Some Women Will Bark to No End about Their Sexual Abuse but Most Don't Bother

[Victoria]

It's not always that simple. Some men are not mature enough to understand that. Example I have a female relative who was sexualy abused as a child, age 7 or 8, by a cousin who was 16 to 17 years old.

When she grew up around 17 to 18 years old she told her family about it and they complete ignored it and continued to talk to the cousin like nothing happened.

They all basically dismissed anything she said like it never happened. Later when she got older around 21 to 22 years old, she was coming home from work at night and a group of men passed by her and one of them grabbed her breast. Nothing more happened but she went straight home and told her soon to be husband about it. His answer was she must have done something to provoke it. Society does not want to hear that ugly part of life and we are conditioned to ignore it. Some women will bark to no end about their sexual abuse but most don't bother because our society doesn't want to hear it.

[Clinton]

Hi Victoria,

I want you to know that I could not agree more.

I would like to think that I did not give the idea in my eBook, that helping your wife or girlfriend get over past sexual abuse was EASY.

It is NEVER easy.

And unfortunately, the story you told about you cousin is incredibly common. It is indeed easier to ignore these issues than deal with them. And in her case, she did not FORCE them to deal with it.

Should they suddenly stop talking to a man that they have known their whole lives based on her story?

Could they even be certain that she was telling the truth?

And, after all, it happened so long ago...It is easier to pretend they never heard it than go through the inconvenience of dealing with it.

This is what I call "cowardice".

It is no more and no less than a complete lack of moral courage.

If your cousin had gone crazy and tried to hurt herself or ended up in a psychiatric ward, they would have been forced to deal with it... but, ironically, HER strength and courage allowed them to remain cowards.

Her husband, for his part, and I will be blunt in saying this guy needs to grow a backbone.

His fear of having to DO something made him behave in the most disgusting way of all:

He blamed the victim.

It is sickening that some men? Are so far removed from what it means to be a "Real Man!"

Now just to be super - clear, I'm not saying he should have gone out and gone vigilante on the guy that grabbed her - but to anything less than supportive of her is not acceptable behaviour.

I am fully confident that you would have done far better in his situation.

Thanks again for sharing your story - I trust it will help others to understand how hard it is in our society for women (or men) who have suffered abuse in their past.

As long as society as a whole keeps turning a "blind eye" to the whole issue of "sexual abuse" many, many women and men.

Will suffer in silence and in my book that is not right or any form of justice!

[Victoria]

Thank you Clinton for your reply.