1. "Does looking at the man's profile count (they know when it's viewed)?"


I like this feature. Just in case you did not show up on his search for whatever reason, you will at least show up in his log as having viewed his profile.

This gives him a chance to see you, and if he is intrigued he may send you an email.

That way, you've at least given him an opportunity to email you first before taking matters into your own hands.

But probably the BEST reason I like this feature is that once both of you know you've been looking at each other's profiles, it really encourages interaction. After all, the proverbial jig is already up, right?


2. "If we are really interested in a man, and in his profile he mentioned some specific things we have in common, what are we to do if we can't email him first?"


If you really want to write him first here are some tips on how to go about it.

Wait a reasonable bit of time from when you viewed his profile beforehand to give him a chance to respond.

I followed that principle when I was online. Often times it worked and they wrote me. When it doesn't work, be sure to check your log to see if he looked at your profile.

Check also to see if he is even active on the site. If he hasn't been active for more than three days or a week you can't really take the fact he hasn't checked you out personally, right?

I will maintain that men tend to value their online interactions with women who return THEIR e-mails more than with women who contacted them first.

He'll feel as if he has accomplished what he set out to do, which is getting a positive response from a woman HE made the decision to be interested in.

Notwithstanding that approach, if you decide to write him find something in his profile to comment about.

Keep the email short, 2-4 sentences lest you come off as REALLY needy. Don't write anything personal, like your address or contact information.

Here are a couple of phrases I found on some actual Match.com profiles, and my ideas for potential responses.

This first guy whose profile I found made it easy:



A. "Be sure to ask about the picture of the fire truck with the kids...cute story behind it."


Subject Line: As you requested......

Body: What is the story behind the fire truck with the kids?



This guy would probably appreciate that a woman actually responded according to his suggestion. And since he asked, doesn't that make the likelihood of him continuing the conversation all the greater?



B. "I am also something and an epicurean/oenophile. So if you care to sit down over a good vintage wine and excellent meal to compliment it let me know. I am always looking for great parings of wine and cuisine."


Subject Line: Mr. Wine Aficionado.......

Body: Have you seen Gary Vaynerchuk on YouTube? I've traveled through California visiting the wineries, what a blast! Are you in a wine club?



Keep it simple and light. Compliments are fine. Men do seek our approval.

And be sure to ask a question for him to have something to write back about.

If he doesn't write you back then move on to someone who is worth your time and energy.



3. "If the man does not put his salary in his profile, when is a good time to ask this question ? And how to ask it?"


I'd avoid asking about salary directly. Men are very much on guard about women who appear to only have dollar signs in their eyes, and rightly so!

Still, it's natural for many women to desire a man who has ambition and who would be a good provider, right?

You can ask what he does for a living usually by the first or second date.

Besides, how much he makes is less important than how he manages his income and/or net worth.

He could make $100,000/yr and be $200,000 in debt and not able to cover the bills. Or he could make an average salary and have assets to show for his hard work. Something to think about.

I wish you only the best!


Use the Comments box below and "Have Your Say" (even if you disagree with me). I really appreciate it when people reply with thoughtful comments. Honestly, it makes my day. Either way I will be glad to hear from you. Also forward this article to a friend. I am sure they will appreciate your consideration of them.