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I met A in the October of 2016, she was my roommates/best friends girl friends younger sister (she’s turning 24 in 3 weeks, I’m 28) (they also live together). The very first time we met, I felt something. We spoke to only each other for an hour or more. When my friend left to go home with his gf and A, I told him to hook it up but he said that she had a serious boyfriend (I believe it was a 3 year relationship). For the next few months, basically any time my friend (we’ll call him B) went to their apt, I would half jokingly say, tell A I say hi. Just to be clear, I was going out doing my thing, dating and sleeping with girls this whole time, not really thinking about A but she’d pop into my mind here and there.
Me and A may have seen each other once or twice between then and March, again total connection, and then she broke up with her bf. In early April, we’re out for Bs birthday, this is the first time we’re out together really since we met. We sleep with each other that night for the first time. When I wake up though, I get a feeling over me that this is too sticky of a situation due to her living and being sisters with B’s gf. I text her to be a good guy for a day and then that was it. Over the summer I see her a handful of times, sometimes she stops by with Bs gf, went to dinner the 4 of us a couple of times. That chemistry still there every time, but I’m not doing anything about it. Sort of thinking about her from time to time but accepted the situation.
August comes around and I find out that she’s hooking up with an old friend from college. For some reason I’m definitely not thrilled about it. It’s casual though for about 3 weeks between them. A group of us go out for a big dinner one night, A and I see each other for the first time in a while. We all have a great night drinking and eating, go to a club. A and I wind up sleeping together again. Both voice that there’s totally something between us and that it sucks that we can’t really do anything about it. We’re texting a few days afterwards and eventually I ask her to get drinks and she agrees. Before this happens B and his gf break up so I tell A that we can’t go out or speak anymore because of all of this but we’ll see what happens. She ends up telling that other kid to F off and goes to Peru for a 10 day trip.
About a month later, B and his gf are back together. I’ve been thinking about A and hoping that they’d get back together so I could hang out with her and see what happens (still dating and sleeping with other girls). I wait a few weeks till they’re relationship is back in good order and propose to B that the 4 of us go to dinner. She says she wish she could but she already had plans. I end up texting her, she says she wants to see me, we wind up meeting up at my apt (she’s with a friend), the three of us + B and his gf all hang and drink and have a great time. When they leave, A and I agree to get drinks the following Tuesday. Tuesday comes, I text her to confirm plans and she doesn’t respond. It turns out she had sort of been seeing some guy she met in Nantucket (long distance) for about a month. I’m annoyed about it but couldn’t do anything about it. Apparently the kid is a total doofus, comes to NY twice to visit over the next month, after Halloween she ends things with him.
She’s out with my friends at an engagement party November 4th and texts me late at night saying she only went because she thought that I would be there. She asks me if I’m going to this party that my friend is throwing and the stage was set for us to see each other. We went to the party together (she had a friend from out of town with her), we have a great time, make out, I actually wound up getting punched in the face out of nowhere by my old “friend” from college that clearly wasn’t over her. We all go back to my apt, hang out, we spend some time talking and making out in my room but she has to go. We setup plans for the coming Tuesday. As you can see there’s history between us before this point.
We start dating from that date on, exclusively, although it was not spoken about at all, neither of us hung out with anybody else. We go on a bunch of awesome 1 on 1 dates (not just dinner or drinks, really fun dates), a bunch of group dates, a few times stay in and order dinner, watch a movie. Initially we would see each other twice a week, occasionally 3 times a week, during the week and on weekends, having sleepovers every time. There are a few times that she wants to hang but I said no so it wasn’t too much. We’re texting each other on equal ground (she initiates as much, maybe more than I do) throughout the day although nothing excessive that it’s annoying. The sex is amazing, I make her cum multiple times every time, she says how it’s the best sex she’s ever had and always saying things like I can’t believe how many times you made me cum. In bed she would say things like I’m all yours, you got me, I don’t know the last time I was this happy, I can’t stop thinking about you, things like that. We exchange small Christmas gifts. Then she went away for 10 days in December for the holidays. She’s texting me the whole time. Saying things like I can’t stop thinking about you, can’t get you out of my head, wish you were here, can’t wait to get home to see you, told her family about me. She gets back from vacation, everything is still great. She’s going away again on this fantasy mega yacht trip 2 weeks later, so we hang out probably 3-4 times each of the next two weeks. At this point, the pet name babe has made it’s way into our conversations but not much. I’m super into her at this point. This is the first girl I’ve dated in 6 or 7 years. She tells me she’s not going to fuck me over and she’s all mine and I begin to think that she’s going to want to be my girlfriend soon and I’m perfectly happy with that.
