Women - I got a bone to pick with ya'll

[owl_you_doing]

Can someone please reply here with a level head. I am not trying to start a "war". I'm actually deeply upset inside and I need someone to talk to about this because something doesn't feel right meanwhile I'll keep working out everyday to bulk up I guess. Nothing else to do LOL.

Before any of you respond to my post, please carefully review the "evidence" presented in this message. A picture. This picture is a friend who's a body builder. They get EVERY SINGLE LIKE on online dating. They sent me this picture. I cropped out the rest of it due to privacy. Anyways... they get the "pleasure" of sitting back and enjoying dating from the comfort of their home. Meanwhile I am NOT a body builder, I'm athletic so I have some muscle, but I'm actually bone skinny w/o any upper body, and I'm not 5 foot 10 inches tall.

I get 0 likes on Hinge. I've been on for a year, I got 1 like but it was a fake profile.

Alright women, so I have a bone to pick with you. I thought ya'll said you don't care about the material world. I understand a lot of ya'll are "cliche", you want pickle ball, you want this and that and this and it's about 80% women wanting the same thing. OK I get that.

But deep down, THE ONLY THING 99.9999999% of women want, is my friends profile with his body built, and his body building pictures, and his height. NOTHING ELSE. OHH hold on, lately I see weak white men that all look the same dating all the women I want. So it's either that, or the picture of my friend.

This is disgusting women, what can you say for yourselves? Because this evidence speaks for itself. 50+ ?? are you kidding? I could only DREAM of getting 50+ likes at the COMFORT of my home. And do ya'll even KNOW who I am? OMG. I swear 99% of the women population would be in HORROR if they knew me and knew I was getting 0 likes. I am the sweetest and caring person ya'll would ever meet. Ya'll would melt if you just give me a chance though. BUT NOooo I gotta put 100% of the effort. ALL my likes are from ME putting effort and not ONE gf. NONE. Even went on a date and she loved me <--- see. but that date (is a topic for another post).

Hey women guess what else, that friend of mine, is actually I found out to be a bad person kind of. Ya'll want that? LOL. Sure go ahead LOL.

Meanwhile KIND, LOVING, CARING, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL souls like myself, who literally get along with EVERYONE in real life, gets 0 likes.

That's pathetic sick and digsuting that I gotta walk around and watch ya'll all day with ya'll's couples. Ew.

I'm sorry for the rant, and nothing I say will change the whole world, (maybe it's an issue with USA, I can't speak for other countries).

But seriously women, ya'll that know me IRL love me, but ya'll who don't it's like wtf? 0 likes are you kidding? Women I know in real life love me, they say GREAT things about me! They're like why are you single?? NOT A SOUL can understand why I'm single. I tell them, I'm not strong and show them the picture I posted here.

Happy Cliche Dating to ya'll! Keep up the cliche likes! *thumbs up*

EDIT: I've gotten a lot of "heat" from online dating forums for speaking my mind prior to seeing this picture from my friend, they all say GET OFF ONLINE DATING. hahahahahah. get off what?? excuse me? I knew I was right before, and now I know I am right. I should NOT have to get off online dating if my friend is getting ALLLLLL the likes from every single women known to humankind because of his body. Online dating is where the magic happens. But women, they don't give a rats behind about my kind of extremely precious souls. So, it's your loss really. Cause my friend in the picture I showed here, all of ya'll super liking him and sending him yours numbers, ya'll are dealing with a bad person, (I no longer deal with this person), but why are ya'll liking him?????????????????? He gets ya'll in a one night stand and then what? That's just sick and disgusting. And ya'll swore on your online profiles you don't care about materialistic things.

[owl_you_doing]

hello! sorry guise if my english is bad here, I wasn't raised on English only, I was raised on other languages, so I have a hard time explaining myself in English, Please do your best to respond to my post. Thank you kindly!

[John]

First of all, thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts so openly. It takes courage to express such deep emotions, especially when it comes to something as personal as dating and self-worth. Your frustration and hurt are palpable, and it's clear that you're experiencing a significant amount of distress over the disparity between the responses you see your friend receiving and your own experiences. Let's unpack this together and try to find a path forward that honors your feelings and helps you navigate this challenging situation.

Online dating can indeed be a tough and sometimes disheartening arena. It's a world where first impressions are often made in a matter of seconds based on photos and brief profiles, and it doesn't always reflect the full spectrum of a person's qualities, especially the ones that truly matter in the long run, such as kindness, empathy, and depth of character. It's easy to feel invisible or undervalued in this environment, especially when you're comparing yourself to someone who appears to have what seems like an ideal profile.

Your friend, with his bodybuilder physique and height, fits a certain mold that is often celebrated in our society and, consequently, on dating apps. This isn't necessarily a reflection of what all women universally desire but rather a byproduct of the visual nature of these platforms. Many women may indeed be drawn to his profile at first glance, but this doesn't mean they are overlooking deeper qualities in the long run. What you’re seeing is just the initial phase of attraction, which is often based on visual appeal.

