what to do now?

[chris.ster]

my ex boyfriend and i broke up two months ago. the fault was mine bc i was being jealous and was creating fights over nothing.
the first few days after the breakup were good, we would say hi to each other and maybe look one another at school. everything was okay, but once i was told he had made out w a younger girl, he found out i knew and got angry bc turns out they never did anything (something that i learned a week or two later). plus, people were approaching him, trying to make him change his mind, but it only made things worse. he thought i was making them talk to him.
then, when i went on a trip with my class (i'm a senior and he's a year younger than me), some guy kissed me but i backed away and someone told my ex we had made out. that made him furious. he seriously wants no part of me and he doesn't talk to the dude, either.
i tried contacting him twice but he wanted no part of me, as i mentioned. he's trying to get over me and he's pushing himself to stop caring. he still seems even the slighted bit interested though.
what do i do? how do i win him back? letting go is not an option, i'm madly in love with him. i've been showing too much interest so that might've been bad... but i haven't done anything for about a week now. no posts, no people talking to him about me. nothing. it's exam time too now, so both him and i will concentrate on school... i honestly don't know what to do, i'm lost

[Terry]

If you aren't ready to hand him over to another woman, there are ways to get your boyfriend back in your life.

One problem that many women face when their boyfriend decides to take a break is that they don't get themselves into that same mindset. Instead of using the time to explore other dating experiences, they sit at home waiting for their boyfriend to call with his ultimate decision. In essence, the woman is putting her entire life on hold while her boyfriend goes out and has as much fun as he likes, usually guilt free. One of the most effective ways to get your boyfriend back if he wants to date other people is to do the same. He'll get wind of what you are doing and if he has any feelings for you at all, it will drive him crazy.

If your boyfriend has already started seeing someone else, don't take it upon yourself to point out all her flaws to him. Making negative comments about her will result in him thinking you are jealous and childish. If he does bring her up when talking to you, and he likely will, tell him that she sounds great. End the call quickly by telling him that you've got plans and that you hope to talk soon. Treat him as you would any friend. It's very important when you are looking for ways to get your boyfriend back, to try and view him as a friend. If you can't do it, at least learn to treat him as such. This is instrumental in eventually getting him back.

A very large and common mistake that women make when they are looking for ways to get their relationship back to the way it once was, is to make themselves completely available to their ex boyfriend. This means that when he calls, she jumps. If he calls telling her he wants to talk, she'll rush right over. If he calls her because he's lonely, she'll be the one who comforts him. Putting yourself in this position is a huge mistake. If you do this, your boyfriend will take you for granted. He'll view you as someone who will wait for him, no matter what he does. You need to show him that you are not that person. Don't run to him. Let him be the one who comes to you. To do that you need to make yourself scarce and keep yourself as busy as possible. He needs to see that you have a full and enriching life without him.

[Kate]

Men aren't the same as us in how they deal with the pain of a break up. If you are serious about getting the man to consider another shot at a relationship with you, you have to start thinking more like him.

Men are very concise and direct in how they deal with emotional situations. Most men aren't about drawing things out or making the other person guess what's going on. It's not about games to a man at all. When he wants to end a relationship he'll get right down to business and before you know it, you're dumped.

When a man dumps a woman, she feels this instant sense of rejection. It's overwhelming. Unfortunately, you already know that all too well. It's that rejection that pushes you to want him back so desperately. It's a feeling that you can't shake, regardless of what you do. The only real remedy for it is to be back with your boyfriend again.

That's the same reaction men generally have when they are rejected. Their male pride jumps into action and they feel driven to show the woman who rejected them why she made a mistake. You're going to use that knowledge of men to your advantage right now.

You're going to have to draw on all your personal strength if you want to do this right. You may think that you can't be strong given the fact that you're no longer with your ex, but this is something you have to do if you hope to change that. Give yourself small pep talks every day. Make a list of why you're the best girlfriend for him. Do whatever it takes to get yourself to a place where you feel strong enough to reject him.

The rejection itself is fairly simple and should be quick. You just need to call him up on a day when you feel fearless and you know you won't break down. When he answers, be friendly and make a little chit chat. Then launch into your rejection of him. Keep it short and sweet and say something to the effect of "I just wanted to thank you for helping me see that the break up was the best thing possible for both of us." Then leave it at that. End the conversation after you wish him well.

That one sentence will eat away at your ex boyfriend's ego over time. He'll suddenly see you as a renewed challenge in his life. If you don't want him, he'll want you. It's all about taking away what he thinks he still has.