I Can Orgasm When My Clitoris Is Stimulated But Not From Penetration?

[Evelyn]

I am a young woman in her 20's getting a bit frustrated about her orgasms. I can orgasm fine when my clitoris is stimulated, by me or my partner, but not from any form of penetration. I have tried doing it with vibrators on my own and I still cant get anywhere close. I get better sensations from sex, just no orgasm. And when I try and stimulate my clitoris during sex its like it goes a bit numb. So pretty much everything works fine on the 'outside' but the 'inside' seems to be a bit of a problem. Any advice going?"

[Clinton]

Okay... my first piece of advice is...

Stop being frustrated by what sounds like very good sex... there are many... many women who cannot have orgasms at all... and many more who cannot have an orgasm with a man.. only when masturbating.

So you are already way ahead of the game... be nice to yourself and do not lose sight of the fact that you and your partner are sharing some “quality time” together and enjoying that time you share together... the shame is that you are having all this sexual pleasure... and you are focusing on some small part that makes you feel inadequate.

I think it is GREAT that you want to go further and learn even more about how you can share even deeper pleasure in your love making... that is great... and make sure you are not ruining the fun along the way by focusing on what you DO NOT have.

It is very common for women to have orgasms more easily through clitoral stimulation and there is nothing wrong with that!

You also mentioned... “that It goes a bit numb”... hat is also not at all uncommon... what is really happening is that it is hard for your brain to process so much sensation all at once... so when you are enjoying the feelings of being filled up... even though it is not making you orgasm... it shuts off your ability to feel much else.

It is kind of like trying to rub your belly with one hand and pat your head with the other... your brain gets confused.

Have your partner try and start experimenting with finding your “g spot” with his fingers... you also want to experiment with changing the angle of penetration during love making... and also changing the rhythm... the right rhythm can make a profound difference... so be a little patient in finding this.

Then finally... when you feel like everything else is right and it feels really good... relax into it and think about how hot is for HIM.

Just enjoy whatever pleasure you are feeling in your body... do not focus on it or force it... just enjoy the pleasure and allow your mind to focus on HIM and his pleasure and how much he is enjoying being inside of you... how turned on he is getting... how good it feels on his penis to slide in and out of you.

By enjoying yourself enjoying HIS pleasure... you will get really turned on... and NOT thinking about your own orgasm will keep you from putting pressure on what is... or is not happening for you.

This psychology WORKS.

Just relax and surf the waves of the pleasure without trying to force anything... and this part may sound silly... and trust me on this because it is important... DO NOT FORGET TO BREATH... many women hold their breath when they feel close to the edge and oxygen makes a big difference... smiles.

Enjoy yourself.

[Anthony]

I understand fully well that it is rare for a woman to have a vaginal orgasm without stimulation to the clitoris... Is it possible without clitoral stimulation?"

And the answer is... Yes, it is absolutely possible for a woman to achieve vaginal orgasm without clitoral stimulation, but I don't think that is exactly what you're asking. I believe, and correct me if I am wrong here, is that you want to know if it is possible to give a woman an orgasm during intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation.

You see there are profound differences between a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm, and most vaginal orgasms are not evoked through clitoral stimulation. The good news is the answer to this question is still a resounding yes!

Giving a woman an orgasm during intercourse without clitoral stimulation is actually sometimes easier than giving her one with clitoral stimulation. Ask any woman who has ever had an orgasm from the rear-entry position or more commonly referred to as the "doggy-style" position and you will confirm this very quickly.

The key to non-clitoral orgasms during intercourse comes down to several factors - position, angle and intensity of sexual arousal.

The primary targets for giving a woman a non-clitoral vaginal orgasm is the G-spot. Now in order to activate the G-spot you have to select a position that allows your penis to continuously stimulate your woman's G-spot at the proper angle. There are a couple positions that work really well for this.

You can use a modified missionary position where you prop your woman's buttocks and hips high enough to allow you to insert your penis upward and inward at about a forty five degree angle, this will allow you to directly stimulate her G-spot with your penis.

You can use the rear entry position which has the advantage of being able to slide the length of your penis along the G-spot and if your a little more acrobatic you can also position your body more so that you can stimulate the G-spot from an up to down motion which is the reverse of the modified missionary position which gives a downward to upward type of stimulation. You can also use a "top secret sex position" called the "Sidemount" that connects right to a womans g-spot like a lazer-targeted orgasmic torpedo.

So the good news is that YES! it absolutely is possible to give a woman body trembling toe curling orgasms during intercourse without clitoral stimulation! The bad news is most folks probably won't be able to do it even using the proper positions and angles.

Wanna know why?

Because the G-spot is a slow-burning high-explosive pleasure center! Now what exactly do I mean by that? The G-spot takes a much longer time to reach its boiling point than the clitoris does. In other words, it takes a much more intense and prolonged level of sexual arousal to get the G-spot ready for orgasm.