She goes away on this crazy trip and this time texting is hard because she doesn’t have much service, but she continually checks in with me, lets me know what they’re doing, letting me know if she’ll have service or not, always saying good morning and goodnight. Sends me sort of a crappy happy birthday text, but she’s on a trip of a lifetime, I don’t think anything of it. I get a couple of wish you were here’s, although not as much as the first trip. The day she’s leaving she says she’s excited to see me but other than that she’s sad to be coming home. I’m very excited for her to be back and legitimately missed her. She lets me know as soon as she lands and asks me to come over when I get out of work. I go there, she lights up and can’t stop kissing me. We lay in her bed and talk about her trip, have a quickie, go hang out with B and his gf and eat some dinner. Get back in bed, start a Netflix series together, more sex, everything is great. We text throughout the week normally, I let her know I want to hang out with her most of the weekend, she says she’s supposed to hang with a friend but we’ll figure it out. She invites me to meet her out with her friends Thursday night but I was leaving for vacation Tuesday and figured we’d be hanging out all weekend so didn’t want to hang out an additional night. We had plans to go out for dinner Friday but she was complaining about how tired she was all day Friday so I asked if she’d rather order in and chill which is what we did. I went to her apartment, again can’t stop kissing me when I get there. We get dinner, we start talking about our families and our childhoods and things like that (this only came up because she previously asked me to tell her a secret about myself so figured she wanted to get to know more about me on a deeper level), we have a bunch of great sex, watch the rest of our show. Hang out all next morning, get breakfast delivered, some morning sex, eventually she has to go to work and we had plans to go out for dinner that night. I go out to brunch with my buddies, she goes to brunch with her friend and sister after work. I text her to see if she’s cool eating Italian again because that’s what we had ordered in and she hits me with the following…
“I’m sorry, I gotta say something. I have something I’d like to bring up that’s been on my mind the last couple of days. I really value the time we spend together and have so much fun with you but it’s becoming a little more serious than what I want at this time in my life. You’re amazing but I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to put it all out there before any of our feelings get more hurt. I know this might catch you a little off guard but I just want to be open and honest with you. I feel really bad… I really enjoy hanging out with you and what’s happening I just feel like it’s all happening so fast.”
At this point I’m under the impression this is completely over. I responded, “I’ve never been more blindsided. I wish you would have said something this morning rather than sending me a text out of nowhere. I think we should at the least talk in person.” Her sister than spoke to me and said to me that A was just freaking out and didn’t want to end things and that we should speak about slowing things down. Unfortunately I was drunk at this point and hurt and confused and overreacting thinking it was totally over and said I don’t know how you can back pedal in something like this. A texts me saying, “I didn’t mean to blindside you that was not my intention I just had to get that out and I didn’t know how. I don’t want to cut things off completely but I just freaked out a little. Things are just moving really fast.” A and I agree to speak the next day in the afternoon. I wake up to see on her friends snapchat that she went out that night with her till late and I got pissed.
I went over to her place pissed, hurt, confused, angry, extremely cold. Didn’t even look at her when I walked in. We sat down and didn’t have much of a conversation. I spoke in a pretty accusatory tone, asking when this started if it was on vacation and she said no it was a couple of days ago. I asked if she didn’t want a relationship why she would start dating me or did she think we would just hook up a few times and be done, and the way it ended was I asked are you just scared and freaking out because you’re really into me or do you not want this and her response was I’m sorry I’m just not ready for all of this. I said I guess there’s nothing left to talk about, stood up, put my jacket on and left without looking at her. She immediately texted me saying “I feel terrible. I care about you and I didn’t mean for this to happen. I really don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry I’m just not ready for all of this.”
