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Hey guys, I'm a 20 y/o guy, and have been in some toxic relationships and I need some help with that.
So ... about 4 months ago, I met a girl and I was instantly interested in her, because I got to know that we share some hobbies (to be specific, games, anime/manga). So I got the courage to text her and we chat a bit. Some day, I asked her on a date, and she said yes, everything worked pretty good. We spend like 9 hours or so together on that date, and we really enjoyed it both. She's really shy, but she was pretty talkative and open to me. Even told me some secrets she is embarrassed, so there was some kind of trust there, even though be barely knew each other. After that, we still texted every now and then, no problem. I asked her on a second date, but she always had a reason to cancel the date. It was a bit hard for me, but I accepted it and waited for her to make the next move. Last week on thursday, she did. After I was home from work late evening, she asked me if we should meet now. She got dressed and we did meet, I picked her up. Again we had a really great time, even though it were only 2 hours, because we both had to get up early the next morning. The next time she began to flirt via text and asked if I have to work on the weekend. I said yes, which made her a little sad, because she doesn't want to bother me after work, but I said that's no problem for me. So the third date was decided. After work, I picked her up, gave her roses and chocolate she really likes, and she made a handcrafted heart out of fir leaves with our names on it. We spend time at my home and she wanted to sleepover, and I said yes. Everything went great, we laughed together, talked about a lot of things etc. Late in the night, I asked her out and she said yes. We both couldn't really sleep that night. It was weird. After I dropped her off at home the next day, she texted me that she can't do this. She isn't that type of person who can be in a relationship. I was emotionally crushed, but I tried to keep calm. After we talked a bit, I learned that she has depression, has problems trusting other people and letting people near her. She's pretty much a loner, she said. She also said she fears intimacy and never really had a relationship besides that typical back in forth in middle school. I really have no clue what to do now. I fear that she will be completely distant now. I also have some fears of intimacy, but I keep fighting against it and I'm trying my best that it will work out. I don't think that she just uses her fears as an excuse to drop me, But I don't really know either. She doesn't seem to be a person that would play with the feelings of other people. She probably has smilar experiences with trust, that would be stupid.
So ... about 4 months ago, I met a girl and I was instantly interested in her, because I got to know that we share some hobbies (to be specific, games, anime/manga). So I got the courage to text her and we chat a bit. Some day, I asked her on a date, and she said yes, everything worked pretty good. We spend like 9 hours or so together on that date, and we really enjoyed it both. She's really shy, but she was pretty talkative and open to me. Even told me some secrets she is embarrassed, so there was some kind of trust there, even though be barely knew each other. After that, we still texted every now and then, no problem. I asked her on a second date, but she always had a reason to cancel the date. It was a bit hard for me, but I accepted it and waited for her to make the next move. Last week on thursday, she did. After I was home from work late evening, she asked me if we should meet now. She got dressed and we did meet, I picked her up. Again we had a really great time, even though it were only 2 hours, because we both had to get up early the next morning. The next time she began to flirt via text and asked if I have to work on the weekend. I said yes, which made her a little sad, because she doesn't want to bother me after work, but I said that's no problem for me. So the third date was decided. After work, I picked her up, gave her roses and chocolate she really likes, and she made a handcrafted heart out of fir leaves with our names on it. We spend time at my home and she wanted to sleepover, and I said yes. Everything went great, we laughed together, talked about a lot of things etc. Late in the night, I asked her out and she said yes. We both couldn't really sleep that night. It was weird. After I dropped her off at home the next day, she texted me that she can't do this. She isn't that type of person who can be in a relationship. I was emotionally crushed, but I tried to keep calm. After we talked a bit, I learned that she has depression, has problems trusting other people and letting people near her. She's pretty much a loner, she said. She also said she fears intimacy and never really had a relationship besides that typical back in forth in middle school. I really have no clue what to do now. I fear that she will be completely distant now. I also have some fears of intimacy, but I keep fighting against it and I'm trying my best that it will work out. I don't think that she just uses her fears as an excuse to drop me, But I don't really know either. She doesn't seem to be a person that would play with the feelings of other people. She probably has smilar experiences with trust, that would be stupid.
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