Help me getting back my ex ..

[Bhavns]

Hii .. I need advise and help from you guys .. I have been into no contact rule I tried to maintain in and then broke the No contact rule by texting my ex boyfriend to meet me .. he replied me in a good way latter on I tried to make him feel jealous by posting picures with other guys and having beer , which made him angry about me but he dint showed that , last saturday I was drunk and messaged him all what I feel about him and sent him more than 50 text to which he never replied and removed my number from his contact liSt and now I cannot see his profile picture or anything soo I did the same by deleting him from my social networking sites and removed his number from my phone .. should I start over with no contact rule and stay calm and hope that he will muss me or should I forget about him that he will ever come back ?? I am feeling myself in a mess I have been into a relationship with my ex for 5 years and we were planning to get married .. I no more feel like I'll ever be able to get into any relationship with somebody else because I really love him and it's been 4 and a half months now..

[Anthonia]

You really messed things up by that singular act you portrayed. However, I will advice you never contact him again and hope he might come back some day, meanwhile start dating other guys. Don't just start dating immediately, but give yourself time to heal and get over the breakup. That way, you will be able to make better choices on who to be in a relationship with.

[Scot]

You may have messed up but you definitely have a chance to redeem yourself.

Scaring off a man is much easier than most of us realize. The beginning stages of a relationship look very different from a male and a female perspective. When we of the female persuasion meet a man we are fond of we tell him because honesty is always the best policy, right? It is, but to an extent. If you come on too strong before he's ready to hear it, he'll run for the door as fast as his feet will carry him. The same is true if you let it be known on the first, second or even third date that you're the marrying kind and you imagine that the babies you'll lovingly make with him will be adorable. He will panic and the easiest way for any man to deal with relationship panic is to flee.

Now that you've been enlightened as to why you may have scared him off it's time to undo this dating error. First and foremost, give him some time. Bombarding him with calls, emails or text messages telling him how sorry you were won't cut it. Your behavior will trump your words and all he'll see is you trying harder than ever to get him to want you. You can't allow this to happen.

Once a bit of time has passed, as in two or three weeks, call him up and keep it brief. If he doesn't answer (and it's very likely he won't) leave a short message just saying that you wanted to see how he was, that you've been very busy and it would be great to catch up over a coffee at some point. The "at some point" part of this is crucial as it gives the impression that you're not clambering to see him and that you're not desperately trying to repair the already crumbling relationship.

Your message will probably be enough to intrigue him into calling you back. Again, no rushing to see him and no professing your desire to spend the rest of your days wrapped in his loving arms. Be calm and tell him that you're busy through next week but you'd love to grab a coffee right after work in a couple of weeks. Don't sound desperate and control your nervousness so you don't sound too giddy to be hearing his voice. Then end the call and leave him alone until you meet.

By handling this delicate situation in this direct and non-threatening way you're showing him that you're not the lovesick fool who is running after him the way you used to. If you did indeed scare him off, your new, relaxed and uncommitted attitude will show him that he may have misread you initially. We all can change and showing the man you're interested in that you're not exactly who he thought you were may be the saving grace you've been searching for.

[Zinok]

I think you should give him space, and also take some time to evaluate your own behaviour. Would you like to be treated the way you treated him? I very much doubt it. Take a hard look at yourself and the things you need to work on for your own well being and also that of any future partner you have.

He may not come back to you. You need to find a way to come to peace with that, learn from the experience, and be better in the future. You will have other opportunities.