After a few hours of brooding over this and asking probably the wrong people what to do or say I sent a rather emotional text, “I know I was really cold earlier today. I’m just so confused by what’s happened. One minute you’re excited to see me on Tuesday and by Saturday afternoon you’re done with me… I’d like to say what’s on my mind. I think getting back from this crazy trip 5 days ago is messing with your head a little bit (she had been talking to me about getting her yacht crew license and how she wanted to travel in Asia and a few places later in the year) and now you’re throwing this away when you’re not really thinking like yourself. Not that the way you feel isn’t legitimate. I wish you would have taken some time to think about this before what feels like acting impulsively especially with me going away in a couple of days. Things just got intense because of these times crunches due to all these vacations and this is only happening because of these unique circumstances. Everything easily could have fallen back into place when I get back. I think the circumstances encouraged you to jump to this conclusion but more than anything I think you’re scared. I hadn’t opened up to anybody in I don’t know how long but as much as I wanted to fight it, there was something palpable between us. Spending time with you, hearing you tell me how I’m all you think about, how happy you are with me, feeling this connection grow, it scared me too. I’m not sure I’m ready either and have kept my guard up but at the same time I felt like this was real and if there were ever a time to take a chance and put myself out there it was for this. I’ve been scared but I felt like we were on the same page and in it together. I don’t know how you could look at me the way you did Friday and Saturday and throw this away so quickly and want me out of your life. Do you want to slow things down? We could talk about that and figure out what that would look like and what that would mean. I want you to know I really wasn’t trying to rush this, I wasn’t ready to make this official, I was going with the flow and enjoying what we were doing. I just wanted to hang out, have fun and get to know you more. I’m really going to miss everything about you.”
She replied, “I don’t want you out of my life. The trips have made things a little different but either way it felt like things changed all of a sudden and it was intense. You’re right, I am scared. We have a great time together and clearly have a connection. I’m just not ready to be in a serious relationship right now and you and I both know that was the direction this was heading. I don’t know what I want, I’m learning a lot about myself and who I want to be. We’re in different places in our lives and I just don’t want to fall in love. I know I sound crazy but I’m just not ready for all of this. I’m really sorry and it kills me to know that I hurt you. Maybe we can just have this week to sit on all of this and breathe. I don’t want you out of my life but I feel like there’s no in between with you.” I sent another text based on my 23 year old sisters advice to let her know she’s not alone in freaking out saying, “You’re not alone in being scared and I’m still figuring out my life also even though I’m older, what I want to do and who I want to be. I think me going away will be good for both of us. It will give things a chance to cool down and give us some space and time to think. We can talk when I get back. Night.”
I go away Tuesday – Saturday night. No contact at all but I see she’s viewing all of my snapstories I’m posting of my awesome trip. I was supposed to be her +1 to this huge birthday party her friend was having Saturday night. She had previously begged me to come somehow even though I was landing late and I told her that I would be there. Due to the circumstances that didn’t seem like it was in the cards anymore. Apparently she gets blacked out and ends up sleeping with her ex boyfriend (whom she was still friends with since neither of them are from NY but had said he was nothing to worry about that they hadn’t even had sex in the last 3 months of their relationship and he was onto his 2nd gf at the time). I was completely destroyed when I figured all of this out. B wound up seeing her Sunday night and told her that I knew what happened.
She texted me late that night, “Hey, hope you had a fun trip. I just want to say I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. I know it sucks. This weekend was stupid I’m clearly not handling things the way I should be. I never meant to hurt you and I feel sad inside. I just want you to know that I care about you. I’m sorry I backed out I just can’t give you what you want right now. Things are very fresh still and soaking in. You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to but just know I’m sorry. Night night.”
I’ve been no contact since and completely heartbroken to be honest. One minute everything couldn’t be better and I’m thinking this girl is falling in love with me (absolutely no signs of pulling back) and the next this girl is breaking things off with me. Getting serious wasn’t even a thought that had crossed my mind. I keep thinking that had I gone over there like the adult that I’m supposed to be and told her to relax, we can slow things down and take it day by day, everything would have turned out differently. I think she freaked out and in her freak out came to this “I’m not ready for a relationship” conclusion (she’s had bfs her whole life, so she’s no slut) and not I don’t want a relationship, now I’m in one and I’m freaking out.
