Please help me getting my boyfriend back

[Bhavns]

Hii .. I was in a relationship with a guy for 6 years and he left me I followed the no contact rule for 20 days as he started texting me that he is missing me and how much he love me . But latter when I started the conversations with him he did not responded me well .. he started showing off his attitude and said he believes in destiny ... although he wish he could have me back he isn't initiating at all ..When I asked him that he ditched me and never asked me to come back he said he wants to believe in destiny if we were created for one another will get back .. I don't know what does that mean .. I really wish to get back with him soo I was thinking to start over again with no contact for 30 days ..What should I do ??

[Anthony]

The no contact help to make him miss you and build attraction again, but you ruined it all by the way you acted when he eventually contacted you. You acted to excited to hear from him and that made him feel superior. The only thing you can do now is to do another no contact, but this time ensure you act right.

[Sofia]

First of all, you need to understand that there according to break up psychology, there are two emotions felt right after the break up. The person who got dumped or dumpee feels thoroughly rejected by their partner. The dumpee can act out in unusual ways as they find the situation hard to handle. After you go dumped, have you tried to get back with your ex by calling them over and over again in the hopes that they will give you another chance? If so then you know exactly what it feels like. Don't feel too bad if this is exactly what you did. It's a very natural reaction to being rejected. I also experienced some of those moments.

The second feeling concerns the emotion felt by the person who dumped their partner (the partner and that emotion is guilt. You see, the dumper still feels a certain amount of guilt for being the one who rejected the dumpee. Nobody wants to feel as though they are a bad person who is constantly hurting others.

Although the dumper really wants to leave the relationship, they can't really help but feel guilty over the matter. This is why they don't contact their ex whenever the ex calls for attention. The contradicting actions between the dumper and the dumpee causes a vicious cycle in the break up psychology. The dumpee wants to undo the feeling of being rejected by looking for love and affection. On the other hand, the dumper pushes the dumpee away because they don't want to feel guilt. This continues until the dumpee completely causes the dumper to stay away from them permanently.

However, this situation can be avoided. The dumpee can actually overcome the break up psychology cycle by stopping their natural reaction, eventually allow them to work things out with the dumper. If they stop themselves from reaching out to their ex, their ex wouldn't have to push them away and if they choose to use the No Contact Rule then they just might get their ex back again. Hence, I suggest that you can cope better with a break up if you learn to resist the natural course of a break up psychology and avoid those feelings of guilt and rejection.