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My boyfriend says he loves me but i cant feel it in his actions



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  • My boyfriend says he loves me but i cant feel it in his actions

    hello my name is milla, i have dated a guy for 6 years on and off, we got separated after 4 years and we just got back together, it's been three month now, when we were dating before thre were so many problems, i cheated on him and he forgave me, he is a nice guy but he has this tendency to always want to please everyone, and he likes to flirt around, whenever he meets a girl , he is all charming and bringing them gifts and telling me he is just being nice, it never used to bother me, but because we got back together we promissed each other we will change our bad habits that hurt the other in the past, which i am doing, i never let any guy flirt with me or anything, and i told him clearly what had happened when we were separated, meaning all the names and details, so last month i was at his office an i met this new girl that he just hired, i didnt even really notice anything special with her, just the usual, polite, they were going on a trip together because they had to go do some selling, when he came bck he started telling me that that girl found me attractive and that she said i had an impressive character, at that moment i was like thanks, thats nice of her, but later on,i learnt that they had actually met during the time we were separated and that they had went out together one night and that he had actually wanted to have something with her, i didnt really think he cheated, but i hate when people lie, even if its small lies, it hurts me, so i aked him why he didnt just tell me the truth, he said he found her pretty and that he didnt want to tell me because he didnt want to hurt me, for me it was like to be hurt double, am asking him why he lied about what had happened between them and he adds to that that he finds her pretty, so i started thinking back at out past, when i used to be sure he had flirted with a girl but he would deny it for days until i found proof and he would be like oh sorry i had forgotten, so now its blocking me, i have trusting issues, and he knows that, so why lie to me about little things if they dont mean anything? i dont know if am making myself clear but now its been a week that we sat down and read messaged from each other's phones and that i realized he actually was hitting on her when we were separated, and now that they are working together, even if we are back together i cant stop but asking myself why he lied to me about her,! am very sad because he says he loves me, but i am also not sure if when you see that someone is chaning for you, you should be doing the exact same thing you used to do that hurts them! your thoughts please thanks.

  • #2
    I know exactly how you feel at the moment, we all have experienced this and it hurts. You have the right to be angry and and with him, but I suggest you forgive him and don't allow little things like this ruin your relationship. Also, make it a point not to over-react to little things such as this because that's the only way you can maintain a relationship.

    If you keep getting mad over things like this, you won't be able to keep a relationship with him or any other guy.

    Just my advice!


    • #3
      Lets call a spade a spade, he was wrong to have lied to you. However, keep being the changed person you are to him, and he will gradually start changing to who you want him to become.