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Married and accidentally walked into true love

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  • Married and accidentally walked into true love

    I'm hoping for advice. I wasn't looking for anything. 9 years married, 2 kids. I'm content. I'm a stay at home dad so it magnifies my issues also. She was a vet, it was love at first site, mutually. We had a chemistry one visit, the next around Halloween she knew I had kids and ask if they had a good Halloween. I asked her how hers was, she said she is single and no kids so she didn't do anything. I've never flirted, never looked at other women, as she walked to the door I said "if I wasn't married you wouldn't be single". So embarrassing right?

    She replied though. "If you're ever single you call me", I mentioned that she has my number on file, she said she can't use client files like that. She then says I should but ill give you my cell on her business card. She said text if you are ever available. Well I left, I needed to ask her about meds so I texted. Well its 4 weeks straight that we have been messaging all day to each other. We discovered we both had an incredible feeling when we saw each other. We decided to meet to see what it was.

    We met at a park, walked, talked and she wanted a kiss to see if it was just a look or more. We kissed. We missed more. We are as close to in love as one can get. This woman has brought out a romantic side of me that I thought died. I admittedly married to settle with a safe woman. I was content and not unhappy. We were planning to have a third child, still working on it. I don't know if I go with my heart that's sounds selfish or with my wife. The vet told me I can stay at home and still run my children's life. My wife has no idea this is going on. I can end it still.

    I've never felt this happy with someone, we wrote love letters, we chat 24/7 non stop. We have a ton in common, something my wife and I don't. I've read articles going both ways. The only hiccup in all this is the vet said she isn't sure how she will feel if I have a baby but she wants time to make sure we are this in love. I will note zero sex has occurred. I told her I don't want a sexual affair. We both desire it but we are having so much fun without it.

    I read so many stories, some say it'll be the biggest mistake of my life to leave if I'm content. Others say your heart wants what it wants. I've been leaning vet, she brought out lots of memories of my childhood, she enjoys things I enjoy, she is my true love. But I'm afraid it could die based on articles. As a stay at home dad I lost any career chances doing this, I can't afford to be alone on my own. Its just a weird situation because I'm given the option to still run my kids world which mattered most to me.

    Should I be selfish and go with my heart, keep meeting her and seeing if its still this good down the road or stay with my family and maybe lose the first woman I ever felt this connected with?

    Thanks

  • #2
    Don't make the mistake of divorcing your wife for the vet. It's something you will regret for the rest of your life. You haven't know her for long, and so there is huge probability that you haven't known her real person. You only know the romantic side about her, how about the unromantic side?

    This new woman isn't the perfect woman like you assume. So be wise and stay away from her.

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    • #3
      You are happily married to your wife, happiness is something a lot of people seek in marriage but can't find. Don't lose this happiness to a strange woman who will bring sorrow to your life. I will advice you cut off all contact with her immediately.

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      • #4
        No one can really make this decision for you because for someone to go so far as meet privately without your wife knowing and kiss another person and communicate exchanging words of love, you have already crossed many lines and you may have already crossed the point of no return. If you go back to your wife your problem is that you will live the rest of your life knowing that you crossed those lines and it will eat you up alive. It has already played on your mind and you are already gone and not present in your marriage. I'd personally end it with my spouse and certainly stop trying for a third child. You will also need a job. I think you're seriously bored out of your mind as a stay-at-home dad and you are boring. This vet is a career woman who may dump you at any time because you really have nothing going for you except your children from a marriage you have already disrespected.

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        • #5
          I would say leave the vet. It’s very dangerous waters that you’re in. Affairs are bad for everyone involved. Including your children. My parents divorced each other and re married. Ending in divorce. But that all brought so much unnessicary trauma to my life. Sexual abuse from my step siblings and further abuse. Not saying it all ends up like this but this is a can of worms your potentially opening. And this sounds like new exciting attraction. Just stay with your wife and re spark that spark. If you can’t do that then please please stop trying to conceive with her

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          • #6
            I would advise you to see my post of recent. I too stubled upon the love of my life after being married for 7 years. The rolls are kind of reversed as I have no children and she is married with 4.
            My life has been turned upside down and I am struggling big time, constantly. I will also tell you that you are at least involved in an emotional affair, which in my opinion is worse and harder to overcome than a physical affair.
            my affair went on for more than a year. This other woman in my life truly is the love of my life and brough to me the same as tryout affair partner has brought to yours and more.
            The things that has stopped my from leaving my wife are that I do love her, but not like my love, I do care very much about her and don't want to wreck her life, and mostly God and His commands.
            So I would say to you, take a break from her for yourself and your children. Think about God and the rest of your life and make a decision based on those things. I am finding no answers in my world, this is the hardest time in my life. I know people say to pursue happiness, but we have to remember the impact each one of us has on the happiness of others and the world around us.
            Good luck

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