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Laurel, Maryland
Ages 34 and 35
Married seven years, with two children (ages three and 18 months) and a third due in April
Tangie: The first time I met Brian, he put a toad that was the size of a softball practically on my lap. When I started screaming, he cracked up. I found him totally repulsive. I distinctly remember telling my mother, “I hate that boy.”
Brian: This was in 1988. Tangie was 11; I was 12. I wasn’t used to girls.
Tangie: My parents and I had just moved across the street from Brian’s family, so we couldn’t help seeing each other a lot. Brian called me “Tangerine.” He made faces at me at the bus stop. When it snowed, he waited outside to lob snowballs at me. He made fun of my clothes and hair. Not until high school did Brian spend less time teasing and more time trying to be warm and kind.
Brian: When she was 15, Tangie got very cute. We played basketball and video games together and watched The Goonies on VHS. I started driving her to school. We talked on the phone at night until we fell asleep, even though we lived across the street.
Tangie: Our junior year, Brian began dating my friend. They only spent time with each other—and ignored me. I felt vengeful. I spent days concocting a plan to break them up. And I realized I had feelings for Brian myself. Finally, on the way home from school one day, I told him, “I want us to be together.”
Brian: We kissed in my Pontiac Grand Am, parked in my family’s driveway.
Tangie: We dated through most of college, then broke up for a while. I had other relationships but didn’t really connect with anyone else. We got back together in 2001. In 2003 he put on some slow music, got down on one knee, and said he wanted to spend his life with me. I started laughing.
Brian: Tangie always laughs at me when I’m trying to be serious, so I expected it.
Tangie: I have a deep, romantic love for Brian. But I also love him because he’s my best friend. When you’re married, it’s easy to go on autopilot. You get the kids up in the morning, go to work, and don’t take time to have fun. You forget why you’re together in the first place. I feel lucky that Brian and I still joke like we did as kids.
Brian: I love to hear Tangie’s truest, most goofy laugh.
Tangie: However, Brian would never put a toad on me today.
Brian: Uh, no.