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Its definately you and not me- am I crazy?



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  • Its definately you and not me- am I crazy?

    Dating girlfriend for almost 3 years. We had a date last weekend... I have been asking her since Monday if we could have a date this Fri or Sat nite...I wanted an adult date without kids (we both have kids)... she said she was busy this weekend but she suggested we get together Sunday with the kids for Super Bowl..

    i should add that that one of the reasons I wanted an adult date this weekend is that she is going away for a week and won't be here Valentines Day..

    anyway i finally ask what what she is busy doing on Sat that she can't have a date- I didn't say it like that though just asked what she is doing.. turns out she is hanging out with coworkers..

    two things here- she could havei invited me to go.. and why was hanging out with the coworkers more important than a date nite with me.. plus she went out with coworkers last weekend so it isn't like she hasn't gone out..

    anyway i decided to ask her if I could go out with her and coworkers. She said No.. said she is just getting to know them outside of work and doesn't know them well..

    after she she told me No about going out Sat with coworkers- she than started texting me and asking me if I wanted to go out to eat last nite.. I am not sure why.. I had asked her if we could have a date Fri or Sat and she had said No but now all the sudden she wants to eat out with me last nite on Fri? So I told her No..we didn't go out last nite..

    I wasn't going out on a date last nite sonshe could feel better about saying no to me joining her Sat..

    i am supposed to go to her house tomorrow to watch the super bowl .. Now I don't want to go..

    i do love her.. my plan is to back off a bit..


  • #2
    I think you should be patient with her. All you need to do is show her love and care.

    No doubt she loves you, so don't ruin what you have with her.


    • #3
      Backing off a bit is a good move, it will take away the power she has in the relationship. At the moment, she has so much control and power over you in the relationship, so backing off for a while will give you control over the relationship. However, you must keep constant contact with her even while backing off, that way you won't risk losing her.


      • #4
        So... what is the main issue here? That she wants to go out with her coworkers and didn't invite you? But I think her reason of it being a new work place, and just beginning to get to know them as an individual before presenting herself as part of a couple is valid.
        It's not about her choosing them over you, if she already had plans with them, you can't expect her to break those plans just because you ask if she wants to have a date night. Especially because she showed interest in seeing you on multiple other evenings, but you refused to and are withholding your attention to her because she was busy on one specific night?
        That seems controlling to me and like game playing, definitely an over reaction to her having plans prior to you asking her out.