Should I try speaking to her and talking about slowing things down or is it too broken at this point? And I don’t mean beg to have her back, speak to her in person and tell her that’s what I want and if she doesn’t, then act like a man about it and move on. Do I do the whole no contact for 30 days and then try to reconnect? (her birthday is the first week of March, do I text her something like “Hey just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday – hope you have fun celebrating”?) What should I have done differently? Do you think slowing it down was ever an option? What do you think happened that sparked all of this? Feeling really lost without answers…
Me and A may have seen each other once or twice between then and March, again total connection, and then she broke up with her bf. In early April, we’re out for Bs birthday, this is the first time we’re out together really since we met. We sleep with each other that night for the first time. When I wake up though, I get a feeling over me that this is too sticky of a situation due to her living and being sisters with B’s gf. I text her to be a good guy for a day and then that was it. Over the summer I see her a handful of times, sometimes she stops by with Bs gf, went to dinner the 4 of us a couple of times. That chemistry still there every time, but I’m not doing anything about it. Sort of thinking about her from time to time but accepted the situation.
August comes around and I find out that she’s hooking up with an old friend from college. For some reason I’m definitely not thrilled about it. It’s casual though for about 3 weeks between them. A group of us go out for a big dinner one night, A and I see each other for the first time in a while. We all have a great night drinking and eating, go to a club. A and I wind up sleeping together again. Both voice that there’s totally something between us and that it sucks that we can’t really do anything about it. We’re texting a few days afterwards and eventually I ask her to get drinks and she agrees. Before this happens B and his gf break up so I tell A that we can’t go out or speak anymore because of all of this but we’ll see what happens. She ends up telling that other kid to F off and goes to Peru for a 10 day trip.
About a month later, B and his gf are back together. I’ve been thinking about A and hoping that they’d get back together so I could hang out with her and see what happens (still dating and sleeping with other girls). I wait a few weeks till they’re relationship is back in good order and propose to B that the 4 of us go to dinner. She says she wish she could but she already had plans. I end up texting her, she says she wants to see me, we wind up meeting up at my apt (she’s with a friend), the three of us + B and his gf all hang and drink and have a great time. When they leave, A and I agree to get drinks the following Tuesday. Tuesday comes, I text her to confirm plans and she doesn’t respond. It turns out she had sort of been seeing some guy she met in Nantucket (long distance) for about a month. I’m annoyed about it but couldn’t do anything about it. Apparently the kid is a total doofus, comes to NY twice to visit over the next month, after Halloween she ends things with him.
She’s out with my friends at an engagement party November 4th and texts me late at night saying she only went because she thought that I would be there. She asks me if I’m going to this party that my friend is throwing and the stage was set for us to see each other. We went to the party together (she had a friend from out of town with her), we have a great time, make out, I actually wound up getting punched in the face out of nowhere by my old “friend” from college that clearly wasn’t over her. We all go back to my apt, hang out, we spend some time talking and making out in my room but she has to go. We setup plans for the coming Tuesday. As you can see there’s history between us before this point.
We start dating from that date on, exclusively, although it was not spoken about at all, neither of us hung out with anybody else. We go on a bunch of awesome 1 on 1 dates (not just dinner or drinks, really fun dates), a bunch of group dates, a few times stay in and order dinner, watch a movie. Initially we would see each other twice a week, occasionally 3 times a week, during the week and on weekends, having sleepovers every time. There are a few times that she wants to hang but I said no so it wasn’t too much. We’re texting each other on equal ground (she initiates as much, maybe more than I do) throughout the day although nothing excessive that it’s annoying. The sex is amazing, I make her cum multiple times every time, she says how it’s the best sex she’s ever had and always saying things like I can’t believe how many times you made me cum. In bed she would say things like I’m all yours, you got me, I don’t know the last time I was this happy, I can’t stop thinking about you, things like that. We exchange small Christmas gifts. Then she went away for 10 days in December for the holidays. She’s texting me the whole time. Saying things like I can’t stop thinking about you, can’t get you out of my head, wish you were here, can’t wait to get home to see you, told her family about me. She gets back from vacation, everything is still great. She’s going away again on this fantasy mega yacht trip 2 weeks later, so we hang out probably 3-4 times each of the next two weeks. At this point, the pet name babe has made it’s way into our conversations but not much. I’m super into her at this point. This is the first girl I’ve dated in 6 or 7 years. She tells me she’s not going to fuck me over and she’s all mine and I begin to think that she’s going to want to be my girlfriend soon and I’m perfectly happy with that.