Now the good news is once the G-spot is primed and ready for orgasm each subsequent orgasm will be more intense and come faster than the one before it. If you try to give your woman a G-spot orgasm before she's ready you are more than likely going to reach orgasm yourself and ejaculate long before your woman reaches climax.

This is why should never ever go for intercourse until you have given your woman at least three clitoral orgasms! This is golden Rule of Three! And you should never try to give her an orgasm until you have worked her into a white hot sexual frenzy of lust using all the Sexual Arousal Techniques At Your Disposal. This is an iron clad rule that I absolutely live by and you should to! It will completely change the quality and frequency of your sex life.

Guaranteed.

You see most men really want to give their women nuclear-powered orgasms during intercourse . Unfortunately the vast majority of men think the key to achieving that level of orgasm is simply thrusting longer, stronger and harder but the end result of using that approach, invariably is... You Orgasm and Ejaculate Faster but Your Woman Does Not.

Sad but true.

I have said many many times before most of the problems you will face in your road to sexual mastery will have a lack of intense sexual arousal at the very root of the issue.

My belief (and my experiences have born this out) is that as a man develops his ability to tease and please a woman's body he also develops the ability to intensify the non-physical connection between himself and his partner, which also amplifies sexual arousal and ultimately pleasure.

This continually escalating arousal and orgasm cycle in turn makes both partners more sexually responsive to one another and that means your woman will achieve more orgasms faster and faster.

In the mean time go out and play with your lovers G-spot using the three orgasm rule, try giving her a G-spot orgasm without prior orgasms and then give your woman three good clitoral orgasms using either Fingering Techniques or Oral Sex Techniques. You will instantly notice the difference a few well placed orgasms can make in your ability to give your woman explosive G-spot orgasms faster and faster! Your Love Life Will NEVER BE The Same...and Thats a Good Thing!

[Sofia]

The following are some methods to try so that you may increase your responsiveness to sexual intercourse, therefore leading you directly to orgasm. Number 10 is a three-part plan that you and your partner can initiate to teach your body to achieve orgasm through intercourse alone.

The Attitude

1. Relax - Live in the moment. It is not until you have a clear mind, free of outside clutter, that you can begin focusing on your partner and yourself together in a sexually charged environment. Allow yourself to feel free and comfortable with who you are and what you are doing.

2. Pay attention to yourself - This isn't to say that you need to be selfish. However, it is a fact that in general, women who climax through intercourse have focused more on pleasing themselves than their loved one during certain times while engaging in sex.

3. Use visual imagery - Occupy your brain with personally erotic images. Your mind is one of the most forceful tools you have to boost your own sexual pleasure. Many females fantasize themselves to orgasmic bliss occasionally and so can you. The sexual images on which you concentrate may be real or imagined. The visual imagery may include a complicated storyline or may be one single picture.

4. Do not be shy - Don't be afraid to take charge in bed and be an active participant. In certain studies, active partners, i.e. those who did not wait passively for orgasm to arrive, were found to be more easily orgasmic. Three good verbs are anticipate, participate, and reciprocate.

The Body

5. Try different positions - You should experiment with the top, bottom, sitting down, or standing up positions. One that you may not have tried yet could be the one that sends you over the edge, reaching climactic joy through intercourse.

6. Experiment with your pelvic motion - The direction you take with your pelvis could make all the difference in whether you reach the epitome of your climax... or not. Try a side-to-side movement, the normal thrusting motion, or even a circular rhythm. A fantastic way to climax with your partner's penetration is to move your clitoris against your lover's pubic bone in an up-and-down fashion while his erection is deep inside you.

7. Extended foreplay - Typically it takes a woman's body longer to feel the excited effects of a sexual encounter. If you engage in more foreplay than usual, you will get the chance to build your sexual energy and responsiveness, so that when the moment of penetration is near, you will be closer to orgasm.

8. Imagine your partner ejaculating inside of you - Ask your partner to let you know when he is getting close to his climax. Sometimes a woman can feel or sense that moment as well. Imagine his excitement and imagine that the two of you will climax together. This one thought alone has pushed many women over the edge and into orgasm.

9. Exercise your pubococcygeus muscles - The PC muscles are the muscles you automatically contract during an orgasm. Slowly work your way up to completing 100 contractions of this muscle two times per day. This muscle is the same muscle that you contract to prevent the flow of pee so this should not be a complete puzzle to do.

10. Adopt the 3-phase plan to increase responsiveness to intercourse.

a. Phase I - while engaging in intercourse, either you or your lover should manually stimulate your clitoris until you reach your climax.

b. Phase II - Stop clitoral titillation from Phase I a short time before your orgasm. Let the thrusting action of your guy's penis prompt your climax.

c. Phase III - Increase the amount of time between the start of your orgasm and the end of clitoral stimulation in Phase II.

Play around with some (or all) of these suggestions. Achieving a wilder orgasm through sexual intercourse does not have to be seen as such a lofty goal. Rather, view it is the epitome of the play that it really is.

[Evelyn]

Wow! Great advice. Thank you all.