Husbands mistress is pregnant

[Tornlady]

I don't even know where to start. I have been in a relationship with my husband since I was 17 and he was 18. We just got married in the summer of 2016 after 15 year's of dating. Throughout our relationship he was a cheater and lied a lot. I kept telling myself to leave but I still loved him and didn't know how to leave. I have never loved another man in my whole life but him. Two months after we got married he decided to leave our marriage and he moved into the house of one of the women he had been seeing before we got married. A month after that he came home to tell me this woman was pregnant. I have never felt so beat up in my life. I hit rock bottom and started taking pills to deal with my stress and suicidal thoughts from depression. This woman told my husband she is no longer comfortable with him having the title of marriage with me. She also told him she wants to be a family with him and her child from a previous relationship thinks of my spouse as a step father. Keep in mind my husband and I have no kids of our own. I feel like life is a cruel joke right now. But to make matters worse my husband said he realized he does not even love this girl but doesn't want to leave her home until she gives birth because this will be his first child and he wants to be there for the birth. The child is due any day now and my spouse and I don't have much communication. Also she is having a boy and is naming him after my spouse. Now the real shocker is after my spouse and I slept together back in late March(he came to see me and I was weak minded as always) I found out in April that I am pregnant with my first child. I am now almost 18 weeks and my spouse does not live with me, he is too consumed with the new situation he created and told me this woman has no job and he has to help her stay on her feet. So I am alone and pregnant by my husband and we have not lived together since October of 2016. I wanted to give my child a home with a mother and father but I guess that won't happen now. And I pray to god I am not pregnant with a boy so I don't have to explain why I didn't name my son after his father. My family and friends know nothing because I live in shame everyday. I am embarrassed about my life and it's my fault because I should have left years ago. My husband helps another woman as if he is married to her. I get pushed off to the side like a piece of trash. I don't know what to do at this point.

[Anthony]

Hi,

Reading through your story, I felt so much sympathy for you. I know exactly what you are going through at the moment.

Well, it's quit unfortunate that after dating him for 15 years he could still act this way. Normally, it's assumed that dating someone for a long time makes you know the person better, but it seems you both still don't know each other that much even after this years.

However, you have two options; stay with him or divorce him.

I will suggest you divorce him and find another man who will love and cherish you. The only reason you should stay with him is if he sincerely decides to change and start caring for you.

[Vivian]

I hate it when men treat women like trash. Sweetie, I'd tell you to give him space. Leave his apartment and find your own apartment. He will come looking for you if he needs you, else find someone else and be happy with your life.

[Clay]

I'm not going to tell you to divorce your husband, but don't be around that atmosphere that makes you unhappy. So, give birth to your child and leave his house.

I believe he still loves you, if he never loved you he wouldn't have gotten married to you. At the moment he has lost his mind and carried away by lust. So the best thing to do is to give him space, doing this will make him realize your worth. He will definitely come running back to you, because you are the one he loves and not this strange woman.

Be strong.

[shaillythomas]

I feel very bad for you, no one can imagine for your condition, how your husband does this to you, get a divorce to your husband and become independent and give birth to your child and give love your child as mother and father
Another option that you should move on as your husband does, it is very difficult, but find someone for you and enjoy your life

[Cutieldcons]

The very same thing happened to me in 2005. My husband got her pregnant (my secretary, imagine that) and he got me pregnant too with our third child (we have 5 now). Yes, i filed for divorce. He didn't sign. Long story short, he made an effort to stop all communication with OW (other woman) and NC with their children - yes!!! they have two! BS, right? Why did he make an effort? I made him choose ME or HER. It was a gamble but it worked on my favor. Oh and yeah, I sued him for VAWCI - violence against women. Even with all that, we're still together. 19 years married. It was never easy. And i dont think it will ever be.

[Ann-Andrea]

About handling the affair but a baby is too much. You should do what is right for you. Divorce him and protect your child. You are beautiful and don't have to put up with this mess.