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Not sure if I should be concerned



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  • Not sure if I should be concerned

    Hello, I have been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half now. We used to date some years back when we lived in the same town, and we reconnected two years ago. We were living 5 hours apart by then. We have known each other for awhile now, and we love each other, I know that and we say it from time to time. Our sex life has always been hot and fulfilling , but lately the flirting and sexual intimacy via talks etc has tapered off a lot. He has been very busy with a new job and quite stressed about that. We talk every day, say goodnight . We talk about our day, things we've read, shows we've watched , hopes, concerns, etc.. but the " wish you were here" and " miss you" comments aren't said very often anymore. I just feel like a general comfortableness has settled in and I'm worried it will be the death of the attraction and passion. Am I worrying for nothing? I know every conversation doesn't have to be emotional and romantic, but there isn't much of that recently. I honestly would love advice on ways to keep the flame alive in a long distance relationship. We've discussed marriage and moving to the same town in the future, but no official plans for that.

  • #2
    Here are a few tips and ways by which you can spice up your long distance relationship..


    This is the most important part of the relationship. Being able to tell the other person how you felt throughout the day might sound a little cliche, but it is the best you could do. But yes, don't force them into knowing EACH AND EVERYTHING.

    A: 'Hey I made a cheese sandwich today.'

    B: 'I'll alert the media.'
    Like seriously, no. Nobody wants to have an absolutely unnecessary conversation like that. Other than what happened above, you should be able to tell each other everything else.


    You might find this too mushy mushy, but no. It actually helps. Do a random 1-10 rating rapid fire round and find out what he/she likes most about what you like too. They might end up liking what you love too. But no, don't expect your boyfriend to rate clothes and accessories. If you want to, give him an option of going negative on numbers.


    THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE. Let the other person breathe. If they want to go out, let them. If they don't want to text you for some time, let that be it. Don't make a fuss out of small issues. Sometimes, even if it's the hard truth, the fact is that we need ourselves more than we need our better halves. Sometimes your importance defines your relationship. What you need is probably more important that what the relationship needs at the moment.

    One of the biggest problems that come up are boyfriends (even girlfriends sometimes) telling their better halves to not dress up the way they do. IT'S A BIG NO NO TO THAT. Dress up the way you want to. Dress up for yourself. Make sure what you do makes you happy because that's how you'll be able to keep the relationship working. And stay away from people who tell you what to do.


    Everyone in a serious relationship would understand this. With the growth of the relationship, people start understand that they have some responsibility and duty towards their partners. And so, taking decisions becomes very important. Talk about things. Talk about life long goals and make sure that you help each other decide what you want. This helps one develop their relationship their own way.


    This is too mainstream but true. Be there for each other when you need each other the most. Everyone makes a mistake for which you stop trusting them. But if you're looking for ways to make your relationship stronger, then make sure you also see how much effort your partner is making in order to gain your trust back. Please don't make them feel like they committed a crime. It's really very immature to get in between all those mistakes from the past in your present fights. Stop that.


    • #3
      The truth of the matter is that long distance relationships can work just like other relationships can. The truth is that dating is hard and takes commitment from both parties. Below you can find tips on how to strengthen your bond with your significant other.

      Avoid Communicating Too Much

      Generally, the standards as to what is considered too much communication varies from couple to couple. There are two extremities: the couple that communicates too much and the couple who doesn't communicate enough. You don't need to compensate for the distance by strangling each other with possessiveness. There are couples who can last without speaking for three days and remain married for thirty years and there are some who speak every hour and break up after two months. Essentially, the best thing to do is to just go with the flow and do what is normal for your relationship.

      Avoid Bad or Serious Situations

      Avoiding bad situations means that you must be aware of what may upset your partner. Since he or she isn't there, it's more straining on a relationship when you go out with someone from your past or if you go out drinking with your friends while being completely aware that it'll bother your partner.

      You have two options regarding dangerous situations: either you don't go at all or you tell your boyfriend/girlfriend where you're going in advance so that you have time to reassure him or her.

      Just be sure to keep your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, etc. in mind before you make certain decisions.

      Do Things Together

      Thus can mean a variety of things. In our technologically-dependent society, you may want to consider playing online video games or watching YouTube videos together. Otherwise, you can read the same books, Skype, movies, etc. over the distance. Even though you're living apart from each other, that doesn't mean you can't share bonding experiences.

      Visit Each Other

      Your relationship must be a two-way street. Obviously, you can't go without seeing each other for the rest of your lives so visits will be necessary. Besides, you guys will have all that much more fun once you see each other again. If, however, one of you is the only one making any effort, then that person will grow to resent the other.

      Be Honest

      It can be easy to either lie or omit the truth from your significant other if you guys are far apart; after all, he or she cannot be there to prove you wrong. But no good relationship can be built on lies; therefore, the best thing you can do for your relationship is to be honest with one another.


      In order to make your relationship genuinely work, there are a variety of things that you must do. This remains true whether you're living apart from your partner or not; however, this post focuses on those who live apart. Tips to make your relationship work include the following: honesty, communication (but not too much, visiting each other, etc.