Why Are Men So Scared To Cry In Front Of Women

[Kate]

Why are men so scared to cry in front of us? Crying is a sign of strength!

[Clay]

Hey Kate

You're really asking the absolute wrong question. In fact, you're making a huge mistake that a LOT of women make: You're assuming that men COULD cry in front of you if we wanted to but that we're gritting our teeth, willing our tear ducts to dry up and driving our fingernails into our palms in a valiant attempt to hold the torrent of tears back.

Which just ain't true.

Whenever I get a question like "Why are men AFRAID to cry in front of women" I always turn it around and say something snarky like . ..

"Why are you AFRAID to pick up the Statue of Liberty in front of men?"

And then I get a withering "You're such a smart ass" look.

But anyway . ..

The point is that most men aren't "afraid" to cry in front of women it's that most men simply can't cry in front of women (Or in front of men. Or in front of their dog. Or the television. Or while on the planet earth.)

Crying is HARD for guys.

I mean, I'm a pretty emotionally hip guy who deals with this stuff every day and is all sensitive and stuff . . .

And I can count the number of times I've CRIED in the last 5 years on 3 fingers of one hand. (Because I've cried three times.)

I cried once (bawled like a baby, actually) when a good friend and mentor of mine passed away from a vicious form of cancer.

I cried when my ex girlfriend and I broke up.

And I cried (a lot) last year when my girlfriend's dog died.

And you know what? The fact that I've cried so little actually pisses me off.

I WISH I could cry more. Because crying is awesome. It's cathartic and cleansing and wonderful and lowers stress hormones like crazy.

But like a LOT of guys I just can not do it unless something MAJOR happens. It's not "fear" that holds me (or most guys you meet) back...it's that that "crying" circuit in our brains either doesn't exist or has been beaten and smashed out of us by brutal, intolerant of "wimps" childhoods.

So again, you're asking the wrong question. (But if a guy is a "crier" and still won't cry in front of "you" it's because he doesn't feel emotionally safe. We'll talk about that later.)

[Jerome]

Why are men so afraid of a commitment if they can just break up with her if it doesn't work out….

[Rob]

Why are men so afraid of a commitment if they can just break up with her if it doesn't work out….

Dude, have you TRIED breaking up with a girl once you've made a commitment? It's nowhere near as easy as you make it sound. Most guys I know actually take a commitment way more seriously than that. Once you agree to "commit" you've made a promise and it's a promise that's hard to un-make.