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Please, help me. I can't do this anymore.

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MillionaireMatch

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  • Please, help me. I can't do this anymore.

    My name is Jess. I have been in a relationship for a year now. My fiancee is 31 years old. He is the only son in his family. He is 4 sisters. I don't have any sisters, only 2 brothers so i was happy to be with someone who is a good man and has sisters.

    unfortunately I thought wrong. His family ( his sister to be precise) has created a lot of problems in my relationship. His parents are not doing anything about it. When i talk to him to tell him that what's going on is not right, i feel like he is blinded by what's going on.

    His sister is going out with some guy who has been married twice or three times ( I'm not sure) and has kids from his previous marriages. His family has welcomed the guy into their house, invited him to celebrate their mum's birthday. My fiancee has gone out with him for lunch despite knowing about this guy's background and they still allowed the sister to go out with the guy. However 6 months ago, my fiancee and his family decided that this guy is not a good guy (as the found out that the guy has a police history and owns a gun) My fiancee and his father had a physical altercration with his sister's bf in the bf's ex wife's house. During this period of time my fiancee focused solely on his family and ignored me. I cried to him and tried talking to my fiancee but he ignored me and didn't meet me.

    I gave up and was silent for a week. After a week he came back apologising. He said despite Every thing that he has done for his sister, she has said that she wants to continue seeing her bf as it's her life. Some people approached my father and told him about this problem. (About my fiancee's family and his sister's problem) They told my father about the physical altercration that they had with his sister's bf and explained to my father that it is best that i stayed away from my fiancee and family as they don't seem like good people.

    it has been 6 months and I'm still with him. I have defended him so much and went against my family to still be with my fiancee. I have spent the past 6 months trying to convince my fiancee to please just put a distance from his sisters as they have a lot of problems for me and this relationship. I have literally cried and begged him to please mind his own bussiness and not get involved in anything regarding his siblings. And i will not get involved with anything regarding my siblings.

    he had agreed but i found out recently that that's not true. He nows tells me that he will only keep away from one sister ( the one who created this mess) but will carry on like normal with his other sisters) Putting a distance from all of them is not possible. He said that i should be more tolerant with his sisters and not be so sensitive. I have been tolerant and quiet for the past 6 months. I have begged him to please just put a clear distance. Until to the point that one of his sisters even got involved in his work recently.

    i have given up. All i asked for is for him to keep distance from his sisters. I have cried and begged him for months now. Just to hear him finally give me excuses. I have gone against my parents for this guy and all i ask for is for him to keep distance from his sisters. I have lost all the fight left in me. His sisters and family have caused so much of problems in my life and i can't get him to stay away. I'm in so much pain amd disappointment that i told him that i want to back off as he will not change.

    am i crazy? Please help. I really can't anymore. It hurts soo much

  • #2
    Hello Jess,

    If you decide to marry someone, you are getting married to both the asset and liability. In your case, his sisters are the liability.

    So, don't expect your fiance to get rid of the liability. There is no way he will cut off his sisters from his life.

    I think you should learn to live with them if you want a relationship with him. Otherwise, you can walk away from the relationship.

    Cheers.

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    • #3
      Jess, you can't take him away from his family. If you can't cope with his sisters, quit the relationship and date someone else.

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      • #4

        I feel your pain. However, there is nothing you can do in this case. Don't forget that these are the same sisters he grew up with from childhood.

        He can't choose you over them, that's just the truth.

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