i hope there are still chances ....

[lingmin1992]

We've been in a relationship for about three months, he's a Japanese who's working in Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. While I'm in Penang, We knew each other via a dating app, and then we met up. He flew to Penang to visit me and we had the instant connection, we kissed and hugged. It feels so comfortable being with him . I like him and he liked me too. But this is just the first time we meet so I didn't ask for much about how things go after. Then we still text after he back to Kl. I was waiting for his message everyday. And yes he will text only when he's free. He does not like to use phone. So he will reply only when he's free , probably twice or once a day. Everybody has their communication style. He's like this when I know him. Then there's second time we meet because he said it has been a while since we met each other, he's wondering whether he can come to Penang . I feel so happy and we met up again. And then I asked whether to have a relationship with him. He said yes. Then we were together.
Things were ok just that I always feel not enough from him, I know he will find me when he's free , I told him that I was insecure and i feel distant when you didn't text. He said no need to feel distant, and that console my heart. And we plan for a trip to Singapore , it was amazing. We had fun and laughed.
Then after that he's busy with work and already been one month plus since we last seen each other. So I constantly asked him whether when we can meet when he's sick and I felt angry and said some sarcastic word to him because he had forgotten about when to meet. Then he asked me to pace down... and then there's three days we didn't contact , I was very anxious and then I texted him and asked him how are you doing and I apologized for my behavior. He didn't respond so I called. He didn't picked up but text me and said that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Because he felt burden.

[Rachael]

Let's play a little game and pretend that you are a going to have a second chance date with your ex and I will point out all mistakes you would likely make.

So, what would you do in a such situation? How would you react to it? After all, you have been waiting for this day for weeks or perhaps even months and now you ex is willing to meet you again.

The rejected lovers are very predictable in this scenario and you would be just like them... making the same mistakes and depriving yourself of any real chance of getting your ex back.

Since this is your second chance date... and perhaps your last chance to impress your ex so it is likely you would invite her/him to some fancy restaurant. You want to make this evening special for both of you.

How about some small but tasteful gift? You want to show your ex that you are the one for them, you want to show how much you really love them.

Your patience has its limits, especially after a drink or two, and it would be just a matter of time before you couldn't control yourself anymore and start convincing your ex that you two should get back together again.

It always starts with innocent questions like... I have been thinking about us a lot lately. Or like... Do you ever think about coming back to me?

And finally the dreadful question which you would absolutely not resist asking... Have you started seeing someone else?

You can imagine what would likely follow - your long awaited second chance date with your ex would turn into a complete disaster and a third chance date would be rather hard to get.

It is all wrong... and it will never work!

Your ex wanted to enjoy being in your presence again but you were looking at it as an opportunity to fix things between two of you. As innocent as it might look you were actually trying to force your ex to change her/him mind about ending the relationship. You were trying to manipulate them.

You will never get your ex back acting like this. Love is a subconscious process, it is carried in our subconscious mind. It doesn't work like our conscious one. You cannot reason with it and you cannot force anything upon it.

If you try, it will start resisting the idea and soon it will lead to developing a sense of resentment toward you. The more you press the stronger it will get. Once resentment kicks in... your relationship is over. Only time can heal it.

To turn a second chance date with your ex into a real opportunity to get your ex back you need to take a different approach. You have to invoke feelings of curiosity, passion, and attraction toward you again... there is simply no other way.

[Jerome]

When you have a long distance ex and you want him/her to miss you then you have a huge task set out for you. This is a tricky game and you will have to play very masterfully. Here is what you need to do if you want to make your long distance ex miss you.

Go silent completely
Sometimes you ex being long distance works in your favor. When you want to make your long distance ex miss you, you will have to go completely silent for a while. This silence is at first going to be a relief to your ex but later is going to get him/her thinking of you. You should also take this time to evaluate why things went south and hence, gather material to talk about when you call him/her.

Choose the timing right to get back in touch
Once you are sure that your ex has cooled off it will be the right time to get back into the picture. At first you need to send a mail detailing that you have understood the cause of the break up and would like to patch things up. Tell him/her that being friends is more important than being lovers and that it would mean a lot if you both could get talking. Then wait for his/her response.

Be a little objective in getting back in touch
Wait it out till he/she sends you a mail back. Don't immediately respond to it as you don't want your ex to think that all you have been doing is waiting for his mail. Be objective. Let a little time pass and then mail him back. Keep it short and sweet and he/she will want to know more.

Start off by raising the white flag
Mail him/her about why you feel your relationship didn't work out and thank your ex for helping you see your flaws. Your ex will begin to miss you as he/she will see that you will have worked on the things that made him/her leave you.

Show him/her that you are moving on
Show your ex that you are moving on and that you are no longer hung up on him/her. Talk of fun things that you have been doing and people you have been meeting. But at no point should you sound like you are trying to make him/her feel bad. Your ex will begin to miss the fun person that you are.

Slowly get a little personal
Gradually start taking a little about personal things. Take dating advice and your ex will begin to miss you.

Rekindle happy memories
Move on to talking over the phone. Talk of happy and fun things and the good times that you both had and your ex will miss you a lot.