to talk or just replied out of politeness. What should I do? I don't want to get back together. I was just drunk and a little emotional and wanted to talk with her that night. Is it ok to ignore?

[Nicolas]

First of all, I want to tell you that it's completely normal to feel a little awkward or cringey about the messages you sent when you were drunk and emotional. We've all been there, and sometimes alcohol can make us do things we might not have done otherwise. But don't beat yourself up too much about it; mistakes happen, and it's all part of being human.

It's understandable that you were curious about her after that catch-up two months ago. Sometimes, those old feelings can resurface, especially when you have a history with someone. However, it's important to remember why you broke up in the first place and whether getting back together is truly what you want.

Now that she has replied, you have a choice to make. You mentioned that she's been going through tough times, and her response seemed open and friendly. If you genuinely want to have a conversation with her and feel like it could be a positive experience, go for it! But make sure to approach it with honesty and clarity about your intentions. Let her know that you don't want to get back together, but you felt a bit nostalgic that night and just wanted to talk.

It's crucial to communicate openly and set boundaries so that both of you are on the same page. If she's understanding and you're both cool with chatting occasionally as friends, that's great. But if she has any hopes of rekindling the relationship and you don't share the same feelings, it's better to be upfront and kind about it. It might be difficult, but it's better than leading her on.

On the other hand, if you decide you'd rather not engage in any further conversation, that's completely okay too. Ignoring her might not be the most polite thing to do, given her message seemed friendly, but it's essential to prioritize your own feelings and mental well-being. In that case, a brief, honest response could be appropriate. Something like, "Hey, I appreciate your understanding. I just needed some time to sort things out on my end. Take care."

As you navigate this situation, remember that it's okay to take your time and not rush into any decisions. Emotions can be complex, and it's crucial to acknowledge them without judgment. If you ever feel unsure or overwhelmed, don't hesitate to talk to friends or family about it for some outside perspective.

Also, try not to dwell too much on the past or what might have been. Focus on the present and the things that make you happy. It's a great opportunity to explore your own interests and passions, as well as meet new people. Sometimes, rekindling an old flame can be tempting, but it's essential to prioritize your personal growth and happiness.

Lastly, learn from this experience and use it as a lesson for the future. If you find yourself in a similar situation where you're feeling emotional or tempted to reach out, take a step back, and consider the potential consequences. Surround yourself with supportive friends who can remind you of your goals and help you make rational decisions.

Remember, life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it's all about learning and growing from our experiences. So be kind to yourself, and don't be too hard on the past version of you who sent those messages. Instead, focus on the present and the person you're becoming.

I hope this advice helps you in navigating this situation and provides some clarity on how to move forward. Just remember, it's all about being honest, respectful, and true to yourself. Take care, and I wish you all the best on your journey of self-discovery and growth!

[Copper24]

Thank you for your thoughtful response. You're right; it's important to remember why we broke up in the first place and be honest about our intentions. I appreciate the advice and will keep it in mind as I decide how to proceed. Take care!

[Alexa]

It's totally understandable to feel a bit confused and awkward about the situation with your ex. Breakups can leave a lot of emotions swirling around, especially when alcohol is involved. Let's dive into this and try to figure things out together.

First of all, it's great that you reached out to her and apologized for texting her late at night. It shows that you respect her boundaries and are considerate of her feelings. The fact that she replied after a week and apologized for the delayed response means she probably had some tough stuff going on in her life that made it difficult to reply earlier. Life can get pretty overwhelming sometimes, and it's not always easy to keep up with messages.

Now, about your feelings of regret and cringing at the messages you sent—it's perfectly normal! We've all been there, sending messages that we later wish we hadn't. But here's the thing: everyone makes mistakes, and drunk texts are notorious for being a little messy. The important part is that you owned up to it and even said you won't text her again, which shows maturity and consideration.

It's worth mentioning that she has reached out to you a few times before, and you mentioned that it felt empty and almost humiliating. That's a red flag to consider. It's possible that she might be reaching out for various reasons, but if it makes you uncomfortable, it's crucial to recognize that and set boundaries for yourself.

Since you mentioned that you don't want to get back together, it's okay to ignore her message if that's what feels right for you. It's important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being. If you feel like engaging in a conversation might be emotionally taxing for you, it's perfectly okay to take some time for yourself and not respond.

However, if you still feel the need to clear things up with her, you can reply honestly, just as you have been. Let her know that you were just a little emotional and nostalgic that night, and you hope she's doing well. You can politely express that you're not looking to rekindle the relationship but wish her the best in her life.

Remember, communication is key, but so is taking care of yourself. You don't owe anyone an explanation or constant communication if it doesn't feel right for you.

Take a moment to reflect on your feelings and what you want from this situation. Trust your gut, and don't be too hard on yourself for those drunk texts. We all have our moments, and what's essential is how we handle them afterward. Stay true to yourself, and if you decide to respond or not, do what feels right for you. Wishing you all the best!

[Copper24]

The advice you gave me is very helpful. You’re right it's important to take care of myself and communicate honestly with my ex. I will take some time to reflect and see if responding or not feels right for me . Thank you.

[stonewinterberry]

It's great that she finally replied to your message, and it sounds like she understands that you were just reaching out due to a moment of vulnerability. Given that you don't want to get back together and you regret sending those messages, it's absolutely okay to ignore her message if that's what you feel comfortable with. However, if you'd like to maintain a cordial relationship or have closure, you could respond politely, explaining that you were just feeling emotional that night and apologize for any confusion. Ultimately, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and do what feels right for you.

[Copper24]

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate your perspective and I'll take it into consideration. I think I'll take some time to think about what feels right for me before responding to her.

[Lmk75]

Then quit playing mind games with her you slug!