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How do you feel secure in a relationship? I am 8 years older than boyfriend



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  • How do you feel secure in a relationship? I am 8 years older than boyfriend

    His exes are 12-15 years younger than me!-Im usually happy with my appearance and experiences that it doesn't bother me, but I know he's still friends with and converses with these women- I have a limited amount of time before I diminish physically. I don't want to start slathering on a ton of makeup and skimpy clothes to keep his attention either. They seem to do that all over FB and Im uncomfortable posting pics of myself for attention, seems silly. I sometimes wonder though if me, as I am , will be enough. He says he thinks Im attractive- I can't have children anymore, and I work a lot. I wonder if Ill just become yesterdays news?

  • #2
    Since you are already feeling insecure about your age, it's best you quit the relationship. You already know you can't have children anymore, so find a man of same age range with you. This is kind of man that will love and cherish you.


    • #3
      If you are feeling insecure, you are definitely in a bad place in your own mind and if you don't get rid of these feelings, your fears may come to pass.

      Consider How He Feels

      Put yourself in his shoes. If he tells you all the time that he loves you and doesn't do anything that might make you think he doesn't, what's the problem? You are basically slapping him in the face and letting him know you don't believe or trust him, and how do you think this is going to make him feel?

      You may be feeling insecure, but you are going to make him think you don't really love him either. If you continue on this road of being insecure in your relationship, you are looking for trouble. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? That's where you make something happens because of your actions. Well, you can pretty well predict that your relationship is going to come to a screeching halt if you don't change some things.

      Tell Him How You Feel

      The first thing to do is to tell him that how you feel is more about you than about him. If you've been in a bad relationship where the guy treated you poorly and destroyed your confidence, tell him about that. At least that way he can understand what is making you act like you are, and help you get over these feelings of insecurity that some other guy caused.

      Let him know that you know he's one of the good ones and that you're lucky to have him. In a teasing way, ask him to remind you if you ever forget that you said that. And then think about what you just told this wonderful guy and make every effort to try to let your insecurity go.

      Whatever You Do, Don't...

      Whatever you do, don't get all clingy and needy on him. There will be times when you need some reassurance and it's okay to ask him if he loves you, once in a while. But don't hound him by asking for reassurance constantly.

      Also, it's important that you give him some breathing room. Holding on too tight is not the way to go if you don't want your insecurity to ruin your relationship. Trust him to go out with his friends without you tagging along. Trust him to have lunch with a group of his co-workers, even if some of them are women. And why wouldn't you trust him if he's never given you a reason not to?