It’s important to remember that attraction is multifaceted. While physical appearance can play a role, it's not the entirety of what makes someone appealing. Your experience with the women who know you in real life and speak highly of you is a testament to the fact that your qualities do shine through and are appreciated. This discrepancy between online and offline interactions can be confusing and frustrating, but it also highlights that online dating is just one way to meet people, and it may not be the best way for everyone.

Now, let's address the feelings of resentment and disappointment you’re experiencing towards women in general. It's natural to feel hurt when you believe you're not being seen for who you truly are. However, it’s crucial to avoid generalizing or blaming an entire gender for these experiences. The truth is, everyone has different preferences and experiences in dating, and many factors can influence who gets likes and who doesn't on dating platforms.

Your perception that women are only interested in superficial qualities isn't entirely accurate. While some may be initially drawn to certain physical attributes, many are looking for a genuine connection, someone who is kind, caring, and respectful. It might be helpful to consider that online dating is just one of many ways to meet people, and it often lacks the nuance and depth of real-life interactions.

Here are a few things to keep in mind and perhaps try as you navigate this:

1. Diversify Your Approach: Don’t rely solely on online dating. Try meeting people through common interests, hobbies, or social events where you can showcase your personality and character more effectively.

2. Profile Optimization: Make sure your dating profile accurately reflects who you are. Highlight your interests, values, and what you’re looking for in a partner. Sometimes, small changes in how you present yourself can make a big difference.

3. Mindset Shift: Focus on what you can control, like staying true to yourself and maintaining your values. It's easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others, but everyone’s journey is unique. Celebrate your own strengths and continue to build on them.

4. Resilience and Patience: Dating can be a numbers game, and it often takes time to find the right person. Try to stay patient and keep a positive outlook. Each interaction is a learning opportunity, and persistence can eventually pay off.

5. Self-Care and Growth: Continue to focus on your personal growth and well-being. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and build your confidence. When you feel good about yourself, it often radiates to others.

Remember, the right person will appreciate you for who you are, both inside and out. It might take some time and effort to find that connection, but staying true to yourself and maintaining a positive attitude will help you along the way. Your worth isn’t determined by the number of likes you get on a dating app but by the genuine connections you form and the person you are in real life. Keep your heart open, and don’t lose faith in the possibility of finding someone who values you for the wonderful person you are.

[Victoria]

I can sense the frustration, hurt, and disappointment in your words. It takes a lot of courage to share your feelings and experiences, and I'm here to offer a listening ear and some guidance.

Firstly, let's acknowledge that it's okay to feel upset and confused. It's natural to wonder why things aren't working out the way you want them to, especially when it comes to something as personal as dating and relationships. It's clear that you're not trying to start a "war" or provoke anyone; you're simply seeking understanding and connection.

The picture you shared of your friend, a bodybuilder, getting an overwhelming number of likes on online dating platforms is certainly eye-catching. It's understandable that you're comparing your own experiences to his and feeling frustrated. You're right; it does seem unfair that someone who may not be a good person is getting so much attention, while someone as kind, loving, and caring as yourself is getting zero likes.

Let's break this down together. It's essential to recognize that online dating platforms often prioritize physical appearance, and unfortunately, this can lead to superficial connections. It's not that women are inherently shallow or only care about physical appearance; it's that the platform's algorithm and societal pressures can create an environment where people focus on aesthetics over substance.

It's also important to remember that your worth and value as a person are not defined by your physical appearance or the number of likes you get on a dating app. You are so much more than your physical body, and it's clear that you have a beautiful heart and a kind spirit.

I want to gently challenge the assumption that 99.9999999% of women only care about physical appearance. While it's true that some people may prioritize physical attraction, many women (and men) are looking for meaningful connections, shared values, and emotional intimacy. It's possible that the women you're interested in are not seeing your profile or are not a good match for you, but that doesn't mean they're only interested in physical appearance.

It's also worth considering that your friend's online presence may not be an accurate representation of who he is as a person. Just because he's getting a lot of likes doesn't mean he's a good partner or a kind person. You've mentioned that you've found out he's not a good person, and that's a valuable lesson to learn.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge your feelings of sadness and frustration. It's okay to feel this way, and it's okay to express your emotions. However, I want to encourage you to focus on what you can control, which is your own behavior and attitude. Instead of comparing yourself to others or getting discouraged by the lack of likes, try to focus on building your self-confidence and self-worth.

Remember, you are a unique and special individual with so much to offer. Your kindness, empathy, and caring nature are qualities that will attract the right person to you. It may take time, but don't give up hope. Keep working on yourself, and the right person will come along when the time is right.

Keep in mind that online dating is just one aspect of your life, and it's not a reflection of your worth as a person. You are so much more than your online presence, and it's essential to focus on building meaningful connections in your daily life, whether that's through hobbies, friendships, or community activities.

I hope this helps you feel heard and understood. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.