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chaser and chasee

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MillionaireMatch

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  • chaser and chasee

    This is the most complicated type of relationship or whatever you want to call it.. I met this guy over 16 years ago through a mural friend he asked my friend for my number and that's how it all began. It was summer after high school graduation we had a fling, meaning just hooking for sex at least once a week. Summer ends we go separate ways, we both went off to different colleges. He left for college I stayed in my hometown. He never crossed my mind after we went separate ways I mean hello, college nothing but guys and girls all around. First vacation I believe it was Thanksgiving he contacted me which was a shock but I said what the he'll for old times sake. Here's where it gets strange.. I have seen him off and on for all of the 16 years when we were off it was because I decided to break ties with him.. He just kept coming back. He would text and call numerous times and despite the fact that I would ignore these messages he kept at it. He has even gone as far as to come to my residence looking for me he's done that several times. Most guys would have taken the hint the first time, he is the most persistent mofo I've ever met.. I guess I'm bad for letting him back in the times I did. All we did was have sex that's why I just don't get it.. Who chases after someone for that long just to have sex? We've been back on a year and a half after about the same amount of time I let him go.. He found me in a store, and we talked for maybe two hours. I changed my number and my residence during the time I stopped talking to him he's like no wonder no one would answer the door(lol).
    In the past year things have definitely changed between us. We see each other more often now than I believe we ever have. He's wanting to be closer to me, spoon when we go to sleep after sex, he lives 2 hours away in another state he does have family here but half the time he takes that drive just to be with me. He's also become a little more possessive and jealous. I'll say this as of now, we are NOT in a relationship. We've had a couple disputes over his jealousy most recent was a week and a half ago when he got upset over me thinking about going to Texas to visit an ex. Honestly I'm still confused as to what this man really wants. We're both single although he claims not to be with anyone else. Not sure if I want to talk about with him, I don't think I'm ready for that answer.. I could use a little insight I definitely invite all replies. Thanks for reading my story

  • #2
    Hi,

    From all you have said, it appears this guy is pestering you and hindering your chances of meeting other people.

    So, if you don't want a relationship from him, simply tell him.

    The best way to do this is to plan a hang out with him, and politely tell him you love him but can't be his girlfriend. After telling him this, offer him to be just friends with you.

    I think if you do this, he will stop coming around.

    Good luck!

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    • #3
      Why don't you girls like guys that chase them? It shows he sincerely loves you, and only love can make a guy jealous and possessive.

      However, if you don't like him enough to be your boyfriend, then tell him. Don't string along, let him know so that he can move on. You can see that he's making so much sacrifice by driving 2 hours just to come see you. So, don't shatter his hopes out of the blue, tell him you can't be with him anymore.

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      • #4

        I really don't want to hurt him. When I think about it I do wonder if he was to stay in my life for a reason like maybe he's meant to be here. Going at it with each other for 16 years most marriages don't last that long..Guess I have a lot of thinking to do before I can even remotely approach him

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