She goes away on this crazy trip and this time texting is hard because she doesn’t have much service, but she continually checks in with me, lets me know what they’re doing, letting me know if she’ll have service or not, always saying good morning and goodnight. Sends me sort of a crappy happy birthday text, but she’s on a trip of a lifetime, I don’t think anything of it. I get a couple of wish you were here’s, although not as much as the first trip. The day she’s leaving she says she’s excited to see me but other than that she’s sad to be coming home. I’m very excited for her to be back and legitimately missed her. She lets me know as soon as she lands and asks me to come over when I get out of work. I go there, she lights up and can’t stop kissing me. We lay in her bed and talk about her trip, have a quickie, go hang out with B and his gf and eat some dinner. Get back in bed, start a Netflix series together, more sex, everything is great. We text throughout the week normally, I let her know I want to hang out with her most of the weekend, she says she’s supposed to hang with a friend but we’ll figure it out. She invites me to meet her out with her friends Thursday night but I was leaving for vacation Tuesday and figured we’d be hanging out all weekend so didn’t want to hang out an additional night. We had plans to go out for dinner Friday but she was complaining about how tired she was all day Friday so I asked if she’d rather order in and chill which is what we did. I went to her apartment, again can’t stop kissing me when I get there. We get dinner, we start talking about our families and our childhoods and things like that (this only came up because she previously asked me to tell her a secret about myself so figured she wanted to get to know more about me on a deeper level), we have a bunch of great sex, watch the rest of our show. Hang out all next morning, get breakfast delivered, some morning sex, eventually she has to go to work and we had plans to go out for dinner that night. I go out to brunch with my buddies, she goes to brunch with her friend and sister after work. I text her to see if she’s cool eating Italian again because that’s what we had ordered in and she hits me with the following…
“I’m sorry, I gotta say something. I have something I’d like to bring up that’s been on my mind the last couple of days. I really value the time we spend together and have so much fun with you but it’s becoming a little more serious than what I want at this time in my life. You’re amazing but I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to put it all out there before any of our feelings get more hurt. I know this might catch you a little off guard but I just want to be open and honest with you. I feel really bad… I really enjoy hanging out with you and what’s happening I just feel like it’s all happening so fast.”
At this point I’m under the impression this is completely over. I responded, “I’ve never been more blindsided. I wish you would have said something this morning rather than sending me a text out of nowhere. I think we should at the least talk in person.” Her sister than spoke to me and said to me that A was just freaking out and didn’t want to end things and that we should speak about slowing things down. Unfortunately I was drunk at this point and hurt and confused and overreacting thinking it was totally over and said I don’t know how you can back pedal in something like this. A texts me saying, “I didn’t mean to blindside you that was not my intention I just had to get that out and I didn’t know how. I don’t want to cut things off completely but I just freaked out a little. Things are just moving really fast.” A and I agree to speak the next day in the afternoon. I wake up to see on her friends snapchat that she went out that night with her till late and I got pissed.
I went over to her place pissed, hurt, confused, angry, extremely cold. Didn’t even look at her when I walked in. We sat down and didn’t have much of a conversation. I spoke in a pretty accusatory tone, asking when this started if it was on vacation and she said no it was a couple of days ago. I asked if she didn’t want a relationship why she would start dating me or did she think we would just hook up a few times and be done, and the way it ended was I asked are you just scared and freaking out because you’re really into me or do you not want this and her response was I’m sorry I’m just not ready for all of this. I said I guess there’s nothing left to talk about, stood up, put my jacket on and left without looking at her. She immediately texted me saying “I feel terrible. I care about you and I didn’t mean for this to happen. I really don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry I’m just not ready for all of this.”
After a few hours of brooding over this and asking probably the wrong people what to do or say I sent a rather emotional text, “I know I was really cold earlier today. I’m just so confused by what’s happened. One minute you’re excited to see me on Tuesday and by Saturday afternoon you’re done with me… I’d like to say what’s on my mind. I think getting back from this crazy trip 5 days ago is messing with your head a little bit (she had been talking to me about getting her yacht crew license and how she wanted to travel in Asia and a few places later in the year) and now you’re throwing this away when you’re not really thinking like yourself. Not that the way you feel isn’t legitimate. I wish you would have taken some time to think about this before what feels like acting impulsively especially with me going away in a couple of days. Things just got intense because of these times crunches due to all these vacations and this is only happening because of these unique circumstances. Everything easily could have fallen back into place when I get back. I think the circumstances encouraged you to jump to this conclusion but more than anything I think you’re scared. I hadn’t opened up to anybody in I don’t know how long but as much as I wanted to fight it, there was something palpable between us. Spending time with you, hearing you tell me how I’m all you think about, how happy you are with me, feeling this connection grow, it scared me too. I’m not sure I’m ready either and have kept my guard up but at the same time I felt like this was real and if there were ever a time to take a chance and put myself out there it was for this. I’ve been scared but I felt like we were on the same page and in it together. I don’t know how you could look at me the way you did Friday and Saturday and throw this away so quickly and want me out of your life. Do you want to slow things down? We could talk about that and figure out what that would look like and what that would mean. I want you to know I really wasn’t trying to rush this, I wasn’t ready to make this official, I was going with the flow and enjoying what we were doing. I just wanted to hang out, have fun and get to know you more. I’m really going to miss everything about you.”
She replied, “I don’t want you out of my life. The trips have made things a little different but either way it felt like things changed all of a sudden and it was intense. You’re right, I am scared. We have a great time together and clearly have a connection. I’m just not ready to be in a serious relationship right now and you and I both know that was the direction this was heading. I don’t know what I want, I’m learning a lot about myself and who I want to be. We’re in different places in our lives and I just don’t want to fall in love. I know I sound crazy but I’m just not ready for all of this. I’m really sorry and it kills me to know that I hurt you. Maybe we can just have this week to sit on all of this and breathe. I don’t want you out of my life but I feel like there’s no in between with you.” I sent another text based on my 23 year old sisters advice to let her know she’s not alone in freaking out saying, “You’re not alone in being scared and I’m still figuring out my life also even though I’m older, what I want to do and who I want to be. I think me going away will be good for both of us. It will give things a chance to cool down and give us some space and time to think. We can talk when I get back. Night.”
I go away Tuesday – Saturday night. No contact at all but I see she’s viewing all of my snapstories I’m posting of my awesome trip. I was supposed to be her +1 to this huge birthday party her friend was having Saturday night. She had previously begged me to come somehow even though I was landing late and I told her that I would be there. Due to the circumstances that didn’t seem like it was in the cards anymore. Apparently she gets blacked out and ends up sleeping with her ex boyfriend (whom she was still friends with since neither of them are from NY but had said he was nothing to worry about that they hadn’t even had sex in the last 3 months of their relationship and he was onto his 2nd gf at the time). I was completely destroyed when I figured all of this out. B wound up seeing her Sunday night and told her that I knew what happened.
She texted me late that night, “Hey, hope you had a fun trip. I just want to say I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. I know it sucks. This weekend was stupid I’m clearly not handling things the way I should be. I never meant to hurt you and I feel sad inside. I just want you to know that I care about you. I’m sorry I backed out I just can’t give you what you want right now. Things are very fresh still and soaking in. You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to but just know I’m sorry. Night night.”
I’ve been no contact since and completely heartbroken to be honest. One minute everything couldn’t be better and I’m thinking this girl is falling in love with me (absolutely no signs of pulling back) and the next this girl is breaking things off with me. Getting serious wasn’t even a thought that had crossed my mind. I keep thinking that had I gone over there like the adult that I’m supposed to be and told her to relax, we can slow things down and take it day by day, everything would have turned out differently. I think she freaked out and in her freak out came to this “I’m not ready for a relationship” conclusion (she’s had bfs her whole life, so she’s no slut) and not I don’t want a relationship, now I’m in one and I’m freaking out.
Should I try speaking to her and talking about slowing things down or is it too broken at this point? And I don’t mean beg to have her back, speak to her in person and tell her that’s what I want and if she doesn’t, then act like a man about it and move on. Do I do the whole no contact for 30 days and then try to reconnect? (her birthday is the first week of March, do I text her something like “Hey just wanted to wish you Happy Birthday – hope you have fun celebrating”?) What should I have done differently? Do you think slowing it down was ever an option? What do you think happened that sparked all of this? Feeling really lost without answers…
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